Sex stories being told at school

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grader came home today and told me (all red, giggly, and embarrassed) that his classmate told him that "he went under the slide with a girl, they took their clothes off, kissed, and he put his hand in her bottom and she put his penis in her mouth". I told my DS that that was a made up story and he knew that it was inappropriate. We'll talk a bit more about it when his younger brother isn't around, but I think he's more shocked than anything.

I'm pretty shocked, too, that an eight year old knows that much graphic detail. I know kids start really talking about sex at this age, but this seems extreme. Should I email the teacher and guidance counselor just to let them know the story is being told?

[Anonymous]

Just the teacher for now. I am betting his friend has an older sibling or close friend who Is telling stories.

[Anonymous]

Or walked in on parents or older sibling.

[Anonymous]

As a former school counselor this is ABSOLUTELY information I would have wanted to know- that would be the best way to find out if the story actually was made up. I think this situation is worth a phone call rather than an email.

[Anonymous]

Could be someone got ahold of a book or material at home. I was in 2nd grade and inadvertently picked up an explicit novel my aunt was reading.

Could be that they heard a teen relative bragging to a friend.

There are many accidental ways that a kid could come across this kind of information.

I think a call to the teacher is in order, but I wouldn't assume the worst.

[Anonymous]

Yes email the teacher it could very well be a true story

[Anonymous]

This is the OP- I emailed the teacher and GC last night, just to inform them about what was said. I left out specifics, but did tell them it was pretty graphic and specific for an 8 year old. The GC called me this morning for specific details and said she'd be talking to the kid and the parents. If I was the parent, I'd want to know. I feel sad for the kid. He's too young to know this kind of stuff.

[Anonymous]

I think kids are exposed to these things at a really young age. I was walking home with my son and in front of me was a trio of boys, they looked to be in 3rd or 4th grade. One of them asked the others "Have you seen porn?" and they started to talk about it. Except a few seconds later they realized I was right behind them. I tried to pretend that I didn't hear any of it, they seemed embarrassed about the whole thing. So they're learning about this stuff early on, I'm not sure where or how but it's happening.

[Anonymous]

I would tell the parent. They should know whats going on in with the child. Who knows what an older adult or sibbling is teaching them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just the teacher for now. I am betting his friend has an older sibling or close friend who Is telling stories.

Just the teacher? BS, tell the parents.

[Anonymous]

I'd let the teacher/school deal with telling the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let the teacher/school deal with telling the parents.

OP, much better to let the teacher/school handle it. Hearing it from another parent might have created a more volatile dynamic. It is a sensitive topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let the teacher/school deal with telling the parents.

OP, much better to let the teacher/school handle it. Hearing it from another parent might have created a more volatile dynamic. It is a sensitive topic.

m

The GC spoke to both the child and the child's parents. it was her place to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids are exposed to these things at a really young age. I was walking home with my son and in front of me was a trio of boys, they looked to be in 3rd or 4th grade. One of them asked the others "Have you seen porn?" and they started to talk about it. Except a few seconds later they realized I was right behind them. I tried to pretend that I didn't hear any of it, they seemed embarrassed about the whole thing. So they're learning about this stuff early on, I'm not sure where or how but it's happening.

When you give kids iPhones, iPads, computers or even tv's with internet access, they are naturally going to see/find things that are years ahead of them. It is such a shame that parents feel the safest thing to do for kids is give them phones when it is actually the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let the teacher/school deal with telling the parents.

OP, much better to let the teacher/school handle it. Hearing it from another parent might have created a more volatile dynamic. It is a sensitive topic.

m

The GC spoke to both the child and the child's parents. it was her place to do so.

OP, I was actually agreeing with you. I was responding to the other poster's comment that you should have called the parents yourself. I think that's absolutely the wrong thing to do, because the other parents may feel more defensive when another parent contacts them. There's probably going to be some level of defensiveness anyway, but school authorities have a bit more legitimacy in contacting a parent regarding a concern. Parent to parent communications over a fraught topic can too often devolve into completely unproductive conversations.