Vent: Fed up with family

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was young and was completely oblivious to all the family drama around me. I miss those days. Parents, inlaws, and a never ending stream of issues- depression, ocd, hypochondria, borderline personality disorders, eating disorders, drug addiction... I'm so done. I wish everyone could just get their shit together and be healthy. It's fucking overwhelming. I used to be a compassionate empathic person. But now I'm sucked dry, and now I just feel angry and unable to tolerate anyone else's crazy thoughts and behaviors.

I have built up walls around me between my parents and inlaws. It has helped me. But I am still angry. Vent over.

[Anonymous]

Boundaries are good. Don't own their issues. You need to just take care of yourself and your kids. That's it.

If you need support, try Al-Anon - it works.

[Anonymous]

and dont let their drama stay rent free playing over and over in your head on repeat - shut it off.

[Anonymous]

Me too, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and dont let their drama stay rent free playing over and over in your head on repeat - shut it off.

How do you do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and dont let their drama stay rent free playing over and over in your head on repeat - shut it off.

How do you do that?

Not the PP but for me, I just embrace my family for who they are. I don't take their problems home with me. You pitch in only when one of the kids need something. I see them often but in small doses - an evening or just one overnight and leave in the morning.

They're never going to be like me and I wouldn't ever let them watch my kids. But they all have some great qualities and I appreciate them for who they are.

[Anonymous]

We all go through these periods when it all comes to a head and you just want to be done with it. Give yourself a break, take a time-out from the relatives. They'll be OK until you recharge. In the meantime figure out how these situations can work better for YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember when I was young and was completely oblivious to all the family drama around me. I miss those days. Parents, inlaws, and a never ending stream of issues- depression, ocd, hypochondria, borderline personality disorders, eating disorders, drug addiction... I'm so done. I wish everyone could just get their shit together and be healthy. It's fucking overwhelming. I used to be a compassionate empathic person. But now I'm sucked dry, and now I just feel angry and unable to tolerate anyone else's crazy thoughts and behaviors.

I have built up walls around me between my parents and inlaws. It has helped me. But I am still angry. Vent over.

I hope for your sake you can move from anger to dispassionate. It's a much better place and allows for better contact and relationships as a result.

[Anonymous]

It only works if the damn drunk wants the help. Meanwhile, the family, friends and supporters are fed up with it all.

If he doesn't care that he'll run the risk of another stroke, maybe the next one will just put him out of his misery and he'll just die.

The damn drunk had to be taken off the Pradaxa blood thinners because his alcohol consumption could lead to greater internal bleeding, if he doesn't care, neither do we.

[Anonymous]

I work 2 jobs and now I have spent my only 2 days off over the past 2 weeks attending al-anon meetings.

I'm done. My plate runneth over and I don't need more shit like alcoholism of a family member on my plate.

Not my problem and I refuse to allow his problems to land on my plate. He's 62 years old and needs to grow up. I'll keep my money separate from his and let him drink his.

[Anonymous]

Remember you can't fix/solve others' problems. Nor should you make them your own. Offer support and advice, but don't sacrifice yourself.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight. Others in your family have issues, but you are a bastion of sanity who never ever creates drama, hurts anyone's feelings, or oversteps boundaries. Snort. Why does this remind me of what my borderline mother is constantly claiming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me get this straight. Others in your family have issues, but you are a bastion of sanity who never ever creates drama, hurts anyone's feelings, or oversteps boundaries. Snort. Why does this remind me of what my borderline mother is constantly claiming?

It's the manipulator, liar, anger-prone, not so nice person who uses "well everyone's like this a little bit" to justify their actions and explain it away as something all people just do sometimes. But that's just not true.

Not OP, but many people are actually bastions of drama-free normalcy. They really are. Not everyone's mentally messed up or harms others.

OP, I hear ya. It's really exhausting sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me get this straight. Others in your family have issues, but you are a bastion of sanity who never ever creates drama, hurts anyone's feelings, or oversteps boundaries. Snort. Why does this remind me of what my borderline mother is constantly claiming?

It's the manipulator, liar, anger-prone, not so nice person who uses "well everyone's like this a little bit" to justify their actions and explain it away as something all people just do sometimes. But that's just not true.

Not OP, but many people are actually bastions of drama-free normalcy. They really are. Not everyone's mentally messed up or harms others.

OP, I hear ya. It's really exhausting sometimes.

Why look at two extremes?

I think it's okay to be in the middle, to accept that being in a family means there's going to be some drama, and to accept that, yeah, you do play a role in it. That's not mental illness.