crying at drop off...wwyd?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I know there is a camp board...but this question is not about a specific camp as much as what advice others would give for this scenario. six year old DS has been going to the same camp for three years. He seems to like it and never complained. Until last week.
He asks every day NOT to go the next day and says he just hates it there. I have called and tried to get some details but it does not seem to be registering to the camp that he is miserable. I have never called them in the other summer's we have been there... but this summer is a disaster. He is signed up there all summer and I work full time so our other options are very limited. This morning the babysitter told me he cried at drop off...he has never done that. I am so sad and not sure what to do. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Did it get better? I am at a loss.... |
Anonymous
| I'd be suspicious that there's something specific going on at camp. Is someone picking on him? Can you spend some quiet time alone with him and see if you can get him to open up about it? |
Anonymous
|
OP, I just dropped my two off a day camp with some complaining. Here is my theory: Sometimes, they just don't want to do it. For whatever reason or no reason. Just like sometimes I feel like going shopping or to a movie and sometimes I don't. It's really no more complicated than that.
It's just that little kids don't usually get a voice in things like this. We just sign them up for any and everything, tell them how great it's going to be and expect them to fall in line. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. |
Anonymous
Poor thing.  he can't give you any details why he's so miserable?
Can you call the director directly? Is there a way to switch groups or anything? That might help a lot if it's a particular kid or counselor who's bugging him. |
Anonymous
| I agree that there is a a chance he is just not into the camp this summer, but I would try my best to find out if something more is going on. Can you ask (or demand if the camp just brushes you off) for the counselor to follow your DS closely for a couple days to see if someone is picking on him? Does he have any friends from school there with him - could he have been put into a group without all of his friends? That happened to my DD one summer (she is 10 now) - the camp had 3 different groups and somehow she was separated from all her friends which made her miserable and say she hated going, but it took a couple weeks to figure out that is why. |
Anonymous
| So he's 6 and has been going to the same camp for 3 years. Is it a camp at a daycare? I see you have a babysitter so maybe its a half-day camp. I'm just wondering if maybe it is too "young" for him. |
Anonymous
| I would take him out to his favorite restaurant/ice cream place and when he is calm ask him if he likes camp. Start with that and go from there. Don't make a big deal out of it--sometimes the issue comes out just casually and he will be more open in a comfortable setting or eating his favorite food. Hard to speculate what the reason is--so use a casual approach and calmly get to the bottom of his angst. |
Anonymous
| He's six. This isn't some attachment issue, he's obviously not happy there for whatever reason and has told you that. God knows what has happened or is happening. Why would you keep him there? |
Anonymous
|
Has anything changed in his life recently? Did he have really close friends at preschool who aren't at camp with him? It seems like something else could be bothering him.
I would approach the camp seriously and demand to talk with them about this if they aren't taking you seriously. Mostly, I would want to know whether he seems to be having a good time during camp. It's fine to be hesitant ahead of time and maybe not want to go, but if he's enjoying it during the camp itself, then I wouldn't stress too much. Maybe also if someone at the camp could try to keep an eye on him for a day or two and see if anything strange is happening -- like he's being picked on, or he seems really uncomfortable with a particular activity. Keep talking with him about this, and don't try to put words into his mouth about what's bothering him. Just be open to any little thing he might say -- no matter how insignificant it seems to you. Also, ask if there are things you could do to help -- does he want to bring a different lunchbox or swimming suit or something? It might be nothing more than a phase he's going through, or it could be that something is happening at camp that makes him uncomfortable (which could be anything from a kid picking on him to them serving broccoli at lunch). |
Anonymous
|
This sounds like a summer camp? They change drastically from year to year because it is rare that the same counsellors are there. Maybe the staff this year do not have a good handle on the kids. Maybe kids are bullying him. I would speak directly with the staff in charge of the camp.
Is there absolutely no where else you could send him? What is your location, and we could give you some tips about other camps. I signed my kids up for a different camp each week this summer, but I told them that we have Kinder Care as a back up if they hate a particular camp. |
Anonymous
The camp not noticing/not caring that he is miserable is a big red flag. A good camp should be on top of things -- either noticing themselves or responsive when a parent calls. Is it possible the camp is just too chaotic for him? At 6, is he in a different division from the little kids/expected to show more independence than he's ready for? I don't know what your other child care options are, but if you have choices, I'd withdraw him from this camp. |
Anonymous
|
I remember my mom sending my sister and I off to a boys and girls club type camp when we were in early elementary school. It was loosely organized with lots of free time just standing around waiting/playing/socializing. It was fine the year my sister and I were together but the next year she moved up to the next age group.
I was painfully shy, just couldn't feel included and felt like such a loser standing by myself. I hated it for the two weeks. |
Anonymous
| A six year old should be capable of explaining why he hates it there. |
Anonymous
|
My son went from liking a camp to hating it. What is fun one year is boring another year. And sometimes the other kids are meaner or the conselors are not as observant or helpful. Last year my son cried before and after camp....every day.
Then he would change camps, say the new one is worse, and the one the week before was fine. I used to love summer, now I dread it. |
Anonymous
|
OP here...an update. I left work a little early yesterday and picked him up from camp. He was ok...not happy...bur not crying. I took him out for ice cream and to the libray to see if he would open up about what is going on.
He said there is a bully in one of the other groups in camp who says mean things to him. This makes sense to me as we have never had a problem with the camp before and likely just one kid upsetting him. I asked if the other Kid ever hurt him and he said ..no..."not yet" ...it broke my heart. My son is very shy and hates confrontation ( honestly....what six year old likes it). I will call the camp yet again today and explain what my kid told me and hope it is ok. I know they have lots of kids they need to look after....but I need them to keep an eye out here. Fwiw...if this does continue and I do end up needling new camp suggestions...he is at head first in Bethesda. I would hate to have to change at this point because I have always seen my son like the camp...but if the bullying goes on...I really have no choice
|