Returning to bad workplace after maternity leave

[Anonymous]

My maternity leave is over and I'm going back to work. The environment at work has been extremely dysfunctional since I found out I was pregnant, but I stuck it out so I could get the FMLA leave. I have had a great maternity leave, and have been looking/applying for jobs when I can while on leave. I'll be able to do it moreso now that the baby is in care during the day. My family doesn't have the means for me to quit my job or go part-time, so I will be in this job until I can find another one. Going back to this toxic environment makes it even harder to send my baby to daycare because I am doing something I don't like (leaving baby) to go do something I can't stand and to be honest makes me sick to think about doing (going to bad work environment).

I don't think the situation will get better (it has actually gotten worse just up until my leave), so I'm just coming here to vent and hopefully glean some insight from any moms or dads who have BTDT. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Don't go back. Don't look back

[Anonymous]

I can sympathize; while I wouldn't quite describe my workplace as toxic, I don't like my job and going back after mat leave sucked. It sucks even more now because they are cracking down on me for teleworking "too much." Mind you I have a job tht absolutely does not require me to be in the office.

So I'm sticking it out and applying for new jobs. Quitting without a new job isn't an option so I'm getting very aggressive in my search- think seeking out people I think are team leads for x job and msging them on linkedin/following on twitter/calling people I know at x company. You gotta do more than just fill out online applications and email resumes. Hitting the job search trail hard is giving me a little light at the end of the tunnel. Xanax at the end of the day is too. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

You don't go to work to fulfill your soul. You go to work to earn money so you can afford to live. Keep looking for a new job. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This was me! Seriously, my workplace was the most toxic environment I have ever been in, and I have worked at some messed up places.

I had to go back for financial reasons, and I was too tired with a baby to look for work, so I stuck it out. As it turns out, the heinous bosses either left or were pushed out, and now I'm in charge, and it's the best job ever! I would never in a million years have anticipated this turn of events. So if you have to go back, keep your chin up and stay positive about the future. Things can change - or you will find something new and better. At a minimum, keeping a good attitude will make you feel better and will make you better at your job (and job search). Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Keep looking for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Triple check the fmla maternity leave policy. If you don't return to work you may have to pay back the income and benefits you received on leave. B

[Anonymous]

Been there and thank G-d every day that the perfect new job came along. Hang in there, OP, it will happen for you, too!

[Anonymous]

Keep looking for a new job, and in the meantime, remind yourself often that work is service to your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't go to work to fulfill your soul. You go to work to earn money so you can afford to live. Keep looking for a new job. Good luck.

NP here. Yes, it's true that you don't go to work for fulfillment. BUT on the other hand, if your work makes you so completely miserable and becomes soul-sucking and spirit-breaking, then it's time to find something else. You spend at least 40 hours a week at work. Of course, you are there to work, but it shouldn't be toxic.

OP, the only solution seems to be to find a new job. Just keep your head down and push through until something else comes along. Best of luck, and I hope you find something soon.

Whenever it gets really tense at work or feels particularly toxic, just remind yourself that you are providing for your child, you're doing it for your baby. Hopefully that will help you get through it.

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to me. Going back wasn't as bad as I feared. Having a baby switches your priorities and I just didn't have time to get sucked into the BS anymore. I kept my head down, did my job, and went home to my baby. And kept applying for jobs. I think I was out of there within 8 months or so.

Since you can't just say you're not going back, you need to mentally separate the job search from the maternity leave. You have to go back, but that doesn't mean you'll be stuck there forever.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Triple check the fmla maternity leave policy. If you don't return to work you may have to pay back the income and benefits you received on leave. B

I think you're right. So when you return to your job, how long do you have to stay (before quitting or finding other work) to avoid paying back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't go back. Don't look back

What fantasy land do you live in? Or do you just not pay your bills?

[Anonymous]

Keep working to keep paying the bills but get a new job. It's very tough to get a job when you don't have one - it's one of the primary screens that companies apply when reviewing applicants. Speaking of screening out applicants, don't reveal the fact that you're a new Mom unless it is necessary.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I gave my notice while on maternity leave, after extensive research that I wouldn't owe any $$ from leave. Toxic environment, horrible boss. Stayed home for 6 months, went on to find a great job, and am now at my dream job.