Staying with aunts out of state

[Anonymous]

DH has two wonderful aunts, who are identical twins, and who live in a very nice suburb of Chicago right on the train line to downtown. They are in their late 60s and live together. It's kind of an...interesting situation - they're both fun, interesting, attractive people, both worked as lawyers in the non-profit sector and are recently retired, but neither are married, one has a long term (20+ years) boyfriend but I don't think they'll ever get married for fear of "letting down" the other one. They even share a room, even though they have a four bedroom house. Other than that, they're so very normal. We LOVE seeing them.

Anyway, my college aged DS (rising Soph) was offered a four week internship in Chicago in August which is a great, amazing opportunity for him and it would make tons and tons of sense for him to stay with them but I'm not sure if that's appropriate for us to even ask. DS is a nice, respectful 19 year old, wouldn't give them any trouble, etc. They would say yes in a heartbeat and I'm sure would make him breakfast every morning and shower him with love because that's the kind of people they are, but I'm still just not sure if it's acceptable to ask.

[Anonymous]

When DH moved to DC for a job in his mid-20s he called his much older cousin (their kids were in college and high school at the time) who lived in manassas and they took him in for a month or two while he got settled. He hadn't seen them since he was a toddler. They were awesome--invited us to come to the beach with them, included us on holidays and treated us like we were their kids for as long as we lived there.

[Anonymous]

Your dH can call and let them know he's coming, and ask if they might have any leads on a place for him to stay. This gives them a chance to offer of they are interested, but doesn't put them on the spot if they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has two wonderful aunts, who are identical twins, and who live in a very nice suburb of Chicago right on the train line to downtown. They are in their late 60s and live together. It's kind of an...interesting situation - they're both fun, interesting, attractive people, both worked as lawyers in the non-profit sector and are recently retired, but neither are married, one has a long term (20+ years) boyfriend but I don't think they'll ever get married for fear of "letting down" the other one. They even share a room, even though they have a four bedroom house. Other than that, they're so very normal. We LOVE seeing them.

Anyway, my college aged DS (rising Soph) was offered a four week internship in Chicago in August which is a great, amazing opportunity for him and it would make tons and tons of sense for him to stay with them but I'm not sure if that's appropriate for us to even ask. DS is a nice, respectful 19 year old, wouldn't give them any trouble, etc. They would say yes in a heartbeat and I'm sure would make him breakfast every morning and shower him with love because that's the kind of people they are, but I'm still just not sure if it's acceptable to ask.

Have DH bring up the internship as exciting news to his aunts. They will undoubtably ask where DS will be staying. DH can then say (truthfully) that he hasn't figured that out yet, since the internship does not include housing. This will give the aunts a chance to offer if they want him to stay with them.

[Anonymous]

Just ask them. Sounds like they would be flattered.

[Anonymous]

Ask them. I bet they would love having their great nephew around.

You say they would say yes so I am not sure why this is even a question.

[Anonymous]

I can see why OP would hestitate to ask. But I agree with PPs -- call and give them the "good news" and see if they don't offer. If you're certain they would enjoy having him, they should offer very quickly. If they don't, you can try asking for ideas on where he can live, and see if that prompts them.

I bet they offer the minute they hear he's coming.

[Anonymous]

I've had a nephew stay with me for an internship - we loved it and it was a chance to get to know him better. Just ask politely, give them an out and don't be upset if they have an excuse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your dH can call and let them know he's coming, and ask if they might have any leads on a place for him to stay. This gives them a chance to offer of they are interested, but doesn't put them on the spot if they are not.

This. Exactly this. Teach your son to be a proper guest, and give him money to take them out to a nice dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see why OP would hestitate to ask. But I agree with PPs -- call and give them the "good news" and see if they don't offer. If you're certain they would enjoy having him, they should offer very quickly. If they don't, you can try asking for ideas on where he can live, and see if that prompts them.

I bet they offer the minute they hear he's coming.

+1
This approach is good--it gives them an opportunity to offer, which they likely will.
I've been on the other side of this situation (have space, younger relative coming to town and no firm plans). It was great all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why OP would hestitate to ask. But I agree with PPs -- call and give them the "good news" and see if they don't offer. If you're certain they would enjoy having him, they should offer very quickly. If they don't, you can try asking for ideas on where he can live, and see if that prompts them.

I bet they offer the minute they hear he's coming.

+1
This approach is good--it gives them an opportunity to offer, which they likely will.
I've been on the other side of this situation (have space, younger relative coming to town and no firm plans). It was great all around.

PP you quoted. It also gives the aunts the freedom NOT to offer. You never know whether someone really wants a long-term house guest.

If, instead, they offer suggestions on other places to live, there you go. I'm sure he'll still be invited to dinner.