mentally shifting from saving to spending
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Anonymous
I've lived thriftily for close to 20 years, saving up for a down payment on a house, saving for college, going through a divorce. Now the final figures for college expenses are building up, and I'm having to try to step back from the fact that some colleges have an OOP cost of 16k vs some with an OOP cost of 50k. I KNOW I've been saving all along for this, so DC can have a positive college experience, but habits are hard to break  . I also have some resentment that the noncustodial parent is trying to influence the college choices with no clear idea of the money, and with a backlog of child support 
AAARGGHHHH! |
Anonymous
| Sorry, what's OOP? Over-projection? |
Anonymous
| Oh crud, never mind, just figured it out. Out of pocket! Hope my coffee kicks in soon! |
Anonymous
| OP, most of us hear DC say this in conversation, "I couldn't go. My parents couldn't afford it" re: at least one college choice. You have to weather it. Our DC's highest ranked choice also gave her the most money but it was still too expensive. Funny thing is she hadn't even seemed that interested until she knew she couldn't go. Oh well, disappointment builds character. |
Anonymous
|
OP, are you and the other parent both paying for college, or are you footing the bill by yourself? Have you had a discussion about the budget, how to approach guiding your DC in the college search, managing expectations and minimizing disappointment, and so on?
Tell your DC that college is like buying a car more than like finding a romantic partner. The latter is like finding "the One" while the former is like having several possibilities, some that you'd love but that are out of your price range, and finding what has the best collection of options you like that you can comfortably afford. |
Anonymous
Out of pocket |
Anonymous
| And, let me tell you, whatever you saved, it will go FAST! |
Anonymous
| You have to add all the $$ issues into your kid's pros/cons list for colleges and at some $ amount (determined by you), the college becomes a "no". |
Anonymous
| If you have saved money for college don't lose sight of it's purpose. It's not valuable because it exists but because of what it can accomplish. If you don't spend it you won't see a return on your investment. Be reasonable about colleges with child but put his needs first and then congratulate yourself for having the foresight to being the responsible parent. |
Anonymous
| FWIW, ours kids' college accounts are fully paid up. It still nearly kills me to pay $60,000 per year for DD. I hope our $$ is helping out another deserving student with financial aid (this thought at least makes me feel better). |
Anonymous
Trust me on this one. You are helping others who game the system. |