How to handle aunt?

[Anonymous]

My aunt is in everyone's business.
My sister has severe mental issues, addiction issues. Probable personality disorders.
My twin and I no longer speak to her. She has done horrible things to us. My aunt called my twin and went on about how we should speak to sister because people in the community will find out we don't speak... They will talk behind our backs...Someone could die..... All this crap about forgiveness etc.
I'm going to see this aunt at a family event and I know she will probably say the same thing to me.


How do I handle this?

[Anonymous]

"Thanks." Then change the subject. Acknowledge without engaging in further discussion.

[Anonymous]

Turn around and walk away. 0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turn around and walk away. 0

Wouldn't that be rude?

[Anonymous]

Who cares if it's rude? The aunt is being rude herself.

[Anonymous]

I would say to aunt "There is more to the story then you know. We are doing the least toxic thing for us. You don't have to like it or approve, but it's not your choice. Please stop bringing it up, we are not changing our minds."

After you say that once, then you can start walking away when she brings it up. Me, if she brought it up again, I'd say "You've already been clear about your opinion. I've told you mine. I am not going to keep discussing something that is not about you with you." and THEN I'd walk away every time after.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to mind her own business and STFU.

[Anonymous]

Always have an escape plan.

(you aren't being held against your will)

[Anonymous]

I'd compile a list of non sequiturs to use every time she starts up on the topic.

Aunt: "I'm woried about your sister"

You: "I'm worried about Tom Brady"

Aunt: "people will talk!!"

You: "I'm tell you what people are talking about- that wacky Kardashian clan!"

Etc etc. Smile, offer to get her a drink or snacks, tell her you look forward to seeing her again..... And walk away.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate your concern, but I am doing what is best for me. It has been very painful and I would appreciate if you would not bring this matter up again It simply opens the sound and changes nothing. If she bring it up again, you politely remind her that you asked her not to bring it up again and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt is in everyone's business.
My sister has severe mental issues, addiction issues. Probable personality disorders.
My twin and I no longer speak to her. She has done horrible things to us. My aunt called my twin and went on about how we should speak to sister because people in the community will find out we don't speak... They will talk behind our backs...Someone could die..... All this crap about forgiveness etc.
I'm going to see this aunt at a family event and I know she will probably say the same thing to me.


How do I handle this?

Forgiving is not carp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt is in everyone's business.
My sister has severe mental issues, addiction issues. Probable personality disorders.
My twin and I no longer speak to her. She has done horrible things to us. My aunt called my twin and went on about how we should speak to sister because people in the community will find out we don't speak... They will talk behind our backs...Someone could die..... All this crap about forgiveness etc.
I'm going to see this aunt at a family event and I know she will probably say the same thing to me.


How do I handle this?[/quote
Forgiving is not crap.

[Anonymous]

Totally in your corner with this one.

Smile, say something non-committal, and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Don't justify yourself, just tell aunt that you do not care for her opinions on how you live your life. If that doesn't shut her up then just walk away.

[Anonymous]

Don't get into your reasons. The more you put up a fight about why you aren't speaking to your sister, the more your aunt sees it as a way to change your mind. Just say "I know you're concerned, but I'm doing what's best for me". After that, "I hear your concerns, but it's not up for discussion" and change the subject. IF she brings it up again "remember? not up for discussion! how is the potato salad?". Any other times don't even acknowledge she said something, just bring up something else. "Did you hear Bruce Jenner is a woman now?" etc etc etc.