Little League Politics

[Anonymous]

I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the favoritism parental politicking in our Little League Baseball League. My son is 10 and is a good baseball player. His pitching, hitting, and fielding record ranks at least in the top 3 players on his team. He has the best hitting record on the team. He works hard, and is never late to practice or a game. My husband volunteers to help maintain the field, and helps out at practice, and I contribute by keeping score and planning team celebrations. (I mention this only to illustrate that we contribute to the team.)

DS rarely got a chance to pitch this season, because the coach had a roster of pitchers he said he wanted to develop. All of these kids were the sons of the coaches, or the friends of the sons of the coaches. They all go to the same school and are in the same class. (DS and a few of the other kids go to a different school.) Statistically, my son is a better pitcher, with more strikes thrown, and fewer walks. He has politely asked the coach if/when he can pitch, and has been repeatedly brushed off, even when he pitches very well when given the chance.

This year 4 kids on the team were picked for the All-Stars, but my son was not. Statistically, he has a better record than 3 of the kids. One kid picked never hit the ball the entire season and never pitched. Another was thrown out two games for yelling at the umpire, and fights with players on the opposing team. (Bad sportsmanship.) All of the kids picked were sons of the coaches or team manager.

DS is really upset, and so am I. I am considering asking the head coach what the criteria is for All-Stars, which I know will back him into a corner, since he's obviously not using performance or even sportsmanship as the criteria. We could just ask for a different coach next season, but to some degree this kind of favoritism is standard for the league -- this team was just the worst we have encountered. How can we help ensure DS has a chance to excel and doesn't just want to give up because other kids keep getting chances he doesn't?

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. This sucks. But, the reality is the world isn't fair and you can not ensure that your son gets a fair shake. Coaches are human and subject to their own concious and unconcious bias. I've been in your shoes and definately felt my kid was overlooked and it stinks. Trying to fix it will in all liklihood make it worse for your son.

You and your son have to decide whether you will a) accept the fact that this coach plays favorites but stay becasue he likes to play with this team or b) move on for greener pasture. If you do say anything to the coach I would wait at least 3 days until your emotions have cooled. Then, I would encourage your SON to email the coach expressing his disappointment that he wasn't recognized and asking how he can improve to meet the all star criteria next season.

I suggest you reframe in your own head as an opporunity for your son to learn some grit. He works hard not because he's recognized as an All Star but because he gives it his all no matter what. The team does have an interest in developing other pitchers and sometimes individual goals are sacraficed for team goals. No coaches are perfect but if your son likes this coach try to support him as much as possible. Finally, when something similar happened to my DD, we made the coveted award a bit of a joke in our family to take the sting out of the situtaiton. Something akin to calling each other "All Stars" whenever you blow your top "Ha Ha." A sense of humor helps heal all.

[jsteele]

Please join the cross-posted discussion:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/478762.page