Not getting into AAP - and being okay with it

[Anonymous]

My DC just found out about another friend who will leave to go to AAP. DC lost a lot of friends last year to the program, and now a neighbor is going. DC is really just on the "other side of the line" in terms of cutoff re: test scores. Strong GBRS. Wasn't in-pool last year; we parent-referred this year (due to a previous teacher's recommendation) and were denied. Frankly, I can't bring myself to pay $400 for a WISC. We could afford it. I just think it is ridiculous.

I am so frustrated at the loss of friends, the brain drain, and frankly, the nagging feeling that my kid might be missing out on a "better" education - whatever that might mean.

DC is probably fine at the current school, and consistently does well in academics (all 4's), and is in an immersion program. Lots of things going for DC.

Help me get over the hump of just feeling totally bummed out about it all.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. Maybe not what you want to hear, but might you just go ahead and do the Wisc, see what the results are and then appeal? You are at least giving yourself an option that way.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, OP, DD was not in GT, and far surpassed most of her center friends in high school-and college. Most of them were really bumbed out that they did not get into TJ.

That said, the friend issue is difficult. She will make new friends and have opportunities to shine in class that she might not have in AAP. She'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here. True, but at this point, I couldn't get the WISC done in time before appeals are due.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, OP, DD was not in GT, and far surpassed most of her center friends in high school-and college. Most of them were really bumbed out that they did not get into TJ.

That said, the friend issue is difficult. She will make new friends and have opportunities to shine in class that she might not have in AAP. She'll be fine.

OP here. DH always says that he wasn't in a GT program and he is doing fine (highly successful exec). I was a GT student though, in another local county, and am disappointed about missing out on the extracurricular opportunities for DC. Of course, I'm sure it isn't the same as it was 30 years ago...

[Anonymous]

I bet you could get the Wisc done. See this post: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/469572.page

[Anonymous]

Am I going to get anything useful out of doing the WISC other than, possibly, a score that would make DC eligible?

[Anonymous]

OP, you asked for advice, and it was given. Do the WISC already or go away.

[Anonymous]

I was a GT student though, in another local county, and am disappointed about missing out on the extracurricular opportunities for DC. Of course, I'm sure it isn't the same as it was 30 years ago...

Absolutely, not the same. There are plenty of extracurricular opportunities available for any child. She'll be fine. AAP is not a predictor of happiness or success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you asked for advice, and it was given. Do the WISC already or go away.

Wow, Bitch much?

NP here - I think she's looking for a little empathy - not necessarily to get her kid who is on the cusp into the program. I'm grateful I don't live in FFX, I think my kid would be in the same position (close but not AAP, with lots of friends who would be in AAP) and it just seems like a lot of upheaval that isn't necessary (socially, anyway). Best of luck to your kid, I'm sure they will make new friends but it is a bummer - also thinking that there are really cool opportunities that your kid may not get to take advantage of. I'm the same - I was in GT growing up where I lived and we did all sorts of great experiences that the other kids missed out on. Hopefully it's changed now and the base school he is in will have great opportunities as well, that he'll have a better chance of participating in, because he's near the top of the class.....

[Anonymous]

I was in Gifted/Talented and honors/AP classes from elementary until high school. When I went to college, I chose not to stay on the honors track because I was tired of going to all my classes with the same kids over and over. I wanted to get to know a broader range of people.

So I know you're disappointed, but now your daughter has a chance to get to know more people than she probably would in the AAP program. And if she's just below the AAP cutoff, she will probably shine in her classes, which will be great for her confidence. And her workload might be manageable enough for her to do some extracurriculars that she really enjoys without feeling time-pressured.

[Anonymous]

Immersion kids end up ahead of AAP kids in middle school!!
DO NOT TURN DOWN IMMERSION TO GO TO AAP.

My DC is currently taking two high school classes as a 7th grader. AAP kids are only eligible for ONE (if they test in).
Honors Algebra placement is based on SOL and Iowa basic test scores. It has NOTHING to do with AAP.

Also, as an immersion student you DC will be in be in Language I as a 7th grader.

Immersion is a life long skill. I can't say that about AAP.

There are plenty of AAP kids at my DC's middle school who laughed at me for turning down AAP to stay in immersion. Their kids are not taking ANY high school classes. My DC in "regular math" at immersion (expect it wasn't regular because it was taught in the target language) got the right SOLs and Iowas test scores.

Also, as a bonus, for the language my DCs are learning, college is free. (and acceptance is based on test scores, not quotas by high school)

[Anonymous]

You can get a Wisc done by Monday even earlier if need be. Just start calling around and expect to pay more for faster turn around.

[Anonymous]

OP, we found the WISC to be informative, apart from the AAP application process. It was interesting and helpful to see our children's strengths and weaknesses.

I have had three children in AAP and this is merely anecdotal based on observation of my kids' peers, but AAP starts to be a non-issue in middle school and by high school, I didn't see any appreciable advantage to having an AAP background.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can sympathize. It is hard on you and your DC - the social issue, I mean. My DD was in the same situation. We live in a center ES boundary. Every year in ES, one by one her friends that she naturally connected with moved to the AAP class while she remained in GE. We tried two times - once in 4th (an honest attempt) and then in 6th (an attempt to provide her the same choice for MS as her friends). Both times denied. DD still hung with her "AAP" group outside of school because they live in the same neighborhood.

After 6th, DD's friends all chose the MS AAP center. DD did not have that choice and attended Boundary MS. Hardest part for DD in MS was maintaining two groups of friends and also the fact that her AAP neighborhood group were together getting on the bus and at their school. She really felt left out, many tears spilled over this, but in my view she matured and did a great job balancing friendships between two groups. Not easy for girls in MS. Academically, she is doing great. Chose honors classes where she was academically strong, aced her grades all 4 semesters, and NJHS. Less intense, less stress and overall the right environment for an above average student. Really, I think MS completely relieved her of the AAP social pressure that existed at the center ES. DD was more confident in the smaller boundary MS than she would have been in the overcrowded center MS.

Now, in HS she is riding the bus with those same neighborhood friends and no one talks about AAP anymore - I mean not even part of their vocabulary. They are even in some of the same classes together (shock!). The social aspect sucks and is difficult during the MS years but they will survive it and do just fine not being in AAP if that is right for them. (And, you will be okay with it as well.)