Best Environment for My Toddler/Preschooler

[Anonymous]

DS is almost 3. He is currently at a play based day care that uses the Creative Curriculum. The teachers are all very nice, but I haven't observed a lot of structure. The kids have options for what they want to do most of the time. Meaning when teachers are doing crafts at the table with kids, children may choose to go play at the train table or in the kitchen area and not participate. It isn't mandatory. There are two circle times when all kids sit together, but the rest of the time, it seems like they can choose whether they'd like to participate or not. I feel like there should be more structure and order, children should do the group activity, and more direction rather than asking "what would you like to do today?"

I need full time care, so what are my options? Is the Montessori environment better? Something else?

I'm in Kensington and would be willing to take him to Bethesda, Chevy Chase or NW DC.

[Anonymous]

That is the trend in preschools now - things are choice and play based. Why limit your child to something structured when he is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life?

[Anonymous]

I am a big fan of Montessori but I don't think the specific concerns you have with your current school will be solved by switching to Montessori.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on your child and your goals for having him in day care. A ton of parents would rather their 3yo's play most of the day. Some kids thrive on direction and order. Is your child comfortable there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is the trend in preschools now - things are choice and play based. Why limit your child to something structured when he is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life?

I feel like boys especially need structure and discipline. At home, he expects the same choices and to play all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a big fan of Montessori but I don't think the specific concerns you have with your current school will be solved by switching to Montessori.

Montessori seems so orderly though and don't they all have to complete the "work"? You can't walk off and do something different, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the trend in preschools now - things are choice and play based. Why limit your child to something structured when he is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life?

I feel like boys especially need structure and discipline. At home, he expects the same choices and to play all the time.

My son is at a Montessori school, gets to choose his own activities, and actually behaves much better at school than at home. So I think you're probably blaming the school for things it doesn't have anything to do with. I also think about 80 posters are going to tell you that in fact it is a good thing if a 3 year old boy plays all the time.

But if that's really not what you want, I don't think either a different play-based school or a Montessori is going to make you much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on your child and your goals for having him in day care. A ton of parents would rather their 3yo's play most of the day. Some kids thrive on direction and order. Is your child comfortable there?

He is on the shy side and it takes him a bit of time to warm up each morning, but he definitely likes to play and has buddies. There have been several incidents where kids have hit him (there are some aggressive boys) and the teachers have a hard time getting him to say who did it or state what is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a big fan of Montessori but I don't think the specific concerns you have with your current school will be solved by switching to Montessori.

Montessori seems so orderly though and don't they all have to complete the "work"? You can't walk off and do something different, right?

Yes, I think the work is very thoughtfully-designed. But the kids get to choose what work they are doing. And generally if they stop in the middle, the only thing the teacher is going to insist that they do is clean up after themselves. There are exceptions for the time the teacher is introducing a new activity one on one. Then the child must sit there and watch the demonstration. But generally speaking, if you observe a Montessori classroom, it is going to look a whole lot like individual kids or small groups of kids doing whatever the heck they want, and it doesn't sound like you'd be comfortable in that environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the trend in preschools now - things are choice and play based. Why limit your child to something structured when he is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life?

I feel like boys especially need structure and discipline. At home, he expects the same choices and to play all the time.

My son is at a Montessori school, gets to choose his own activities, and actually behaves much better at school than at home. So I think you're probably blaming the school for things it doesn't have anything to do with. I also think about 80 posters are going to tell you that in fact it is a good thing if a 3 year old boy plays all the time.

But if that's really not what you want, I don't think either a different play-based school or a Montessori is going to make you much happier.

I thought Montessori didn't have as much "play" time? And I like that they are learning letters, math, doing experiments, etc. A couple even offer foreign language. Isn't there order to the day and more independence? I've certainly never seen train tables and play kitchens in schools I've visited. Not that those are bad, but he has those at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the trend in preschools now - things are choice and play based. Why limit your child to something structured when he is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life?

I feel like boys especially need structure and discipline. At home, he expects the same choices and to play all the time.

My son is at a Montessori school, gets to choose his own activities, and actually behaves much better at school than at home. So I think you're probably blaming the school for things it doesn't have anything to do with. I also think about 80 posters are going to tell you that in fact it is a good thing if a 3 year old boy plays all the time.

But if that's really not what you want, I don't think either a different play-based school or a Montessori is going to make you much happier.

I thought Montessori didn't have as much "play" time? And I like that they are learning letters, math, doing experiments, etc. A couple even offer foreign language. Isn't there order to the day and more independence? I've certainly never seen train tables and play kitchens in schools I've visited. Not that those are bad, but he has those at home.

Yes, I think the academics are very good. Very roughly speaking a typical day at my son's school:

Circle time: kids discuss topics together as a whole group
Morning work time: most of the kids choose whatever activity they want to do; a subset are working with the teachers who are demonstrating a new activity
Some kind of resource component: there is a nature program, an art program, etc.
Lunch as a group
Younger kids nap, older kids to more advanced work. Similar to morning work, but the work is harder and there is a better teacher-student ratio so there is more one-on-one instruction
Some time on the playground or in the gym

I am not trying to sell Montessori short because I think its great. At my son's school, virtually every kid, by the time they have finished pre-school, has already hit all the benchmarks that DCPS at least uses to determine whether a kindergartener is ready to move to first grade. I also think they seem socially well-adjusted and have strong practical life skills. My only point for you is that your son's activities during work time are still going to seem very self-directed. He might play with the long division toy or he might sit in the corner banging on a drum for an hour. That will still be kinda up to him, so you need to be ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, Montessori won't have dramatic play things (kitchens and train tables) BUT they WILL NOT REQUIRE that he do anything specific at any one time. In fact, the hallmark of a Montessori is long periods of time when children can maintain focus on their "work" (work is an activity or activities that the children choose for themselves - it's not like kids are on a chain gang at 3 yr old).

so what you'll see when you visit is what a PP said "children moving around the classroom independently doing their thing - they will need to complete an activity by cleaning up before they move on to the next one - but they won't be forced to do anything specific all day. So that means that your child could choose to do the map puzzles all day, every day. Or could choose to do the tong and balls into muffin tins activity every.single.day.

And that's ok, because if he's doing that then he's still working on those skills, has that interest, etc. And of course, he won't choose to do that all day. He'll choose other things.

And.... he will do that at the play based preschool where he goes now. When children are in the block area they are learning oh, so many math and science skills including units (2 squares make a rectangle, 2 medium rectangles are the same as 1 long rectangle, etc), balance, equal and unequal, sorting (squares vs. triangles), progressing on a goal to get something accomplished, etc. If he's working with other children in the block area, then he's also working on social skills as he negotiates building something, figuring out where blocks go, arguing, discussing and deciding how to build it, how to accommodate other children's thoughts and ideas, how to share time, space and blocks, etc. Also he's learning the fine and gross motor skills which are critical to writing later.

In the art area he's learning how colors blend, how to hold a marker, how to write his name, how paint, crayons, markers, finger paint, playdough utensils, playdough and paintbrushes work. This builds dexterity and hand strength, important for eventual writing and school work.

In the dramatic play area he is working with others, negotiating ideas, plans, using language to do all this, taking turns, developing high level thinking as they decide that they are "building a plane so we can go to China - it's far away so we need to pack some food and our pillows. And we've bought these 5 items at the store to take with us" and the like. If he's using dramatic play clothing, then he's also transforming himself into someone else, using fine motor skills to get the clothing on and off (and they are more motivated to do this with dramatic play clothing than getting dressed in the morning, LOL)

A good play based preschool will set your child up to learn all he needs to know to be successful in Kindergarten. Also a good montessori program will do the same thing, although in a different way.

I'm the director of a play based program, and have researched Montessori as well. In my view, an important aspect of preschool (whether half day or full day) is the social development that children will eventually need for success in school and life. they must be able to wait their turn, stick up for themselves, regulate their emotions, impulses, be able to work together with others to achieve a goal, stay focused on a goal among lots of distractions, get along well with others, be a good friend, learn how to communicate and how to listen, and so much more!

To learn pre-math skills, you might see legos, magnet tiles, setting the table for snack or lunch (one to one correspondence as a child places one plate, cup, etc. in front of each chair, or lunchbox at each chair), books that use number language like more than, less than, counting up and down (100 Hundred Hungry Ants is a great book for this, but there are countless others), etc. When they are using manipulatives such as legos, tiles, connectors, mobilos, pattern blocks, stringing beads, and/or puzzles they are learning about sets (as they sort colors, shapes, etc), seriating (largest to smallest, first to last), how things can be part of a whole (these are all legos, just different colors, or all these items are red but some are legos, pattern blocks, beads, etc) - part/whole relationships are important.

Honestly, children are learning a lot as they "just play all day" - but you should see that teachers have a developed plan for the day/week/month. They shoudln't just let the kids scrabbling around - but rather the teachers will set up themes or projects or investigations that will engage the children - it's spring, so are they planting?

Planting is wonderful science and math and reading and writing opportunities as they read books about the Little Seed, plant a seed, watch it grow, harvest the cucumbers or flowers, dictate stories about the drawings they do of flowers, plants, etc.

So see/ask how the teachers design their day, design the activities they choose, etc. If you aren't satisfied at this preschool you might be at another where there seems to be more of a plan, although it's still play based.

I'm sorry, some of this is stream of consciousness so it may not be as organized as I'd wish... but you get the drift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, Montessori won't have dramatic play things (kitchens and train tables) BUT they WILL NOT REQUIRE that he do anything specific at any one time. In fact, the hallmark of a Montessori is long periods of time when children can maintain focus on their "work" (work is an activity or activities that the children choose for themselves - it's not like kids are on a chain gang at 3 yr old).

so what you'll see when you visit is what a PP said "children moving around the classroom independently doing their thing - they will need to complete an activity by cleaning up before they move on to the next one - but they won't be forced to do anything specific all day. So that means that your child could choose to do the map puzzles all day, every day. Or could choose to do the tong and balls into muffin tins activity every.single.day.

And that's ok, because if he's doing that then he's still working on those skills, has that interest, etc. And of course, he won't choose to do that all day. He'll choose other things.

And.... he will do that at the play based preschool where he goes now. When children are in the block area they are learning oh, so many math and science skills including units (2 squares make a rectangle, 2 medium rectangles are the same as 1 long rectangle, etc), balance, equal and unequal, sorting (squares vs. triangles), progressing on a goal to get something accomplished, etc. If he's working with other children in the block area, then he's also working on social skills as he negotiates building something, figuring out where blocks go, arguing, discussing and deciding how to build it, how to accommodate other children's thoughts and ideas, how to share time, space and blocks, etc. Also he's learning the fine and gross motor skills which are critical to writing later.

In the art area he's learning how colors blend, how to hold a marker, how to write his name, how paint, crayons, markers, finger paint, playdough utensils, playdough and paintbrushes work. This builds dexterity and hand strength, important for eventual writing and school work.

In the dramatic play area he is working with others, negotiating ideas, plans, using language to do all this, taking turns, developing high level thinking as they decide that they are "building a plane so we can go to China - it's far away so we need to pack some food and our pillows. And we've bought these 5 items at the store to take with us" and the like. If he's using dramatic play clothing, then he's also transforming himself into someone else, using fine motor skills to get the clothing on and off (and they are more motivated to do this with dramatic play clothing than getting dressed in the morning, LOL)

A good play based preschool will set your child up to learn all he needs to know to be successful in Kindergarten. Also a good montessori program will do the same thing, although in a different way.

I'm the director of a play based program, and have researched Montessori as well. In my view, an important aspect of preschool (whether half day or full day) is the social development that children will eventually need for success in school and life. they must be able to wait their turn, stick up for themselves, regulate their emotions, impulses, be able to work together with others to achieve a goal, stay focused on a goal among lots of distractions, get along well with others, be a good friend, learn how to communicate and how to listen, and so much more!

To learn pre-math skills, you might see legos, magnet tiles, setting the table for snack or lunch (one to one correspondence as a child places one plate, cup, etc. in front of each chair, or lunchbox at each chair), books that use number language like more than, less than, counting up and down (100 Hundred Hungry Ants is a great book for this, but there are countless others), etc. When they are using manipulatives such as legos, tiles, connectors, mobilos, pattern blocks, stringing beads, and/or puzzles they are learning about sets (as they sort colors, shapes, etc), seriating (largest to smallest, first to last), how things can be part of a whole (these are all legos, just different colors, or all these items are red but some are legos, pattern blocks, beads, etc) - part/whole relationships are important.

Honestly, children are learning a lot as they "just play all day" - but you should see that teachers have a developed plan for the day/week/month. They shoudln't just let the kids scrabbling around - but rather the teachers will set up themes or projects or investigations that will engage the children - it's spring, so are they planting?

Planting is wonderful science and math and reading and writing opportunities as they read books about the Little Seed, plant a seed, watch it grow, harvest the cucumbers or flowers, dictate stories about the drawings they do of flowers, plants, etc.

So see/ask how the teachers design their day, design the activities they choose, etc. If you aren't satisfied at this preschool you might be at another where there seems to be more of a plan, although it's still play based.

I'm sorry, some of this is stream of consciousness so it may not be as organized as I'd wish... but you get the drift.

Thank you, this is extremely helpful! I guess what I'd like to see is all of the kids sitting down for craft time, or planting, or whatever activity there is so that they learn to participate as a group. When the teacher is doing crafts, I've seen a couple of kids in the play kitchen and my own son playing at the train table and the teacher doesn't try to get them all to sit down to do the craft. She focuses on the kids doing the crafts and the other kids are on their own or with the teaching aid. I've also observed that this sometimes leads to kids fighting or just being mischievous and being more engaged would help with that (I think). Obviously, I'm not there all day, but I've picked up or dropped off my son at different times of the day and also volunteered in the room. If this isn't the norm for play based programs, maybe I should look at others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a big fan of Montessori but I don't think the specific concerns you have with your current school will be solved by switching to Montessori.

Montessori seems so orderly though and don't they all have to complete the "work"? You can't walk off and do something different, right?

Yes, I think the work is very thoughtfully-designed. But the kids get to choose what work they are doing. And generally if they stop in the middle, the only thing the teacher is going to insist that they do is clean up after themselves. There are exceptions for the time the teacher is introducing a new activity one on one. Then the child must sit there and watch the demonstration. But generally speaking, if you observe a Montessori classroom, it is going to look a whole lot like individual kids or small groups of kids doing whatever the heck they want, and it doesn't sound like you'd be comfortable in that environment.

Not all Montessori schools are the same. The name isn't trademarked. Anyone can call their school Montessori. We looked into a "hard core" Montessori school in our town and didn't end up there because there was no time allotted for imaginary play, and the children there didn't get to choose their work. They were expected to complete each station, every day. No playground time if you didn't finish your work. All Montessori schools aren't like this - it's important to check them out in person and ask lots of questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a big fan of Montessori but I don't think the specific concerns you have with your current school will be solved by switching to Montessori.

Montessori seems so orderly though and don't they all have to complete the "work"? You can't walk off and do something different, right?

Yes, I think the work is very thoughtfully-designed. But the kids get to choose what work they are doing. And generally if they stop in the middle, the only thing the teacher is going to insist that they do is clean up after themselves. There are exceptions for the time the teacher is introducing a new activity one on one. Then the child must sit there and watch the demonstration. But generally speaking, if you observe a Montessori classroom, it is going to look a whole lot like individual kids or small groups of kids doing whatever the heck they want, and it doesn't sound like you'd be comfortable in that environment.

Not all Montessori schools are the same. The name isn't trademarked. Anyone can call their school Montessori. We looked into a "hard core" Montessori school in our town and didn't end up there because there was no time allotted for imaginary play, and the children there didn't get to choose their work. They were expected to complete each station, every day. No playground time if you didn't finish your work. All Montessori schools aren't like this - it's important to check them out in person and ask lots of questions.

Any accredited Montessori will not allow imaginary play. Maria Montessori did not believe in imaginary play as being useful or helpful for little ones. This ford against all the brain research that has been done recently, which shows that imaginary play is critical for the development of empathy, executive function, and creative problem-solving. this is why we didn't send our DC to Montessori, while loving most other aspects of the pedagogy.