my Sister is in an abusive marriage and she is a religious fanatic...

[Anonymous]

My sister is a Religious fanatic and is in an abusive marriage for over 23 years. She has an Autistic son -22yrs old and another son- 12yrs with allergy problems. Her husband has been treating her badly for years and he does not support her financially and wants her to work which she tried many times but had to quit because of the various demands of her kids. He refuses to help out and has pretty much cut her out of his life. She is like a maid for him. She believes he will change for good and therefore continues to pray fervently and listen to religious radio talk shows all the time.
She speaks only religion- every thing that she says has to have a Jesus , or blood of Jesus, and if we try to speak to her out of it, she screams and and calls us demons etc ., She has in the past, on our insistence, spoken to a counselor the church suggested and he managed to convince her to leave the abusive marriage. She almost signed the papers but changed her mind at the last minute as she believes she almost committed a sin.

I am concerned for the boys as the Autistic son is not able to comprehend much and has to listen to whatever she tells him to do.
My concern is that she needs to focus on raising her sons in a better environment and find resources to help her Autistic son to be independent,and she needs to be independent too.

Appreciate any suggestions to help her.
TIA

[Anonymous]

OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

Oh puh-lease! Just because someone is committed to a religious extreme means they're mentally ill? You atheists find funny ways to attack religion.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your sister found out her husband were committing adultery, would she leave him then? This is biblical grounds for divorce. Some Christians believe that viewing porn is a form of adultery. If he were doing this and she found out, she may be open to divorce.

Also, a note about abuse victims: a lot of times they are afraid of leaving, for one.reason or another. Sometimes they know the safest thing to do for the time being is to stay put, because the.abuser still has control. Omce the abuser no longer has control, they may go nuts and try to do serious harm. This is what happened to a woman in Ashburn last year, and her ex will face trial in July for her murder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

Oh puh-lease! Just because someone is committed to a religious extreme means they're mentally ill? You atheists find funny ways to attack religion.

I am deeply religious and have never screamed at my sister, calling her a demon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

Oh puh-lease! Just because someone is committed to a religious extreme means they're mentally ill? You atheists find funny ways to attack religion.

There is a very well documented correlation between religious fanaticism and mental illness. Don't be ignorant.

[Anonymous]

I think viewing porn when you're married is adultery and I'm not religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think viewing porn when you're married is adultery and I'm not religious.

Then I guess DH and I are in an "open marriage", because we both view porn and are fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

Oh puh-lease! Just because someone is committed to a religious extreme means they're mentally ill? You atheists find funny ways to attack religion.

You are joking right? I'm the pp, saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost and I know when someone sounds unbalanced. Just because the sister knows Christ does not mean she is not mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

OP, as usual on DCUM, things got sidetracked into issues that are not addressing your question.

You wrote, "She has in the past, on our insistence, spoken to a counselor the church suggested and he managed to convince her to leave the abusive marriage." She backed out, unfortunately. But if this worked once, is there ANY chance you can try this route again? Did someone in her church recognize that there is a real issue and would that someone be willing to approach her (probably has to do it without mentioning you prompted it) and say, "The church family is very concerned about you and your sons..."?

You are correct that her adult, autistic son really needs to be getting whatever will help him become an independent person. She will not be around forever to help him, and the dad sounds useless. Maybe focusing on the sons' needs will help, but it may have to come from the church if possible, or from someone else she trusts like an old friend (if they've stuck around and her husband hasn't worked to isolate her)-- and not from you or anyone in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like your sister may dealing with mental health issues. Do you think there is a way to go to see her Primary Care physician, start the ball rolling there to get her to seek some sort of mental health help?

Oh puh-lease! Just because someone is committed to a religious extreme means they're mentally ill? You atheists find funny ways to attack religion.

You are joking right? I'm the pp, saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost and I know when someone sounds unbalanced. Just because the sister knows Christ does not mean she is not mentally ill.

Look, I don't think sis is right AT ALL, but that doesn't mean she has an illness. At the least, she's been brainwashed. All victims of domestic abuse are to some extent.