Repeating kindergarten at same school - need advice /perspective

[Anonymous]

I originally posted this in the general school forum, but I was advised to post here. Would love your thoughts. Thank!

Our DS is currently in kindergarten in private school. He has a late August birthday, as does his older brother. We didn't hold either of them back. DS is extremely social and socially aware, but he isn't retaining the concepts taught for reading, writing, etc. He also has a hard time answering questions after a story has been read to the class. The teachers literally have to feed him the answers. He tends to not listen to much of our reading at home, either. When meeting with his teachers and learning about all of this, I asked if they'd ever hold him back. Originally, they said they rarely, if ever, do that, but now they're saying they would bc he's so young and they believe he'll benefit from another year. They think that he could have attention issues, but they're not sure and think a year will help us to determine if this is a maturity issue, attention issue or some kind of learning disability.

Has anyone here ever had their child repeat kindergarten at the same school where he sees his buddies move up to first grade? We're afraid of how this will affect him. I believe he could use the extra year, but also believe that his social success is important as well.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP I was reading your original thread last night. My daughter is repeating pre-k next year at the same private preschool with the same teachers. There are many differences between our situation and yours, the most meaningful being that she's just younger than him, and probably less aware of the social ramifications. In addition, she is an early oct birthday, so she's actually entering the right year now. (For some reason the preschool cutoff was different than dcps). We put her in the class, expecting she'd move to dcps prek this fall but we didn't get in. So anyway, different situation, I have literally no angst about the decision, and she is correspondingly thrilled about it. My point only is that if you're happy about it, he probably will be too. And please weigh any social angst he may feel now now against the angst of entering college, for example, a year earlier. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Since his is in private, can you move him to a different private school for K and beyond?

[Anonymous]

Instead of holding him back and seeing if more time will resolve his attention issues, I would take him for a neuropsych eval. He is not too young for one and the issues seem to be impacting his learning and possibly socially if you decide to hold him back.

My son has ADHD/ASD and has an August birthday (was sent on time) and simply holding him back would not have solved his issues. Getting a diagnosis and the right supports/services/medication did. He is thriving now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of holding him back and seeing if more time will resolve his attention issues, I would take him for a neuropsych eval. He is not too young for one and the issues seem to be impacting his learning and possibly socially if you decide to hold him back.

My son has ADHD/ASD and has an August birthday (was sent on time) and simply holding him back would not have solved his issues. Getting a diagnosis and the right supports/services/medication did. He is thriving now.

When is the appropriate age to get a neuropsych done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of holding him back and seeing if more time will resolve his attention issues, I would take him for a neuropsych eval. He is not too young for one and the issues seem to be impacting his learning and possibly socially if you decide to hold him back.

My son has ADHD/ASD and has an August birthday (was sent on time) and simply holding him back would not have solved his issues. Getting a diagnosis and the right supports/services/medication did. He is thriving now.

When is the appropriate age to get a neuropsych done?

6 yrs old is usually considered the youngest age for a neuropsych eval mostly bc at that age the WISC is used rather than WIPPSI. Some of the best neuropsychs have a long wait some 6+ months so I would get an appointment now for when your DC turns 6.

[Anonymous]

DD repeated kindergarten in much the same circumstances. We had stressed and stressed over much the same issues as you and there was much fear of stigma, etc. In the end it was no big deal at all. In fact, she was happy to have another year of K with a teacher she liked. Kindergarten was great and who wouldn't want more of it?

[Anonymous]

I agree that getting your child evaluated to understand the root cause of the issue is a better starting point. But, the wait time can be super long 3-6 months. In reality you will likely have to make a placement decision before you get the evaluation privately. Has the school evaluated him for a learning disability? Ask that the school evaluate since the teacher has concerned. While the school evaluation is not as thorough, they have to get it done within 60 days, I think.

[Anonymous]

Thanks! OP, here. He's in private school. He's has the Fountas and Pinnell done and a Reading Assessment test done. They said that he tests just about average for his age, possibly a little bit below. The private school truly believes that MCPS won't test him b/c he's not significantly delayed, in any way. He was always our easy child in the sense that there was never anything wrong! Our older son was always the one with issues. I've explored having him privately tested, as my older son just was - getting the results tomorrow, but everyone says it's a big waste of time and money b/c of his young age. I just don't want to hold him back if he has learning issues or adhd b/c we'll be in the SAME boat next year and he'll have stayed back from his amazing group of friends. My older son doesn't make friends like he does, so this is really augmented.

To the poster who held her daughter back, did your daughter feel badly b/c all of her friends went up to first grade? Did it affect her socially at all?

[Anonymous]

The focus should be on what kind of learning delays your DS has and what kind of support he needs, regardless of your decision to repeat kinder/not. The eval should help identify the main problem and even give a diagnose. For example, for a child who is diagnosed with dyslexia, he should get extra support in reading and intensive program to help him, because reading will continue to be a problem even if he's repeating a grade.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Since his is in private, can you move him to a different private school for K and beyond?


+1. I saw one boy have to repeat Kindergarten and it was mishandled and he felt "punished" for having to repeat. Another school would be preferable.

[Anonymous]

I was always told 7 is the earliest for the best, most accurate neuropsych.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's not an aural learner.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who held back her kid from advancing to kindergarten. Really glad she did it - kid not phased. My brother was pushed forward to 1rst grade early and then held back at 2. Much tougher later than earlier, think that did effect his and his friends perceptions.

[Anonymous]

I stayed back for K. I was a bright kid but had a September birthday. That extra year made me the oldest, often the most advanced, and gave me confidence through school. I never felt weird about it at all. It wouldnt have occurred to me that I failed--I was just happy to stay where I was with a teacher and classroom I knew.

Read Malcolm Gladwell's book (on raising boys I think). He talks about how many professional sports players have early Fall birthdays, meaning they were the oldest in their class. The theory is that, in those younger years, being months older makes a big difference. Those kids get more encouragement as a result, and go farther in the sport. It's easy to see how that would apply to all sorts of things.