Talking to infant in 3 languages?

[Anonymous]

I am trying to figure out if this is a good idea or not...Any views?

Just some background on our situation. I am Eastern European, DH is American, and our nanny is from Latin America. DD is only 3 months old. I am trying to speak to her in my native language only, but it is a big effort for me and I am not sure if it is even worth the effort...More importantly, I am a bit paranoid that DD will end up confused (and won't start speaking on time).

[Anonymous]

My SIL lives in germany - she has always spoken English to her two children in her home. They are now 10 and 12 and speak both English and German very well. I remember when my nephew was young, perhaps 2 or so, he would confuse the two languages. When he did not know a word in English he wold default to the German word. But by 4 or 5 he understood the difference between the two languages and would ask what a word was in German. There is a lot written on this subject and I believe most people agree it is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Two languages is totally doable but I am unsure about the whole three language thing. I worked for a family who spoke two languages to their twins starting at birth. The mother only spoke Danish to them and the father only spoke english. They both developed their language skills at appropriate or above average rates and never had confusion with choosing the correct word in the correct language. They are both nine years old now and speak fluent danish and fluent english both with no discernible accent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two languages is totally doable but I am unsure about the whole three language thing.

OP here. That's exactly why I am a bit hesitant about going through with this...All of the research that I have found on the topic refers to two languages only.

[Anonymous]

I'm no expert, but I wouldn't focus on starting to speak "on time." After all, her brain might need some extra time to sort things out!

I think it's worth looking for more info, as the gift of having an extra native language is worth a lot, in my opinion.

Here's some possible links about raising a trilingual child:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=321833

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppbilingual/?msg=2752.1

Here's a blog about a child being raised trilingual:
http://www.adventuredad.com/archives/update-a-trilingual-upbringing/

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about it. And I certainly wouldn't give up speaking my native tongue b/c of the spanish from the nanny, when that isn't necessarily going to continue. You may change nannies go to preschool, and then you can't continue the spanish.

[Anonymous]

Bi- and trilingual children tend to begin speaking later than monolingual children but they catch up and surpass their monolingual peers in verbal skills eventually. Do not worry about language "delay" unless it becomes a problem for your specific child -- like is she getting frustrated because she is unable to express herself?

I am a language teacher so I have lots of friends and colleagues who have bilingual and trilingual homes. What I have observed is that it is really important to be aware of the child's emotional needs along the way. Sometimes there is a backlash against the minority language (and the parent who speaks it). You don't have to worry about that for a long time, but you should know it could happen. It helps a lot if the parent who doesn't speak the minority language makes an effort to learn.

[Anonymous]

Do you think it's important to do the one parent - one language approach to help your child be trilingual?

We are in the same boat with DH speaking Japanese to his family, me speaking Chinese to my family and obviously English with each other. We'd like DD to learn all 3 (she is currently 8 months) and she spends most of her time with me since I am a SAHM. While fluent in Chinese, I am more "comfortable" speaking in English (born and bred in the States, it's what I speak with friends and DH, while at work, school, etc) and so often end up speaking a blend of both Chinese and English with her. Will she end up thinking this blend is one language or will I need to be strict about speaking only one language with her?

Meanwhile, her daddy speaks English with her at home (although she doesn't see him nearly as much as he works your usual non-government long hours) but speaks Japanese when with his family whom we see once or twice a week.

Are we going to just end up confusing her? We thought by just exposing her to all languages she'd absorb it all, but maybe not.

Finally, I don't know if this is related, but DD is 8 months as I mentioned, and still not babbling (mama, dada, gaga, etc). She makes noises and coos but no consonant sounds. Pediatrician doesn't seem concerned but I've noticed babies much younger than her doing this already.

Sorry to hijack your thread, it's just that I had so many of the same concerns.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

I grew up in this area. My dad is American and my mom is from somewhere else. We were raised with nannies from Spanish-speaking countries. When I started elementary school, I spoke 3 languages as fluently as most kids speak one. This has only ever helped me. My Spanish faded with time because as we got older, there were no more nannies. I ended up studying two other completely different languages. My point is that it can only help your child through life. It is not confusing. My daughter is learning words now in 3 languages. She's very happy. I wish you the best of luck. Oh, and I eventually became fluent in Spanish again from living abroad.

[Anonymous]

To the Chinese-speaking PP. I am the language teacher from up-thread. I'm not an expert in language acquisition, but I don't think this kind of exposure can hurt. At the very least, if the child doesn't become bi- or trilingual and ends up learning Chinese and/or Japanese as a second (third) language, she will have confidence and exposure and her aural skills will probably be much better than other beginning language students. We're doing basically the same thing you're doing with French, by the way, and while I really don't think it's going to make our child bilingual, French is part of his culture and I want it to be part of his life.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for your responses/stories.

I guess I will do my best to speak to DD in my native language, even though this will require a lot of discipline on my part (since I haven't spoken my language on a regular basis for more than 15 years). My 3-month old DD is doing great so far: she is constantly babbling, cooing, etc. So let's hope that things will turn out well...

[Anonymous]

I'm a linguist and have studied language acquisition. Children do not get confused when multiple languages are spoken to them. The developing brain is amazing and will learn the 3 languages as separate systems. Don't have any worries about whether your child will be confused by hearing 3 languages.

[Anonymous]

I grew up overseas where 4 languages were spoken around me. Perhaps my vocabulary was not as extensive in each language as it would have been if I grew up with one language. However, the advantages of speaking numerous languages in my opinion far outway the inconvenience of slight delay in language skills. I think it's a great idea to expose your child to 3 languages.

[Anonymous]

Great questions OP. I was talking with my husband and some friends about this just last week. DH is 1st gen Italian, I'm 2nd gen Cuban. DH is fluent in Italian, Spanish and English while I am fluent in Spanish and English and my Italian only flows after a few glasses of wine. 75% of the time we speak Spanish to each other, 25% English. We definitely want DH to speak Italian to DS when he is born, but couldn't decide if I should speak to DS in English or Spanish or both. I've heard from a number of people that whatever language I choose I should be consistent, but I wonder how this would work since there are only two of us and we'd like him to be trilingual. Do we just let him pick up English outside the home? Make sure we get a nanny that speaks Spanish?

[Anonymous]

Three languages is completely doable. The most important thing is to ensure that your child has sufficient exposure to each -- that means, ideally, finding people outside of your home who also speak your languages, cultural events, music, and even DVDs -- as your child gets older, to the extent that you can show her that your culture is "cool" through pop music etc., it will help her appreciate your languages.

Our DC is bilingual in English and Spanish and has extensive exposure (his choice) to a third language through music. He doesn't speak that third language yet but his ability to learn songs with respectable pronunciation/accent and his continued interest in music in this language really is remarkable.

As others have posted, kids eventually get to the age where they can rebel against one or more languages. Currently, our DC will answer us in English if we speak in Spanish. His comprehension is perfect and we're trying to think of ways to get him to use Spanish more.

Raising your child in 2 or more languages does take commitment and creativity. Some flexibility on your part is needed too to cope with the inevitable ups and downs. It's a great gift to give your child and really will serve him well in the years to come. It also will make learning other languages somewhat easier because of the way the bilingual brain develops.

We're very into learning languages and sort of pity monolingual people - it's amazing to us that everyone isn't trying to do this, LOL.

Good luck!