Single Parents of Young Children - sharing housing ?

[Anonymous]

Living in metro DC as a single parent, even with a 6 figure income, is most challenging. Are you finding many single parents (heterosexual) of younger children sharing housing? Where would be a good place to search for another responsible single parent who is professional and may be interested in sharing a home in a (the) good school district in Washington, DC?

[Anonymous]

This sounds amazing to me. I have a friend who grew up in a house on the Hill with other families. It was a commune of sorts. Everyone lived freely, but meals were grouped. They rotated the shopping and assigned chores based on what people liked to do anyway. It sounds like a lovely set up if (IF!!) you can find like-minded people and agree on general guidelines.

I'm a single mom and homeowner. I would happily join with another family if I thought it could work. None of my closest friends has children, or I'd jump on the idea.

The level of trust is critical, but even then it's pretty difficult figuring out a good fit. It would take me a long time to work it out with a dear friend I've known forever. I honestly can't imagine what it would take to lock in someone new.

[Anonymous]

It's called Co-Abode, and I think there's a website by that name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called Co-Abode, and I think there's a website by that name.

Home page: http://www.coabode.com/cgi-bin/members.cgi?state=int&logid=11543182152808

[Anonymous]

I did this for ayears right after my divorce. I was a nurse and job shared with another single mom and we both needed to go full time because I was getting a divorce and she saw one coming down the road. We were both frightened by childcare costs and keeping a household running on a single income. We grabbed coffee one night and made a plan. We each went to full time and scheduled 3 (12) hour shifts opposite of each other and the other would watch the kids. (3-12's is considered a full time schedule in our field) This was the first layer of arrangement. Then about a year into it I finally sold my marital house and was looking for a condo/apartment. She asked if I would consider a 3 bedroom and live together. At this time she was separated and needing to sell her house soon. So I bought a 3 bedroom condo and she paid me rent. The kids got one room (I had one, she had two, all boys!!!) and we each got the other two rooms. We worked opposite shifts for about 6 years and never had a problem. Never having childcare costs gave us both a secure financial future which can be hard to obtain when divorced. Whats odd is we didn't really have much in common at all! She was jewish, I'm (kind-of) catholic, I'm an athlete and shes a book worm, etc etc. We both kept a pretty clean house and were laid back parents and thats all it really took. Our kids were SO distraught when she got married a few years ago and moved out. My son still spends 2-3 nights with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called Co-Abode, and I think there's a website by that name.

Home page: http://www.coabode.com/cgi-bin/members.cgi?state=int&logid=11543182152808

As a single mom who owns a house, this sounds awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called Co-Abode, and I think there's a website by that name.

Home page: http://www.coabode.com/cgi-bin/members.cgi?state=int&logid=11543182152808

As a single mom who owns a house, this sounds awesome.

Yes, if you can get a compatible mix, I think it's amazing.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that a lot of us want to do it, in part, to keep our houses. Everyone has a house, everyone wants to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this for ayears right after my divorce. I was a nurse and job shared with another single mom and we both needed to go full time because I was getting a divorce and she saw one coming down the road. We were both frightened by childcare costs and keeping a household running on a single income. We grabbed coffee one night and made a plan. We each went to full time and scheduled 3 (12) hour shifts opposite of each other and the other would watch the kids. (3-12's is considered a full time schedule in our field) This was the first layer of arrangement. Then about a year into it I finally sold my marital house and was looking for a condo/apartment. She asked if I would consider a 3 bedroom and live together. At this time she was separated and needing to sell her house soon. So I bought a 3 bedroom condo and she paid me rent. The kids got one room (I had one, she had two, all boys!!!) and we each got the other two rooms. We worked opposite shifts for about 6 years and never had a problem. Never having childcare costs gave us both a secure financial future which can be hard to obtain when divorced. Whats odd is we didn't really have much in common at all! She was jewish, I'm (kind-of) catholic, I'm an athlete and shes a book worm, etc etc. We both kept a pretty clean house and were laid back parents and thats all it really took. Our kids were SO distraught when she got married a few years ago and moved out. My son still spends 2-3 nights with them.

What a wonderful story! Kate and Allie style!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this for ayears right after my divorce. I was a nurse and job shared with another single mom and we both needed to go full time because I was getting a divorce and she saw one coming down the road. We were both frightened by childcare costs and keeping a household running on a single income. We grabbed coffee one night and made a plan. We each went to full time and scheduled 3 (12) hour shifts opposite of each other and the other would watch the kids. (3-12's is considered a full time schedule in our field) This was the first layer of arrangement. Then about a year into it I finally sold my marital house and was looking for a condo/apartment. She asked if I would consider a 3 bedroom and live together. At this time she was separated and needing to sell her house soon. So I bought a 3 bedroom condo and she paid me rent. The kids got one room (I had one, she had two, all boys!!!) and we each got the other two rooms. We worked opposite shifts for about 6 years and never had a problem. Never having childcare costs gave us both a secure financial future which can be hard to obtain when divorced. Whats odd is we didn't really have much in common at all! She was jewish, I'm (kind-of) catholic, I'm an athlete and shes a book worm, etc etc. We both kept a pretty clean house and were laid back parents and thats all it really took. Our kids were SO distraught when she got married a few years ago and moved out. My son still spends 2-3 nights with them.

How did you handle dates? Overnight guests?

[Anonymous]

Great story 14:38!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this for ayears right after my divorce. I was a nurse and job shared with another single mom and we both needed to go full time because I was getting a divorce and she saw one coming down the road. We were both frightened by childcare costs and keeping a household running on a single income. We grabbed coffee one night and made a plan. We each went to full time and scheduled 3 (12) hour shifts opposite of each other and the other would watch the kids. (3-12's is considered a full time schedule in our field) This was the first layer of arrangement. Then about a year into it I finally sold my marital house and was looking for a condo/apartment. She asked if I would consider a 3 bedroom and live together. At this time she was separated and needing to sell her house soon. So I bought a 3 bedroom condo and she paid me rent. The kids got one room (I had one, she had two, all boys!!!) and we each got the other two rooms. We worked opposite shifts for about 6 years and never had a problem. Never having childcare costs gave us both a secure financial future which can be hard to obtain when divorced. Whats odd is we didn't really have much in common at all! She was jewish, I'm (kind-of) catholic, I'm an athlete and shes a book worm, etc etc. We both kept a pretty clean house and were laid back parents and thats all it really took. Our kids were SO distraught when she got married a few years ago and moved out. My son still spends 2-3 nights with them.

How did you handle dates? Overnight guests?

We both utilized dad time for dates and neither one of us had overnight guests..we would just stay at our boyfriends house when our kids were with their dads.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to everyone for sharing your comments. 14:38 your post was most encouraging. I will now start my quest. 13:53

[Anonymous]

I would never do this. I am self supporting adult and I don't need or want to live in a roommate situation anymore. But more importantly, my child deserves the stability of a home. Rooming with people is not stability. No kid should have random people living with them because there parent is afraid of being alone or too cheap to make the sacrifices necessary. And yes, I am a single mom, and I make less than 6 figures and live in the DC area. One kid, private school, since preschool now in high school and we even take vacations and my kid has a college fund!

[Anonymous]

Single mom here, struggling. I LOVE this idea! Thanks for sharing.