Annoying Fight - Should I apologize?
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Anonymous
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Here's what happened:
Yesterday we had my husband's family over for Easter all day. I cooked Easter dinner all by myself and packed away the leftovers. Husband put the dishes in the dishwasher. We both gave the kids a bath and then I put both kids to bed (my husband failed to get the baby to bed so I had to take over). I then cleaned the bath tub that the baby had pooped in (awesome!) by myself. After all that, I was exhausted and just plopped on the couch and pulled up a thread on DCUM on my phone to zone out for a bit. Husband brought up watching a movie after the kids were in bed earlier in the day and I had said that sounded fun. So DH started preparing for the movie (putting in the DVD, turning off lights, moving furniture that blocked view of TV). Meanwhile I continued to read DCUM on the couch. DH said, "Do you really want to watch the movie? You don't seem to care?" I said, "Yes, I do. I was just relaxing for a bit. Didn't realize you wanted help." He got angry and stormed off saying we weren't watching the movie anymore. I said "Well, you don't have to watch it, but I am." I watched the movie and DH went for a run. He is still super, super pissed at me the next day. He says I was being lazy and should not have watched the movie without him. I think after cooking Easter dinner, putting both kids to bed, and cleaning a shitty tub, I deserved a couple minutes to relax and if he wanted help setting up the movie, he should have asked rather than just getting angry. We're at a standstill. Should I just apologize? |
Anonymous
| I think you both need to get better at asking for help and not carrying grudges. Shake hands on this. |
Anonymous
| You both sound immature. Is there something deeper going on? |
Anonymous
| Yeah, he's wrong on this. He should have asked for help, not expected you to read his mind. Having said that, watching the movie without him was kind of a declaration of war. |
Anonymous
| Watching the movie without him was lame of you. If you were getting tired or upset at feeling like you were doing a lot during the day you should have asked for help. However, it sounds like you're keeping score (I put the baby to sleep because DH failed at it). |
Anonymous
| Difficult day, two people tired. Chalk it up and do something nice for each other. |
Anonymous
| You both sound stressed out from being parents to young kids and dealing with family and holiday craziness before the return to the workweek. I am sure you were both exhausted. I'd say something like "Hey, I'm sorry that last night didn't go the way each of us wanted to. I think we were both tired and I wish we hadn't snapped at each other." If he agrees and apologizes too, then you can move on. If he is still angry or snappy, then tell him you'll table the discussion if needs more time to recover. If he refuses after that, or this is a recurring problem, then it's time for a more serious discussion. |
Anonymous
| No, you shouldn't apologize. But you should discuss the day with him exactly as you have discussed it with us here on DCUM. He needs to know how you saw the day. If your description is accurate, then he missed how hard you were working. If your description is not accurate, it will be an opportunity for him to say how he saw it. |
Anonymous
OP, you can stop reading anything beyond what this person wrote. I can't imagine anyone topping this. |
Anonymous
| This sounds a lot like me and my boyfriend (we live together and have a child). Just curious, OP, how old are you and DH? Anyway, I think it's a petty argument. You both did a lot of work yesterday. He did help out with cleaning, getting the kids ready for bed, etc. I don't think it should be tit-for-tat (i.e., you cooked, cleaned up, and put a child to bed, he only cleaned up and put a child to bed, so you worked more). You both shared responsibilities last night. Maybe DH just wanted some attention from you, but you were on your phone (this is what I do all the time lol). Sometimes, our guys just want our attention. Even though I think your DH is being a bit immature with his dramatic response (same as my boyfriend does), I think you could just apologize to clear the air. Sometimes, we have to do things that we don't want to do to make our loved ones happy. It's worth a shot, OP! Good luck. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| It sounds like a classic post-holiday argument. Wait until tonight to even consider addressing it. More than likely, it will pass. These are the arguments where I just give him and extra kiss and a hug and there's no verbal exchange. |
Anonymous
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He should not have flipped out.
You should not have been spending any part of the holidays on DCUM. In closing, he feels like you're addicted to DCUM and need your daily fix. I suppose that's ok if he can have his daily xhamster fix. |
Anonymous
| How much preparation does it take in your house to watch a movie?? |
Anonymous
| Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Apologize and let it go even if you think it was his fault. |