Need advice from parents of ADHD Inattentive kids

[Anonymous]

1st grade DD was JUST diagnosed with ADHD- Inattentive type along with graphomotor issues and some possible sensory intergration issues (underresponsivity). Teacher brought up issues on Day 4 of school this past fall- saying her distractibility was "alarming". She's performing on grade level but we get reports daily of wandering, distracted by items all around her, silliness, rolling on rug, needs multiple reminders and unable to complete tasks in a timely manner. Teacher has been somewhat accommodating while we pursued the neuropsch (took forever to get in and get it done) but we feel recently that the teacher is completely fed up and frustrated with my daughter (this comes through on emails to us, notes she writes on her daily behavior chart). She even once had her write on a piece of paper "I'm making bad choices. I'm fooling around." Now our DD is really digging in her heels about going to school and expressing her dislike of it. Then the other night she told us her teacher was "mean to her" When asked for examples, she said the teacher pushes her chair in up to the desk so hard it hurts. This is presumably because my DD is wiggling, or has knees folded up, or is pushing back....all things she does due to her issues. We are definitely going to address this with the teacher but I just am so mad that my DD feels targeted because of her (up until now) undiagnosed issues. This teacher has been teaching for 27 years at the same school so surely she's had children like this before. I'm just so frustrated and feel so overwhelmed right now.

So, my question is what is the best thing I can do I do for my DD? My plan is to get through this year (obtain a 504 or IEP before year end), talk to the principal about the need for a better match next year teacher-wise, but then....what? My DD is curious, eager to learn, and so creative. I don't want that to be squashed. What are the BEST things you've done for your child like this?

[Anonymous]

The Best thing we did was put him on medication. My DS has ASD/Asperger's diagnosed when he was 4 in prek. He was diagnosed with ADHD, combined type, in addition to the ASD through a neuropsych eval this past December.

All the problematic behaviors you describe, "wandering...." Are no longer there once he started ADHD meds. He is above grade level at a language immersion school and he gets much more out of school in general and everything has improved since he receives treatment for his ADHD.

I had thought the problematic behaviors like the wandering around were stims due to the ASD but apparently not since they have all disappeared with medication.

[Anonymous]

You might find these books helpful:
http://www.amazon.com/Patricia-O.-Quinn/e/B001JRXPX2/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1426960802&sr=1-1

[Anonymous]

I've been through this a few times.

First of all, no first grade should be left feeling badly about herself because of behavior that she can't control, so you are going to have to be her advocate. I think it is completely appropriate to meet with the principal (and school psychologist, counselor or special ed coordinator if there is one) to discuss the relationship that your child and her teacher have. It's perfectly fine, and respectful, to say that in your view the teacher seems to be struggling and your daughter is developing some negativity towards school. Ideally, someone will help the teacher develop a better behavioral management for your daughter than what she is using now, and also the school psychologist/counselor (or private therapist if you have one) will work with your daughter to develop some better habits and a better view of the teacher.

If the teacher is not flexible or willing to work on what she does in the class, then the alternatives are to have your daughter moved to another class or to find another adult in the school to deal with your daughter on a more one-on-one basis. For example, if there's a student teacher at the school, that person could be assigned to spend more time in the classroom to implement behavioral modification strategies for your daughter.

Not to sound like a zealot, but all kids in public school are entitled to a free and appropriate education, and that doesn't just mean making sure that they can work at grade level, it also means having their social and emotional needs meet and making sure they achieve school success commensurate with their abilities.

[Anonymous]

I think you're on the right track to start the IEP/504 process. Your post reminds me of when my son was in first grade. He would come home and say that even though he tried as hard as he could all day every day, he was bad and he couldn't go to school. So, I requested what I now know is called an EMT. I went through the guidance counselor. We were able to revise the classroom behavior plan so that he only flipped his card (they did the green/yellow/red card system) if he was violent, which he never was. There were a few other things we did as well.

In future years, all behavioral issues (which included classroom management issues) were handled by the special education resource teacher, not the classroom teacher. So if a problem arose, only the resource teacher could implement any sort of program and she monitored it daily.

We also had a lot of success with medication.

We may have had an easier time dealing with things because my son had an IEP from before he started school. When you get to the point of developing a 504 or IEP, you might want to check the archives. Over the past year or so there have been some very good posts on interventions for kids at all grade levels.

One last thing. Most teachers are really good with kids with ADHD but some are not. Don't let yourself get discouraged and down on teachers at this point. Almost all of my son's teachers have been amazing and even the ones who have had the occasional bad day or bad week with him have really tried to do a good job with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been through this a few times.

First of all, no first grade should be left feeling badly about herself because of behavior that she can't control, so you are going to have to be her advocate. I think it is completely appropriate to meet with the principal (and school psychologist, counselor or special ed coordinator if there is one) to discuss the relationship that your child and her teacher have. It's perfectly fine, and respectful, to say that in your view the teacher seems to be struggling and your daughter is developing some negativity towards school. Ideally, someone will help the teacher develop a better behavioral management for your daughter than what she is using now, and also the school psychologist/counselor (or private therapist if you have one) will work with your daughter to develop some better habits and a better view of the teacher.

If the teacher is not flexible or willing to work on what she does in the class, then the alternatives are to have your daughter moved to another class or to find another adult in the school to deal with your daughter on a more one-on-one basis. For example, if there's a student teacher at the school, that person could be assigned to spend more time in the classroom to implement behavioral modification strategies for your daughter.

Not to sound like a zealot, but all kids in public school are entitled to a free and appropriate education, and that doesn't just mean making sure that they can work at grade level, it also means having their social and emotional needs meet and making sure they achieve school success commensurate with their abilities.

The general ed teacher seems ill equip to handle your daughter's needs and your child is being made to feel bad about herself.

ADHD affects the wiring in the frontal cortex of the brain. When a child begins to struggle with focusing, movement is actually a biological mechanism of trying to wake up the frontal cortex to improve focus. Your child should have an IEP/504 plan with accommodations that allow for movement in ways that are not disruptive to the class.

Examples (by all means this list is not comprehensive; you, your child, and the school team should come up with a list that meets your child's needs).

1) frequent breaks that allow for movement - One of my DD's teacher had the whole class do 30 seconds of jumping jacks or jumping in place as a universal design of implementing this accommodation. Movement breaks were helpful to all children. My DD was also given a bathroom/water fountain pass to allow her to non-verbally show the teacher she needed to get up out of her seat. My DD at times ran errands such as taking a note to the office. The key is that teachers do these things in a way that doesn't stigmatize your child. Needs for movement can also vary day by day so the teacher and the child needs to monitor when a movement break is needed.

2) have a squeezy ball at her desk - Just little movements like squeezing a soft stress ball is a quiet way your child can move while listening to what the teacher is saying.

3) let your child tap fingers and toes as long as it is quiet - if your child is not bothering others around her, why not let her do these things? If the movement gets noisy, instead of chastising the child, take it as a clue that a movement break is needed (see suggestion 1).

4) allow the child to doodling on paper when listening - Doodling is another activity that wakes up the frontal cortex and may help your child remember more of what the teacher is saying.

[Anonymous]

Another parent in the exact same spot. I get the exact same complaints (I'm sure entirely valid) about by son. His teacher is great though and we are not having an issue there.

I think you should talk to the counselor about your daughters reluctance to go to school and also ask about starting the IEP/504 process. Sounds like it is hard/impossible to get an IEP in first grade unless there are other issues and/or kid is falling behind. From what I have been told its not impossible, but difficult.

Did the neuropsych evaluation recommend anything? We have not done the evaluation yet and we have our 504 meeting coming up.

[Anonymous]

God, what is she? 6? 7? I don't disbelieve that she may have ADHD, but she is also practically a baby. Some kids develop self-control faster than others. The rush to pathologize childish behavior in, you know, CHILDREN is what I find "alarming."

[Anonymous]

I don't see anything wrong with what the teacher has done. My DS is a "classic inattentive" and we've had a lot of talks about making good decisions each day. I remember him telling on fellow classmates who he felt weren't being good friends because they would tell on him when he drifted off and wouldn't complete assignments. Uh, no. Like the teacher in your scenario who pushed the chair in, those kids were helping a child who wasn't working at the task.

The child needs to have a sense of responsibility. Without a sense of choice, and good decision-making, your child gets to blame the diagnosis for everything. You don't want to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't see anything wrong with what the teacher has done. My DS is a "classic inattentive" and we've had a lot of talks about making good decisions each day. I remember him telling on fellow classmates who he felt weren't being good friends because they would tell on him when he drifted off and wouldn't complete assignments. Uh, no. Like the teacher in your scenario who pushed the chair in, those kids were helping a child who wasn't working at the task.

The child needs to have a sense of responsibility. Without a sense of choice, and good decision-making, your child gets to blame the diagnosis for everything. You don't want to be there.

Pushing the child's chair in so hard that is hurts the child is not appropriate behavior for anyone much less a teacher. I can't believe no one has flagged this yet.

OP you need to contact the principal right away and ask For a meeting and let him/her know the teacher has been so rough with your DD. And definitely get an IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't see anything wrong with what the teacher has done. My DS is a "classic inattentive" and we've had a lot of talks about making good decisions each day. I remember him telling on fellow classmates who he felt weren't being good friends because they would tell on him when he drifted off and wouldn't complete assignments. Uh, no. Like the teacher in your scenario who pushed the chair in, those kids were helping a child who wasn't working at the task.

The child needs to have a sense of responsibility. Without a sense of choice, and good decision-making, your child gets to blame the diagnosis for everything. You don't want to be there.

Pushing the child's chair in so hard that is hurts the child is not appropriate behavior for anyone much less a teacher. I can't believe no one has flagged this yet.

OP you need to contact the principal right away and ask For a meeting and let him/her know the teacher has been so rough with your DD. And definitely get an IEP.

My DD had similar experience except of pushing her chair in the teacher would stand right behind my DD with her hands on my DD's shoulders. My DD felt embarrassed and the touching also made my child more distracted.

Special Education should focus on the needs of the child. A child with ADHD will fidget more than the typical child hence why it is a symptom of the disability. To say "don't fidget" and not give alternative outlets, then the kid figits and is labeled as "making poor decisions" is blaming the child for the disability. The net result is harmful for the self esteem of the child and places barriers to the child's learning in the classroom. It is not appropriate for a child with those needs.

Before the IEP/504 meeting - Have the child write down a list of things that are distracting to her in the classroom (including the teacher pushing in her chair). It would be helpful for the team to know those things and to consider how to minimize distractions in the classroom and how to maximize the child's ability to focus. Movement breaks/passes would be appropriate for an ADHD child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another parent in the exact same spot. I get the exact same complaints (I'm sure entirely valid) about by son. His teacher is great though and we are not having an issue there.

I think you should talk to the counselor about your daughters reluctance to go to school and also ask about starting the IEP/504 process. Sounds like it is hard/impossible to get an IEP in first grade unless there are other issues and/or kid is falling behind. From what I have been told its not impossible, but difficult.

Did the neuropsych evaluation recommend anything? We have not done the evaluation yet and we have our 504 meeting coming up.

This is also my understanding. There has to be academic impact.

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between the IEP and 504. For the IEP you need to show the need for specialized instruction. For the 504 you are only identifying a disability that needs accommodation.

We went through this process with my DD (also ADHD inattentive). We received a 504 plan. The key to success in the process for us was showing interference with our child's ability to access the curriculum. Children don't have to be failing school. In our case, we could show falling behind with the actual worksheets in class and developing a dislike for school, although all academic indicators were "fine" according to the teacher (or even above grade level).

We were not successful obtaining an IEP because the neurospsych eval really only indicated accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between the IEP and 504. For the IEP you need to show the need for specialized instruction. For the 504 you are only identifying a disability that needs accommodation.

We went through this process with my DD (also ADHD inattentive). We received a 504 plan. The key to success in the process for us was showing interference with our child's ability to access the curriculum. Children don't have to be failing school. In our case, we could show falling behind with the actual worksheets in class and developing a dislike for school, although all academic indicators were "fine" according to the teacher (or even above grade level).

We were not successful obtaining an IEP because the neurospsych eval really only indicated accommodations.

Do you just go in and request the 504? Is it important to have the actual 504 versus the school just doing some accommodations informally? Curious.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a pp that you need to speak to the principal asap. This teacher is lacking in "best" teaching practices. She has some very negative, maladaptive strategies that she is using on your daughter that need to be stopped. Clearly this teacher needs education.

Have you formally requested an eval for an IEP in writing? Nothing will happen unless you do this. The IEP will, among other things, help protect your child from teachers like this.