Working with your DH/DW

[Anonymous]

My DH and I work at the same company (different departments), and he is a fast-rising star. He is also the least sympathetic person ever when I want to just do normal "boo, work sucks" level complaining after a hard day. He always wants to fix it, or offer advice on how I too can be awesome at work. (BTW, I do just fine, I like my job, I'm fairly well respected, etc). Some times this is fine, and I ignore him. Other times it's a huge fight.

I'd love to know what other couples who share a workplace do to keep work-talk manageable. Short of job hunting, how do we fix this?

[Anonymous]

We work together and nearly never talk about work. We only talk about it when we have to share info that we need for planning purposes (like one of us has a big deadline and will have to work late or something). We do talk about people at work all the time, which is fun because we both know the same people and guilt-free because I think gossiping with your spouse doesnt really count.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is a problem because you work together. Sounds like you want to complain about a problem but not do anything to fix it, and maybe you are a little resentful of DH's status?

You are a team. Be glad that you have such a skilled coach in your back pocket, and take his advice on how to get ahead. If you don't want to advance/don't care, then you need to tell your husband that so that he knows what your goals are. It's OK to want to be a solid worker who is staying put rather than reaching for stars. In many ways you are likely a more valued member of the team than the "fast rising stars." Own that, and help him understand the difference. His advice will likely change if he understands that you're not looking to play and angle every development.

If I am wrong, and you do want to move ahead, then why wouldn't you listen to him and take his advice? You are lucky to have a successful role model, friend, and hubby.

[Anonymous]

We work together, and we talk about work A LOT. We both really like our jobs and our company, and we bounce ideas off each other all the time. But, we also enact a rule that we can't talk about work after 7 pm or on the weekends. To keep some work-life balance. Sometimes, we will say, can we talk about this for 15 minutes? And we will set a timer. It's mostly not complaining, but it's good to get a break from work once in a while.