My grandmother is dying

[Anonymous]

My grandmother is dying. She is my last living grand-relative. She is 85 and had emergency surgery last week to take out part of her small intestine. The surgery is complicated on anyone but on someone her age it has resulted in several clinical complications, which have, in turn, led to an incredibly rough road to recovery. The road is uphill and she has told us she isn't prepared for the battle. She is being moved to hospice (very much her own decision) tonight. I'm happy that she has the opportunity to die with dignity, in a way that makes her most comfortable, but I'm sad for my father and aunt who are still incredibly close with their mother.

No advice needed, just sort of wanted to share.

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry to read this, OP. Can you visit her?

[Anonymous]

I mean can you go tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I've been there, several times in the last few years. It's hard, but I am constantly thankful for hospice and minimizing their suffering. What an amazing group of people hospice nurses and doctors are.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. It's hard to lose the ones we love. I was thinking of my grandma today, who passed away less than a year ago. She was 86 and although mostly sharp she was ready to go. I miss her and feel sad that she's not here for all the positive changes my family is going through (a few great grand babies being born, mine soon). Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's hard to lose the ones we love. I was thinking of my grandma today, who passed away less than a year ago. She was 86 and although mostly sharp she was ready to go. I miss her and feel sad that she's not here for all the positive changes my family is going through (a few great grand babies being born, mine soon). Hugs to you.

Congrats to you and thanks for your kind words. - op

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, I have experience with this recently, and it is nice when someone can make their own decisions about death and dying. I found it comforting, even in my grief.

[Anonymous]

OP, my mother died a week ago. She was unconscious for 2 weeks before she died, and although we knew her general end of life wishes we did not know or have appropriate guidance as to when to make the call to pull feeding tube, hydration, etc. No one knew whether she would wake up and be able to guide our decisions, and in the end our hand was forced and we made the call rather than have her continue to struggle.

Hospice is a beautiful thing, and a patient being able to make their own end of life choices is a beautiful thing and a gift for the family.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope that you and your family can find comfort in each other and your memories of your grandmother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother is dying. She is my last living grand-relative. She is 85 and had emergency surgery last week to take out part of her small intestine. The surgery is complicated on anyone but on someone her age it has resulted in several clinical complications, which have, in turn, led to an incredibly rough road to recovery. The road is uphill and she has told us she isn't prepared for the battle. She is being moved to hospice (very much her own decision) tonight. I'm happy that she has the opportunity to die with dignity, in a way that makes her most comfortable, but I'm sad for my father and aunt who are still incredibly close with their mother.

No advice needed, just sort of wanted to share.

I am very sorry to hear that OP. I am going through something similar. It's really hard b/c my relative has been struggling for several years now and it is heartbreaking to see them struggle, and be immobile, and be in pain. Good luck and hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. It's never easy to lose someone close. If you can, go visit.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. I lost both of my grammas within 6 months of each other. Grammas are really really special. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. It's wonderful that you've had her in your life for so long, but always sad to lose someone you love.

Spend as much time as you're able to with her.

[Anonymous]

so very sorry for what you are going through OP. HOspice should be very gentle and kind with her. Our hospice brought in fans, which felt cooling and nice for my dying grandfather. And, yes, spend as much time as you can with her. I read to my aunt when she was dying - we thought she was in a coma, but she communicated to me with taps when she didn't like what I was reading aloud to her from the newspaper.