Please help.
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Anonymous
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My son is almost 3.5, was six weeks early, and has had delays - right now, fine motor and maybe some speech but it seems like it's pretty much within normal range. I am losing my mind with his behavior. He has always thrown things, everything all the time - what can this be? Is it a tic? We saw a dev ped recently and she just noted the fine motor delay. Said no autistic tendencies and cognitive skills are in range taking account the fine motor delay. He's doing ot and we are going to start twice a week.
It's the impulse control that is just starting to drive me mad. If he walks into a room and there is a toy on the table, he has to throw it. Then he just stars throwing everything. Time outs do nothing. Ask, He has to pour out water. He has to hit the dog. He will not listen or obey anyone. His receptive language is apparently fine. He can't sit still for even a second and everyone has noted his short attention span. He won't dress himself and we are having major difficultly potty training. I can't leave him alone still in a room for even one second. He grabs rhings and smashes them and pours them out. I will bring this all up with the ot and with our dev ped at our next appointment but what does this sound like? Severe adhd? When can I get him evaluated for that? Isn't it way too early? I'm just not sure what even to do in the meantime. I'm losing my mind as noted and so is my nanny. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP, no it isn't way too early. You are on the right track with the dev ped and the OT. See what they say. Maybe get a second opinion from a different dev ped about the impulse control, if the first one isn't taking it seriously.
You are doing the right things! Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| I would get a second opinion from another developmental pediatrician. |
Anonymous
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What would you get a second opinion about - the impulse control? She just said to follow up, noted that it was a concern. I'm sure she will agree that there is an issue. I really don't see asd because he has constant joint attentiom always - too much watch me, stay, sit, etc., and plays with kids. But seriously - I'm at the end of my patience rope and I'm just so cranky now. Not the mom I want to be.
If it is adhd what can we do now? Therapy wise? And who would diagnose? |
Anonymous
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My son is 4 years old and goes through periods like this as well although it's not all the time. He has significant fine motor delays and some speech delays
My son is a sensory seeker. Sounds like yours is as well. Has OT given you any tools - speo, z vibe, chewy tube, sensory table etc to help give him the input he needs? My son used to repeatedly run himself into walls and doors just to get the input. Now I use some of these tools and he's more manageable. My son was a nightmare to potty train. It sent his sensory issues and impulsivity through the roof. |
Anonymous
| You could try CBT, social stories, and martial arts--little ninja type classes. Lots of exercise and a good diet. My son had some similar tendencies but is much better now at almost 7. |
Anonymous
| Also, read the Kazdin Method. Good luck! |
Anonymous
I have and I'm having a hard time implementing it. For example, the whole don't throw everything! I guess rhe positive opposite would be play nicely? Calmly? Argh. |
Anonymous
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Have the nanny get him outside first thing in the morning for hours. Several hours every day, first thing.
Lots of throwing balls at the playground, lots of activity and sensory input. |
Anonymous
| I would video him during these behaviors to show to the doctor. |
Anonymous
What do you do on preschool days? The whole rushing thing doesn't help him. |
Anonymous
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Dumb question, but is he doing these things aggressively or just doing them? Does that make sense... My son would get upset (and we had no idea why or that is was coming) and just start throwing toys etc.. it was strange but we somehow got it under control with continuous time outs, removal of toys when they were thrown etc.
We also found that his episodes like this were way worse and more frequent after he had eaten food coloring. Not sure why.. I haven't researched food dyes all that much. We just eliminated them and saw immediate results. |
Anonymous
Both. He just does them, like he has no control, and then when there is a time out, etc., he does it even more. |
Anonymous
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OP, he reminds me of my son at that age. I never did time outs - when it's impulse control, it takes maturity to gain control of it and a 3 year old doesn't have it. But, when my son got really wound up, I would sit on the floor, put him in my lap, roll his knees up to his chest, wrap his arms around his legs, wrap my arms around him and just rock him calm.
As far as not dressing himself, I just continued to dress my son instead of expecting something he wasn't capable of doing. The other thing is a lot of prevention. You can probably look at a room and know exactly what your son will get into - don't give him the opportunity. Move things, hold his hand, if he is small enough, hold him, give him things to distract him. For many years, my son was exhausting to parent. I won't even tell you the things he did because it would make your head spin. But, it did get better. When he was about 9 he was capable of doing gymnastics and martial arts (though it was a trick to find the right places to work with him). At age 8, his medical problems resolved to the point where we could used ADHD medication. Now as a teen, he recognizes that he needs to exercise control and he has the maturity to do it. Oh, if you're wondering, my son was diagnosed initially with global developmental delays, ADHD and fetal alcohol syndrome (I adopted him knowing everything but the ADHD and the feeding issues). He got OT, SLT, feeding therapy, cognitive therapy and education therapy. The developmental delays are the only thing that resolved. |
Anonymous
Most preschools are over in a week or two. What do you mean by the "whole rushing thing"? |