Horrible IEP meeting - I could use a shoulder

[Anonymous]

At least I didn't start crying until after I left the meeting. There were a number of things that went wrong. The school team radically changed what was agreed to at our last meeting (this was a re-convene) and I received no prior notice of the change. I (and my advocate) were blindsided. We were in agreement on what was needed at our last meeting (and it was documented in the notes section of the draft IEP) and we were reconvening to iron out details. I went into the meeting really excited to hear how they were going to implement what we had agreed upon. Instead, they changed their minds and are proposing something completely different. The short story is they don't believe the data (which was only communicated to us orally at this meeting) supports the previous recommendation and the new proposal is supported by the data. My advocate and I are in complete disagreement with the school team. I can't believe the bait and switch. I can't believe they really think this is appropriate for him. I believe FCPS admin came down on them and dictated the change. I gotta pull myself together before the kids come home. No way I could go back to work after that meeting. I feel crushed (and now I've started crying again).

[Anonymous]

Have a good cry and get your advocate hat back on and don't take this lying down. I'm sure there is a way to file a grievance about the process and the way you were just treated. Make it clear (and do it in writing) that they haven't heard the last of you and you are not accepting their new plan of action. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Work with your advocate and fight for what you both feel is appropriate. Thank goodness it is summer so hopefully you can get everything resolved before the new school year.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. I wish I had something more useful, but I'm sure you will be able to summon the strength from somewhere.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you do have an advocate at least. Hopefully they can help you get this ironed out. It can be really demoralizing to think about setting your kid up for failure.

[Anonymous]

Reconvene with the advocate and discuss how you can document the meeting, and push for a review in the early part of the next school year. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. Wishing you strength and love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least I didn't start crying until after I left the meeting. There were a number of things that went wrong. The school team radically changed what was agreed to at our last meeting (this was a re-convene) and I received no prior notice of the change. I (and my advocate) were blindsided. We were in agreement on what was needed at our last meeting (and it was documented in the notes section of the draft IEP) and we were reconvening to iron out details. I went into the meeting really excited to hear how they were going to implement what we had agreed upon. Instead, they changed their minds and are proposing something completely different. The short story is they don't believe the data (which was only communicated to us orally at this meeting) supports the previous recommendation and the new proposal is supported by the data. My advocate and I are in complete disagreement with the school team. I can't believe the bait and switch. I can't believe they really think this is appropriate for him. I believe FCPS admin came down on them and dictated the change. I gotta pull myself together before the kids come home. No way I could go back to work after that meeting. I feel crushed (and now I've started crying again).

I commend you for this!!

[Anonymous]

So sorry. What you need to do is give yourself a some space. When you've cleared your head, consider what was offered and figure out what more is needed. Then work with your advocate.

[Anonymous]

details please

[Anonymous]

Right there with you. You have to wonder why these ppl chose to work with kids if they don't actually plan to help them.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Even good IEP meetings are tough. Getting the rug pulled out from under you, when you thought you had some agreement, sucks in all kinds of ways.

I'd check into the new plan that they are offering and see if it meets your needs. If it seems like a good idea, try it. If it doesn't work, go back to your first plan.

If it doesn't meet your needs, excercise your right to appeal and get a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP - we just had a horrific IEP meeting a few weeks ago.

When you say "you don't believe the data", what do you mean? just want a little clarification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say "you don't believe the data", what do you mean? just want a little clarification.

OP here. I appreciate everyone's good wishes. I've calmed down and had a chance to compose myself. I think what really set me (and my advocate) off is that when we went into the meeting, there was no discuss of data or analysis. The team began with a presentation of goals and service hours that were completely different than what we left with from the last meeting. When we asked why they were changed, the school team said that the data didn't support what we had agreed to previously. We asked to see the data. The school team could only provide the data orally, they did not have the data available for us to review. They had the data, they saw the data and they made a decision that reversed what we had agreed to at the last meeting. It was a fait accompli.

What they're proposing may, in fact, be acceptable. But, without being able to review the data, I can't agree that it shows what they say it shows. This wouldn't be the first time the school team has come to a conclusion that is, in fact, contrary to the data (we've had a number of IEEs and other outside evaluations that supported our interpretation). If they're offering data that contradicts what has been repeatedly documented over the years, they need to be able to show me. and they should have done it first. I learned a long time ago that the system wants to conserve resources and not necessarily do what's appropriate. This isn't my only kid with an IEP and I've seen this over and over again.

So, yeah, I had an emotional reaction. This is why you shouldn't spring something so unexpected on a parent. I can't believe they didn't anticipate how this would be received. How would they have reacted if they were in my shoes and my experience with them?

[Anonymous]

I think that sounds very shady. They agreed on something at the last meeting (and then *something* happened to make them all change their mind and go with a different plan, letmeguess: a plan that is less expensive/easier/uses less resources?). Very shady.

What did your advocate say?