Starting IVF -- what helped you "prepare"?

[Anonymous]

I will begin IVF with ICSI in two months. At this point, I think I am a little overwhelmed with everything (the insurance issues, prescriptions, cycle plan, etc.).

In the past, I know someone recommended just to get to a "good place" before starting. Any other recommendations for preparing? I know a vacation is definitely in order, but any other advice? I'm also considering acupuncture just to de-stress and to help me through the cycle.

Also, in terms of ICSI, what has been the experience here? Does it typically result in a male versus female? No flames please (I'm just wondering).

Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

I've done 3 IVF cycles for 2 pregancies.

My best advice is two fold:
1) Continue living your normal life to the fullest around the IVF schedule. Go to the morning monitoring appointments and then forget about it for the rest of your day. Don't schedule your life (outside of out-of-town travel) around IVF but keep living as you normally would. This made the time fly by for me. I've found that friends who took the entire time off of work had a much more difficult time dealing with the stress (especially the stress of a negative).

2) Believe (!) that you will get pregnant at some point BUT realize that your first IVF cycle may not be the magic time. It may take two or more cycles. Start cycle 1 with the mental outlook that it might just be the first step in a longer journey. For many patients the first cycle (or 2) is more diagnostic than it is curative. Sometimes it takes a few to get it right. Having this outlook from the beginning helps immensely when things don't work right out of the gate.

As to acupuncture---I've done it will all my cycles because I really enjoy zoning out on a table for an hour while listening to quiet music (which both practitioners I've gone to have used). I'm still not convinced that the acupuncture is any more relaxing that any mid-day break would be. I've had both IVF success and failure while using accupuncture so I didn't find it to be the magic bullet so-to-speak.

As to ICSI---I think there is a very slim (like 52-48%) margin in favor of boys. I recall once finding a small (Italian, I believe?) study which concluded this.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I have done three IVF/ICSI cycles with one pregnancy (I had a girl). I'm in the process now (cycle #4) to try for a second child. I agree with everything the PP mentioned and would add something that I have really enjoyed- yoga. It has helped me in so many ways and who knows if it may have contributed to my success. I also did acupuncture and liked the relaxing effects of it but felt I get so much more out of yoga (and it is less expensive!).

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Stay busy -when I had a lot to do, I felt more in control of things (and you often feel as if there are so many factor beyond your control in IVF)

I would travel as much as possible before stimulation starts, and do any big projects around the house that you want done. Once on stim meds, women have a variety of reactions -from nothing to bloating, fatigue, etc.

Get in some exercise -even if it's simply walking outside a little every day.

Before IVF, I did all our housecleaning. We hired a cleaning lady for the months I cycled -having a clean house became one less thing to worry about.

I took a language class while doing IVF. All my classmates were guys, which turned out to be a blessed relief. That one night a week I was so far removed from "woman" stuff -it was great!!

Order your meds far in advance -that way you have them, and you know they are set to go.

Once things get started, just be prepared that the schedule might be tweaked -I had a cancelled cycle before my successful cycle. I truly thought the cancelled cycle was the end of the world -Go in knowing that happens sometime, and it's okay. They will change your protocol, and you will likely respond better next time. As PP said, be positive, but prepared that this time might not be the time that works for you.

Good luck, and stay positive. If you need some affirmation, you can always come back to the boards. Lots of success stories here -and many of us are always eager to encourage and cheer on.

[Anonymous]

I did ICSI & had a girl as well...

My piece of advice along the lines of the first respondent....

Think of the first IVF as a trial run that won't work...it is the anxiety over your expectations that is the worst....if it does work, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Be aware that every symptom during the 2 week window could either be a sign of pregnancy or just a side effect of the progesterone you have to take--so don't psych yourself out.

If you are on a stim med that burns while it goes in (menopur, etc), go slower in doing the shot, not faster...It seems counterintuitive, but the slower it goes in,m the less painful

ice your body before shots & you can heat it afterwards

If you do Progesterone in oil shots (some clinics do suppositories), warm it in your hands for a while first--it is less painful

The process & meds can make you moody & bitchy ...make sure your spouse knows this & is patient w/you

Find the humor in the ridiculousness of it all....(I will start an IVF humor thread)

[Anonymous]

My big thing was coming to the understanding that this was a complete paradigm shift from how we expected to get pregnant. I really had to allow myself to mourn the loss of control, in order to accept that I could get pregnant through IVF. The "science experiment leading to a child" seemed so foreign and unfair to me. I had to accept that this was my new reality, even though I didn't want it to be.

My silly advice: buy funny socks and never take them off during appointments. Somehow it helped me laugh at the utter ridiculousness of having an internal ultrasound before I even managed to eat breakfast.