Younger DS bigger than older DS
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Anonymous
| My older DS looks like me - long and lean (aka - lanky in my younger years!) my younger DS takes after my husband and more "mid-western" solid stock - wide shoulders and a solid waist. The boys are 3 years apart and the younger boy is about to pass up the older boy. We stopped passing clothes down a while ago and they are fine with sharing polos and tee shirts (one of the joys of boys!). I write first names in underwear (I could never remember who was what brand). Any advice on the self esteem side for my older DS - or household tips on the practical side? I'm the oldest and I don't remember when I got passed up by my brothers - but I'm a girl, so I don't know if it's different for boys. The older DS hasn't said anything yet, but I don't know if he sees it. |
Anonymous
| My DDs are just under 3 years apart and it has been clear from very early on that the younger (75th percentile) will be taller than the older (15th percentile) - and sooner rather than later. At ages 7 and 10, they weigh the same and the older has only 2 inches or so on the younger. We have said for years, you are the big sister, even though your little sister will be bigger than you, you are still the big sister. I have a younger brother, as does my mother and MIL, and all the uncles are (thankfully) taller than we are, so we have used that as a lesson. I think being both matter-of-fact about it and clear that the older one will always be the "big" is all you can do, but maybe others can think of something else. |
Anonymous
| How old are they? |
Anonymous
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Its normal. Often the second child is larger than the first. Its almost as if the first child "made room in the womb" for them to grow a little larger, or whatever.
My two DCs are 15 months apart (boy, girl) and the younger girl has been the same "size" in clothes as the boy since they were 5 and 6. Now they are 7 and 8 and its still the same deal. Only 1/2 inch difference in height. |
Anonymous
| OP here - we are in the middle school years. So we've got a boy with the girls all being taller and an elementary brother closing the gap. |
Anonymous
| I'm 29 and my sister is 4 years younger than I. She definitely surpassed me in height and weight when she had her growth spurt in middle school. I'm pretty sure that all of my siblings(youngest are teens) will be taller than me. It was depressing growing up as she's more attractive then I am (nerdy bookworm here!). But I just dealt with it the best way I could. |
Anonymous
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My younger sister is 5'2" and I'm 5'7" so that's not always true.
That said, I have two DDs and the younger will definitely be bigger than her older sister. It's not an issue yet because they are 3 and 6. |
Anonymous
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Size is just one of many factors which may contribute to the oldest's insecurities. Older DS will be shorter than younger DD - not only that, but younger DD, who is FIVE years younger, is quicker-witted than he is, and it shows! Thankfully DS has a wonderfully mild and even personality, and has so far taken it extremely well - even when DD corrects his math mistakes (ouch)... |
Anonymous
| The older will always be the older. Just make sure you give him the benefit of that so he can have the pleasure of some privileges that come with being more mature. (Later bedtime, more independence, getting a phone, etc) If he's already feeling a bit insecure, that could help. |
Anonymous
+1 to that. You can't do anything about size (other than selective use of medieval torture methods, and that just doesn't seem like the right way to go here...) so you need to find ways to focus on aspects of each DC other than the physical. |
Anonymous
| I really think self esteem should be borne from celebrating the individual not comparison with siblings |
Anonymous
| Just don't compare. My preteen/early teen girl cousins have the same problem. The younger one is tall with boobs and is very outgoing, the older one is short and skinny and soft spoken. The first time I made an off hand comment (something like "when did you get so much taller than your sister?") the older one get visibly upset - it's apparently a very sore spot. Now, I make it a point to occasionally point out to the older one how grown up she's looking, or something along those lines because I know she is always getting negative comments about looking young (as I did at that age too). |
Anonymous
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Privileges and responsibilities should differentiate the two boys. The elder brother gets the benefit of being the elder brother, along with all of the bother. That ought to take the sting out of being surpassed, height-wise, by his younger sibling. He'll still be able to drive first, for example. |
Anonymous
| OP, just please don't be like a friend of mine and tell your younger son to look out for a protect his little older brother. True story. |
Anonymous
Yep. The youngest and shortest in my family. 5'4" with a 6'2" brother and 5'8" sister. Op my younger son has always been on the small side and brother that's two years older on the taller side. They are 2.5 yrs apart--but it looks like a bigger spread. I'm guessing your Midwest stocky older son will still be able to put the skinny, tall lanky one in a headlock his whole life. That's how it works with my firstborn DH who is very muscular, broad and 5'10 and his skinny, tall 6'1" brother  .
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