I'm 29 he is 24, is that too much of a gap?

[Anonymous]

I usually go for guys my age or a couple of years older and I feel somehow weird about the age difference but i really like him.

I guess I'm just wondering if someone here was in a similar relationship and how things went.

Do you guys think the age gap is too large or can it work?

[Anonymous]

???

[Anonymous]

Depends what you both want. My DH is a year younger, but it made a big difference. He wanted to marry later and have kids later than I wanted. Most women marry someone 2-3 years older, so all my friend's DH's wanted kids years before my DH did.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the people involved, but I'd say for *most* people, at those particular life stages - it tends to be too much of a gap with the woman being older.

How important is marriage & kids in the next 3 - 5 years for you?

I'm assuming it's a new relationship, so you don't want to get too heavy too fast. But if those things are important to you, in the first couple months I'd suggest having a serious conversation with him about where he's at in his life and if he sees those as possibilities (not with you, but in general) in his 20s.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine. I know many couples with this sort of age gap. Not a big deal unless you think it is.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

As an added bonus this age gap keeps women in check for weight loss and looking good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the people involved, but I'd say for *most* people, at those particular life stages - it tends to be too much of a gap with the woman being older.

How important is marriage & kids in the next 3 - 5 years for you?

I'm assuming it's a new relationship, so you don't want to get too heavy too fast. But if those things are important to you, in the first couple months I'd suggest having a serious conversation with him about where he's at in his life and if he sees those as possibilities (not with you, but in general) in his 20s.

OP here, yes the relationship is pretty new, i'm ambivalent about kids, for me it's more important to meet someone i want to spend my life with and if we have kids great if not that's fine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the people involved, but I'd say for *most* people, at those particular life stages - it tends to be too much of a gap with the woman being older.

How important is marriage & kids in the next 3 - 5 years for you?

I'm assuming it's a new relationship, so you don't want to get too heavy too fast. But if those things are important to you, in the first couple months I'd suggest having a serious conversation with him about where he's at in his life and if he sees those as possibilities (not with you, but in general) in his 20s.

OP here, yes the relationship is pretty new, i'm ambivalent about kids, for me it's more important to meet someone i want to spend my life with and if we have kids great if not that's fine too.

PP here - Cool, then I don't think it's as big of a deal. I'd still recommend not throwing more than 18 months at the relationship without having a pretty solid understanding of where it is going, because your options do start to get lower the older you get (more good guys are taken, not that you aren't as much of a catch but it's just math), but I think it's fine if you like him and aren't feeling any pressure about kids.

[Anonymous]

Depends on where he is with his life. I can tell you that at age 24 I might have enjoyed an extended roll around with a 29 year old woman, but I can admit that I'd not have been a suitable long term partner for her at that age. I changed significantly between age 25 and 30. You just have to determine if your 24 year old is ready for the same things that you are, and equipped to handle them.

Five years in general isn't so much, but 5 years at this stage might be. Only you can determine that.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who met her DH when she was 29 and he was 25.

They're in their forties now and happily married with 2 cute kids.

[Anonymous]

I was 30 and my husband was 25 when we met, at first i felt like you and i agree with the pp who said you will probably much earlier be ready for marriage and children, i had my first at 36 because he wanted to wait but if it feels right and you really like him i would say go for it.

[Anonymous]

I think the gap is too much op maybe if you two were over 30 but at 24 i doubt he is ready for a relationship with a 29 year old woman.

[Anonymous]

Non issue. OP if you feel its right, go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 30 and my husband was 25 when we met, at first i felt like you and i agree with the pp who said you will probably much earlier be ready for marriage and children, i had my first at 36 because he wanted to wait but if it feels right and you really like him i would say go for it.

This is me exactly. At first I figured it was just a fun fling and then figured it was a nice relationship with a guy I really liked but whom long term wouldn't work but then we were still together and neither of us wanted to break up. We did have to both compromise. For me, waiting until 35 to actively try for pregnancy (almost 37 before twins born) and going slower than I needed to and for him, being willing to have kids earlier than necessary and ahead of some peers.

I still don't love that I'll be 40 and he'll still get to be 35 but I really like sharing our lives and we have a beautiful family.