How close to your due date would you be ok with your husband traveling?

[Anonymous]

My husband's office is planning a conference either 2 or 3 weeks prior to our due date. And it's on the West Coast. This really stresses me. It's our first child. I'm nervous and I want him there. My family does not live in the area. Am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

You are not being unreasonable.

2 to 3 weeks before due date is "any minute now" time. You could go into labor in the middle of the night and what? Call a taxi? and have the baby before he got a plane, much less home.

Unless there's a reason he can't bow out (like losing the job can't), then he should say he can't go.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be OK with it either. You just never know, and it will certainly heighten your stress level, which isn't good for you or the baby.

[Anonymous]

You are totally reasonable! Your are considered full term at 37 weeks so he should be intown by then. My husband is currently overseas for a 2 week assignment and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. This was the latest possible date that we would consider being apart.

[Anonymous]

My husband was supposed to go two hours out of town with his CEO the day I went into labor. Thank goodness it started that morning before he had to leave. I thought, well, it's only two hours away, but I went pretty quick. Close call. West Coast - hell no!

[Anonymous]

If it's possible for him to say no, he should.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're not unreasonable. You could deliver anytime during the last 4 weeks of pregnancy. It would definitely be better if your husband doesn't go. For how long should your husband be going? If saying "no" is not an option, can someone close to you come stay with you, like sister or mom while he is away for the conference?

[Anonymous]

I went into labor 2 weeks early with my first - one day after my doc said I would more likely go past due than early.

With #2, my DH was scheduled to go to a family function 3 weeks before my due date. I went into labor the night before he was scheduled to leave (he was only supposed to be gone 12 hours, so I was nervous, but figured he could get back quickly).

There is no way I would let DH go to the West Coast that close to my due date. He will just never forgive himself if he misses out, and you would be pretty upset as well, to put it mildly. The birth of a child is something WAY more important than a business trip.

[Anonymous]

I have put my husband on notice for months now that he will be on baby-watch beginning 6 weeks before the due-date -- meaning no flights anywhere within that time-frame. I know too many people who have missed births because they were traveling (and too many wives who've gone into labor alone). I also know lots of people who have had their first kid 4 or 5 weeks early and/or had incredibly short first-time labors (45 minutes!).

That said, not everyone has the flexibility to be grounded for that long, and this isn't the best economy to put your job at risk. If his employer wouldn't be understanding and he is concerned that he might be on the chopping block if he can't go, you should bear in mind that statistically most women give birth within a couple weeks of their due date (before or after), and that first-time labors are often 12-18 hours long. While it's not ideal, the odds are that it would work out okay. I would definitely have a close friend or relative stay with you, if possible, or at least be on-call to bring you to or meet you at the hospital, so you're not going through the labor alone if worst comes to worst.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You are not at all being unreasonable. I am in the exact same situation (first child, no family here) and if I were you, I would not let my husband go. I would not let my husband travel anywhere at anytime during my 9th month.
Good luck. Hope you can make it work.

[Anonymous]

Not unreasonable at all. I'm due in mid-April and asked (nicely) that my husband finish all work-related travel by the beginning of March. He travels internationally, mainly to Asia, so he would be at least a 12-14 hour flight away.

[Anonymous]

Especially for your first, I would say that 2-3 weeks before due date is calling it a little close. Chances are you will be fine even if he goes (as most first borns are late) BUT there is a chance that you will go early. I would just ask your hubby how he would feel if he missed the birth. I'm sure he'd feel like sh*t.

That said, I don't think I'd tell my DH if I were in that situation that he absolutely couldn't go. I'd let him make the choice for himself. UNLESS you don't have anybody else around that could go with you to the hospital if you went early while he was gone.

My DH traveled 2 weeks before my due date OVERSEAS for our second and I was PISSED b/c I didn't have any family or even friends around to help (we were living overseas at the time). He had to go though b/c of work. But I was pissed.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine had a harrowing story of cutting it close - her husband returned from a business trip when she was at 37 weeks. She picked him up at the airport at 2pm. Shortly thereafter, she started to feel a bit "odd." Labor started and quickly progressed, and she had the baby that night at 11pm, just 9 hours after picking up DH at the airport. I wouldn't be happy with my DH traveling any time after 34 weeks....

[Anonymous]

Not reasonable at all. At 36 week, my OB said I will likely deliver on my due date or close to it, and exactly a week after that, my water broke and I delivered a few hours later.

[Anonymous]

I haven't had my baby yet, but I do know that my two sisters-in-law gave birth a week and two weeks before their respective due dates. I also have a friend who give birth on Feb 1 (due date Feb 26th). She figured since it was her first, she'd have time to put those finishing touches on the nursery. Mother Nature had other plans. You aren't being unreasonable in being concerned. If he can avoid the travel, he should. If he can't, as PPs have suggested, have help on stand by.