Fraternities - the beginning of the end?

[Anonymous]

It seems like every other day there is a news story about a fraternity being suspended for some sort of awful behavior from racist chants to today's news about a Penn State fraternity having a facebook page with pictures of naked women who are passed out, in embarrassing sexual positions, etc. I think this is the beginning of the end of the Greek system. Does anyone else think so? DH vehemently disagrees, he was the president of his frat in college. At this point if they still exist when DD goes to college I will probably encourage her to go to a college without a Greek system.

[Anonymous]

There are hundreds of thousands of fraternity members spread across thousands of chapters on hundreds of college campuses. In the past year, we've had:

A) A fake rape report at UVA
B) An offensive song at the U of Oklahoma
C) A facebook page in poor taste at Penn State

Definitely, the beginning of the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like every other day there is a news story about a fraternity being suspended for some sort of awful behavior from racist chants to today's news about a Penn State fraternity having a facebook page with pictures of naked women who are passed out, in embarrassing sexual positions, etc. I think this is the beginning of the end of the Greek system. Does anyone else think so? DH vehemently disagrees, he was the president of his frat in college. At this point if they still exist when DD goes to college I will probably encourage her to go to a college without a Greek system.

A bit extreme (and likely futile), don't you think?

[Anonymous]

My DH is in a frat and his frat has been doing some serious work in cleaning up some issues on the undergrad level - mainly hazing. But DH is in an AAGLO and the undergrad experience was a bit different for him. There was partying and such, but drinking was not so much a focus. Honestly, DH says that he did not get the true value of the frat until he was out of school and all the folks were mature and in professions. It is a professional and social network. It has a mentoring program that is very important to him and some of the other community service stuff they do is commendable. He says that he enjoys it much more now than he ever did in college because he now fully understands that it is more than partying and popularity. Generally speaking, AAGLO's tend to have more of a life long component. Alumni chapters and older members are very active and a huge part of the frat nationally.

With our own kids (2 in college), we have told them not to pledge in undergrad. Once they get out of school and find a career, then we would support it because at the point, the focus of joining is different. It would be like joining any other professional/social club as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are hundreds of thousands of fraternity members spread across thousands of chapters on hundreds of college campuses. In the past year, we've had:

A) A fake rape report at UVA
B) An offensive song at the U of Oklahoma
C) A facebook page in poor taste at Penn State

Definitely, the beginning of the end.

Ha ha, you need to climb out from the rock you're living under. Just to name some, UConn, Vanderbilt, University of Maryland, Washington and Lee, and University of Michigan have all had recent issues. There are more. Try to be informed before responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like every other day there is a news story about a fraternity being suspended for some sort of awful behavior from racist chants to today's news about a Penn State fraternity having a facebook page with pictures of naked women who are passed out, in embarrassing sexual positions, etc. I think this is the beginning of the end of the Greek system. Does anyone else think so? DH vehemently disagrees, he was the president of his frat in college. At this point if they still exist when DD goes to college I will probably encourage her to go to a college without a Greek system.

A bit extreme (and likely futile), don't you think?

Not really. I said encourage not force. There are plenty of great schools without Greek systems.

[Anonymous]

Here's my totally unfounded theory on it: We're entering the "generation" (or ages) where the people now in fraternities have never NOT known social media. It's the only way they communicate.

Social media has been around and popular for 10 years - absolutely. But the college-age young adults using it had lived without that way of communicating through most of their teen years. They were old enough to remember before social media and to have been lectured about the risks of the internet by their parents.

We're just now reaching the age where 18-20 year olds today truly don't remember before social media. They don't have the same sense of caution about it. Pictures that in the last decade were sent via mass text are now being posted on social media and the people think it is private - but it isn't.

We're about to enter a whole new world of social media faux pas where people are going to be caught doing a lot of things they've always done - but they're communicating it in a way that is going to make them more vulnerable to getting caught.

That's my take on it. I'm 29, for what that's worth. There is a huge change between how I interact with social media and my cousins who are 10 - 14 years younger than me do, because of how they grew up with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is in a frat and his frat has been doing some serious work in cleaning up some issues on the undergrad level - mainly hazing. But DH is in an AAGLO and the undergrad experience was a bit different for him. There was partying and such, but drinking was not so much a focus. Honestly, DH says that he did not get the true value of the frat until he was out of school and all the folks were mature and in professions. It is a professional and social network. It has a mentoring program that is very important to him and some of the other community service stuff they do is commendable. He says that he enjoys it much more now than he ever did in college because he now fully understands that it is more than partying and popularity. Generally speaking, AAGLO's tend to have more of a life long component. Alumni chapters and older members are very active and a huge part of the frat nationally.

With our own kids (2 in college), we have told them not to pledge in undergrad. Once they get out of school and find a career, then we would support it because at the point, the focus of joining is different. It would be like joining any other professional/social club as an adult.

What is an AAGLO? And I've never known someone to join a fraternity after graduation. Where does that exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is in a frat and his frat has been doing some serious work in cleaning up some issues on the undergrad level - mainly hazing. But DH is in an AAGLO and the undergrad experience was a bit different for him. There was partying and such, but drinking was not so much a focus. Honestly, DH says that he did not get the true value of the frat until he was out of school and all the folks were mature and in professions. It is a professional and social network. It has a mentoring program that is very important to him and some of the other community service stuff they do is commendable. He says that he enjoys it much more now than he ever did in college because he now fully understands that it is more than partying and popularity. Generally speaking, AAGLO's tend to have more of a life long component. Alumni chapters and older members are very active and a huge part of the frat nationally.

With our own kids (2 in college), we have told them not to pledge in undergrad. Once they get out of school and find a career, then we would support it because at the point, the focus of joining is different. It would be like joining any other professional/social club as an adult.

What is an AAGLO? And I've never known someone to join a fraternity after graduation. Where does that exist?

NP here. African American Greek Letter Organization. I don't know why PP didn't just say that. But yes, many people join after graduation for the purpose of community service and community. Pretty common.

[Anonymous]

One thing that would really help both sororities and fraternities - begin the integration of all black fraternities and sororities. It encourages division and perpetuates racism in the organizations. All the organizations have to embrace integration for it to be successful. And yes, I understand the motivation for such organizations but the world changes and we are trying to move on to be more inclusive so its not just about black organizations accepting whites but accepting all ethnicity and races.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my totally unfounded theory on it: We're entering the "generation" (or ages) where the people now in fraternities have never NOT known social media. It's the only way they communicate.

Social media has been around and popular for 10 years - absolutely. But the college-age young adults using it had lived without that way of communicating through most of their teen years. They were old enough to remember before social media and to have been lectured about the risks of the internet by their parents.

We're just now reaching the age where 18-20 year olds today truly don't remember before social media. They don't have the same sense of caution about it. Pictures that in the last decade were sent via mass text are now being posted on social media and the people think it is private - but it isn't.

We're about to enter a whole new world of social media faux pas where people are going to be caught doing a lot of things they've always done - but they're communicating it in a way that is going to make them more vulnerable to getting caught.

That's my take on it. I'm 29, for what that's worth. There is a huge change between how I interact with social media and my cousins who are 10 - 14 years younger than me do, because of how they grew up with it.

+1. My now-mid 30s guy friends are successful, mature professionals now, but their fraternity stories (at relatively tame Greek Life schools) show an entirely different picture. Guy friends out of Greek life.. same thing. Fortunately for them, they engaged in their shenanigans in-person or via text, not on Facebook for the world to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like every other day there is a news story about a fraternity being suspended for some sort of awful behavior from racist chants to today's news about a Penn State fraternity having a facebook page with pictures of naked women who are passed out, in embarrassing sexual positions, etc. I think this is the beginning of the end of the Greek system. Does anyone else think so? DH vehemently disagrees, he was the president of his frat in college. At this point if they still exist when DD goes to college I will probably encourage her to go to a college without a Greek system.

A bit extreme (and likely futile), don't you think?

Not really. I said encourage not force. There are plenty of great schools without Greek systems.

Agree. Jesuit schools don't have a Greek system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing that would really help both sororities and fraternities - begin the integration of all black fraternities and sororities. It encourages division and perpetuates racism in the organizations. All the organizations have to embrace integration for it to be successful. And yes, I understand the motivation for such organizations but the world changes and we are trying to move on to be more inclusive so its not just about black organizations accepting whites but accepting all ethnicity and races.

We had some white (and other) members in my AA fraternity. It was never discouraged. I would assume that every AA frat/sorority on every campus has a few non-black members. And, obviously there are black members of white fraternities on most campuses. It's pretty much integrated (to a point) now.

[Anonymous]

Please Greek rule over campuses and are the most active alumni. Look at a place like Duke for years the Greek had the best housing given to them by the University. If you were not Greek, hit the road. This will not change.

[Anonymous]

Let me just say this. I am pretty sure you are not supposed to call them frats. The line we heard in college was "would you cal your country your c*nt?"

That aside, there are plenty of idiots in fraternities. BUT there are also plenty of idiots not in fraternities.

So if we are going to let a few bad apples spoil the bushel, then I guess this also signified the beginning of the end of the world.