Is it really important to find the "right " school?

[Anonymous]

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that finding the right school does not have to be such an arduous process. My personal opinion is that making the most informed choice and identifying the best fit for your child and your family is key. I would like to know how other parents feel about their school search. How are you feeling about your decision and the time you spent in making it?

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I find it so stressful. I am trying to focus on what appears to be best for my child, given that all of the schools really are good, but even then I focus on the negatives of each school. I think you are right though. If you want to be an involved parent, you need to find a good fit for your child and your family.

[Anonymous]

You know, I had an interesting experience the other day. I've been stressing about having to move out of my current house before my daughter hits school age because I recently found out that our high school is ranked about 20 out of 26 fairfax county schools. (My daughter is only 5 mos old, but I'm a planner and I tend to think about these things in advance.)

I don't think she necessarily has to be in a top-5 school, but the idea of her being in a bottom-5 school makes me nervous, and this particular school - and the associated junior high - have a bad reputation. Her father suggested we look into private school, but frankly, it makes more sense to me to spend $100K more on a similar house in a better district than to spend $15K per year for 12 years of private school, when we're in a county with good schools. So I figure at some point in the next few years, I'll move a few miles North or South or West to one of the better districts. (sacrificing my metro access, but oh well.)

Anyway, so I was talking to one of her daycare caregivers, and it turns out her son is in the school in question - and absolutely loves it. he is in a special program for honors kids and he is doing really well. That made me think: perhaps it's not so much about rankings, but about what your kid makes of the experience, and maybe kids do well in a variety of different environments. And even in a "bad" school, maybe a kid could get a great education. To be honest, I don't think I'd want my kid in an overachiever pressure cooker like Langley or Bethesda/Chevy Chase - why doom her to be a small fish in a big pond forever? And I would think that in a school where everyone is trying to get into the same 10 colleges, it would make her odds that much lower, and who needs that?

just a thought.

[Anonymous]

I think it's very important that you find a school that is a good fit for your child and your family; to do otherwise is risking real unhappiness.

But, two comments. The first is, your child is a growing, developing person, and the right fit now may not be the right fit in five years. Be aware of that, and plan accordingly. Focus on the present.

Second, it needs to be a good fit for the real chld that you have, not a hypothetical child. You may hope that your child will be interested in, and qualified for, an Ivy League college, but you can't know, so don't hyperfocus on college acceptance rates!

[Anonymous]

Just a thought- a lot of us grew up in places where just went to the local public school and didn't think twice about it. I know there are lots of choices in this area particularly for those who can afford private school, but kids are pretty resilient and can do well in a lot of different environments. I agree with the PP and would purposely avoid "pressure cooker" schools in this area. (I might think differently if I had a kid with special needs who needed a lot of services...)

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a small town and went to the local public school, no other option being available. My husband grew up in a large city and went to private school, though his school was chosen based more on religious affiliation than academics. We both went to respectable (though not Ivy League) colleges and have graduate degrees. By now, no one cares what elementary, middle, or even high school we attended.

I do think that where there is choice, parents should consider all options, but not everything can be judged by test scores, college acceptance rates, or racial/ethnic/economic demographics. We are currently house hunting and have looked at some neighborhoods that would result in our DD attending schools that are not top-ranked. They are not terrible, just average, based on looking at the information available online. They are not schools that I have ever seen discussed on this board, probably because they are in lower-income areas but not so bad as to have people warning to stay away.
Because they are in lower-income areas, they have a higher percentage of students receiving free/reduced meals. To some, this is a bad sign, but the upside is that these schools also have very low student-teacher ratios. I'm thrilled by the thought of only 12-14 students in a kindergarten class!