Therapist recommendations

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have any recommendations of therapists to help parents cope with having a special needs child? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

My heart goes out to whoever wrote this. When my daughter was born and became ill I practically had a nervous breakdown. I didn't eat, sleep, cried all day. I was so overwhelmed with all the appointments and a vision I concocted of what my life would be like. I did go to see a therapist, but no one I would recommend to you. She basically said to me, "you were dealt a bad lot and do you really want one more appointment to add to your already full schedule." I said, no, I guess you're right. I suspect there are better techniques out there than telling someone, "you have every right to be depressed!."

My advice, now that I am four years into this is to talk to parents with older children. They may have better coping suggestions than a therapist. I have absolutely no idea what your situation is, so I can't be more specific, but I hope you find someone good to talk to and I hope you have a loving family to support you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I recently posted in the Off topic section about trying to find a therapist as well. I got some recommendations for psychologists. Still haven't found one close enough to my location. The reason I need someone close enough is that I have become very anxious to drive on freeways. Sad, isn't it? So yes, needless to say, I am in the same boat.

PP, my heart goes out to you as well. I was crushed when my child was born and struggling to stay alive. I went from being a very happy (the happiest I have been in my life) confident pregnant woman to a traumatized mother of a child with special needs. I remember going through many stages, first being disappointed that he would not come home after 2 days, then realizing that he was in critical condition and that the outcome was uncertain. I never got over this, and my child is 4 now. I have spent the past 4 years running to therapists, getting him into a good program and making sure he stays alive. (I know this sounds odd, but my child has no perception of danger, I cannot count the many times he would have burned down the house, fallen out of a 2nd floor window, jumped down from high surfaces, gotten run over by cars, stab himself, eaten poisionous things etc. ) People often wonder about how much I watch him, but then are amazed when they realize I am just trying to stay one step ahead of him. I don't feel strong, some days I am just trying to function as best as I can and remind myself that there are others out there who have it even worse than me and I am grateful that he is alive.

Hang in there, everyone. I know it's easier sad than done. I get some of my hope and energy from these small accomplishments my child makes on a daily basis. I think one of the hardest thing is the feeling of lack of validation.

[Anonymous]

I unfortunately also cannot recommend a therapist, as over the years I have considered seeking 'help' when things got over my head when raising my child with special needs. My child's condition (probably like all of our children's) has its high points and then setbacks. And of course during these setbacks I become frustrated, sad, and very worried about my child's future. I HATE how insurance companies and the medical industry puts in so many roadblocks for psychiatry and psychology. I know that I have one of the best insurance plans in the area, yet I still cannot afford the outrageous co-pay needed to see a therapist on a weekly basis--on top of having to pay co-pays for my child's therapies, which of course take priority. The therapists I've researched and found are not accepting new patients, are not accepting any insurance, or are not in my opinion qualified to deal with my 'issues'. All this to say that I understand what you're doing through, OP, and you are definitely not alone. What I've done is start a little parent support group of other parents whose kids have similar issues to mine. Is this a possibility? Just meeting up with these parents, or even just calling one of them up on the phone when I need to talk things through, or even just vent or cry, has helped tremendously. If you're comfortable sharing your child's diagnosis or concerns, maybe one of us can connect you with other parents going through similar issues.

[Anonymous]

Hi - I'm the OP, and I really appreciate your lovely responses. I have resisted, until now, considering therapy because I've frankly doubted the ability of a professional to say anything that will make me feel better about this incredibly unfair situation we've been dealt. However, almost two years into this "process" I still find that I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it emotionally, so I thought it might be worth a try. I have to say, though, that I'm not surprised by any of the responses, as you all have echoed my own misgivings about therapy. I don't know if a support group is for me - I find it really helpful and wonderful to connect with parents one-on-one, but would not be comfortable going to "formal" meetings. In terms of my child's specifics, he is three and has sensory and motor planning deficiencies, and certain autistic tendencies (repetitive behavior, etc.) but is social and engaged. He's made great progress since we started his interventions but, as you all know, every day is different and sometimes I find it literally impossible to deal. Thankfully I have a wonderful, supportive family and the means to provide my son help, so I realize it could be a great deal worse. But I still feel overwhelmed, horribly sad, and exhausted much of the time and thought there might be someone who could help me. Thanks again to all of you who responded - it helps even to know that you all are supportive (even if I don't know you)!

[Anonymous]

OP, I am one of the PPs. I have two children with these issues, one diagnosed autistic, the other is pending. If you ever feel like talking one-on-one let me know, I can give you my email address! And yes, it can be so draining to deal with it every day. It is also very isolating at times. Or if you ever want a non-judgemental play date, let me know, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi - I'm the OP, and I really appreciate your lovely responses. I have resisted, until now, considering therapy because I've frankly doubted the ability of a professional to say anything that will make me feel better about this incredibly unfair situation we've been dealt. However, almost two years into this "process" I still find that I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it emotionally, so I thought it might be worth a try. I have to say, though, that I'm not surprised by any of the responses, as you all have echoed my own misgivings about therapy. I don't know if a support group is for me - I find it really helpful and wonderful to connect with parents one-on-one, but would not be comfortable going to "formal" meetings. In terms of my child's specifics, he is three and has sensory and motor planning deficiencies, and certain autistic tendencies (repetitive behavior, etc.) but is social and engaged. He's made great progress since we started his interventions but, as you all know, every day is different and sometimes I find it literally impossible to deal. Thankfully I have a wonderful, supportive family and the means to provide my son help, so I realize it could be a great deal worse. But I still feel overwhelmed, horribly sad, and exhausted much of the time and thought there might be someone who could help me. Thanks again to all of you who responded - it helps even to know that you all are supportive (even if I don't know you)!

Your son sounds very similar to mine, only mine is 4.5 yrs old (though about 3 and change, developmentally). The only way I have survived the past four years is because I have a close friend whose daughter is 6.5 yrs old and has the same symptoms as my son. Without her to understand what I am going through and how hard this whole thing is, I think I would have gone off the deep end. Feel free to email off list if you would like: [e-mail]. We all go through stronger and weaker phases along the continuum of how we are doing about our children with SN, and I think it's important that we all as a spec needs community - whether we know each other or not - provide support when we are feeling stronger and seek support when we are feeling more precarious.

[Anonymous]

I love the PP who offered the non judgmental playdates! My daughter is 4.5 and has never had a spectrum diagnosis but some people have wondered aloud to us about PDD NOS, although like I said, so far, no one has labeled her. We are constantly told we need to do more playdates but its hard to find people. My daughter is actually pretty good with one on one playdates. But honestly, its always me doing the inviting. We don't get invited over a whole lot, and I'm sure its because when I'm not there to model behavior, my daughter plays by herself in the corner. I don't want to constantly throw my daughter into settings with new kids but if anyone has any advice for finding a good playdate fit,I'd love to hear suggestions.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP who offered non-judgmental playdates. Anyone interested, please email me! I was just told that my second child needed to have more playdates in order to enhance her social behavior (all that while she sat on the doc's lap cheerfully engaging with her) , so we are in the market for more understanding people. Both my kids love to have friends over, and my house is a child friendly house, meaning if your child finds a marker and tries to write his/her name on my walls, I won't freak out

We all go through a lot of heartache when we try to steer our kids through life, and sometimes it is very painful to do so amongst "regular" functioning kids. Diagnosis or not, special needs kids are challenging. I just found out we may be in for the long run with child #2 as well, which came as a shock. But there are so many of us out there that I would love to give it a try and set up a circle of understanding friends.

[e-mail] (yes, I set it up just for this purpose) We are in DC.

[Anonymous]

Mom of daughter with CP here. My perspective is this. I have not gone into therapy for my daughter's special needs, but have been in quite a lot of therapy during my life. If I were to go into therapy for my daughter's diagnosis, and I have given this consideration from time to time, I would probably return to one of my therapists that I have seen before, rather than seeking out a "special needs therapist." Why? A good therapist is a good therapist. They help you through the issues no matter what they are. They get at what's bothering you and get you to work through it.

So I would post asking for some good therapists that take your insurance, are local, etc.

[Anonymous]

one of the PPs who have asked for therapist recs on this board before. I have tried that and only gotten very few responses, most of which did not take my insurance or were close by. So I am still looking. I think that it is fair to say that I have "issues" that go beyond my children's special needs. But having special needs children make it more crucial to be fully "functional" because they are very demanding and I am responsible to ensure that they get the best intervention possible.

[Anonymous]

I am a parent of a special needs child, and my husband and I have found therapy (with the right therapist) VERY helpful. I highly recommend Dr. Lisa Hochheiser in Chevy Chase, MD (she is a psychologist). I have recommended her to other special needs moms who use her and love her as well. Good luck to you, and congrats for seeking the help you need. It will benefit you and your child I am sure...