Can't keep up with *stuff*!

[Anonymous]

I can't stand my house anymore. It's reasonably tidy--when I (and only I!) put in the effort to keep it so. But there's just so much stuff that comes in and, I gather, not enough going out. My kids are in elementary school and middle school now, so it's not even about toys anymore but just stuff--papers, shoes, books, jackets, hair brushes, etc. No one picks up after themselves, and I'm tired of nagging people about it. I am an architect and designer, so the aesthetics of my living environment are important to me. But now my cute house is full of furniture that's fast becoming tatty, along with scuffed wooden floors, chipping paint, marred walls, and dust and dog hair everywhere. A cleaner comes 2x a month, but I pretty much do the rest unless I nag, nag, nag. And even then it's still a battle to keep up with laundry, decluttering, and household repair tasks.

Does anyone have any tips for keeping up with the constant flow of stuff, or with getting kids to want to chip in with housework, or with maintaining a house in general? Or should I just suck it up for another 9 or 10 years, when my not-very-neatnik kids leave the nest? And please, I beg of you, nobody tell me to "bless this mess"--this mess makes me very unhappy.

[Anonymous]

What does your DH say? Is he lax about cleaning? Is he a messmaker too?

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at the "FlyLady" system or the "unf*ckmyhabitat" system. Both very similar, but one mentions God and the other one, um, doesn't. I'm trying to to follow Flylady and have tasks that my DH and I do every day. Check them out.

[Anonymous]

DH likes a tidy house, and is good about cleaning up the kitchen but not much else. He gets a pass from me, though, because he contributes a lot (deals with the cars, the yard, does a lot of the grocery shopping, cooks on the weekends, packs school lunches, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Make it a rule - at the end of the day, all personal items must be removed from the common area - LR, kitchen, or at least put in bins, out of the way. I do this with my ES kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at the "FlyLady" system or the "unf*ckmyhabitat" system. Both very similar, but one mentions God and the other one, um, doesn't. I'm trying to to follow Flylady and have tasks that my DH and I do every day. Check them out.

I've read the former, but never heard of the latter--Thank you so much, PP! Sounds right up my alley...

[Anonymous]

I demand my kids clean. Regularly. Which means daily. Five minutes when you come home from school and five to ten minutes before bed.

There are some things I've accepted - backpacks will always live near the front door rather than in their bedrooms, as will shoes (no shoe house). So we created a neat space. It only took me throwing their book bags out the front door once for them to get with the program.

If you want a snack, you eat it in the kitchen or den (if it's a neat snack), and you do not leave that room without taking your mess and making it clean. Dishes go in the dishwasher, any spilled crumbs get vacuumed. If you want to cook, you clean as you go. Once the food is cooking, you clean the prep stuff. After eating, you clean what had been hot bc by then it's cool.

There is a shredder. There is a box next to the shredder for all papers to be shredded. There is another box for recycling. Use them. It only took me dumping the contents of the shredder all over the floor of DD's room once for her to get the memo that she needs to use the shredder.

There is no banging into walls, kicking walls, etc. Accidents happen and that's fine. But there's no ball-playing in the house. It is on the kids to make their friends clean up after each playdate. I will give a 15 minute warning before the kid is scheduled to leave so they have time to clean up. If my kid doesn't make the friend do it, my kid has to do it. If it happens a second time that kid is not welcome back.

The kids dust when I tell them to dust. I give them a section of a room at a time so they learn. Then they are given the whole room. I will not yell. I refuse to be pulled into yelling. If you do not do your chores you do not get your privileges - I'm sure I can easily enjoy using that iPod Touch you seem so attached to.

[Anonymous]

We do 10 minute cleanups before going to bed. My threat - used once - is that if I have to clean it up I'm putting everything in a garbage bag in the garage for a while. Everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand my house anymore. It's reasonably tidy--when I (and only I!) put in the effort to keep it so. But there's just so much stuff that comes in and, I gather, not enough going out. My kids are in elementary school and middle school now, so it's not even about toys anymore but just stuff--papers, shoes, books, jackets, hair brushes, etc. No one picks up after themselves, and I'm tired of nagging people about it. I am an architect and designer, so the aesthetics of my living environment are important to me. But now my cute house is full of furniture that's fast becoming tatty, along with scuffed wooden floors, chipping paint, marred walls, and dust and dog hair everywhere. A cleaner comes 2x a month, but I pretty much do the rest unless I nag, nag, nag. And even then it's still a battle to keep up with laundry, decluttering, and household repair tasks.

Does anyone have any tips for keeping up with the constant flow of stuff, or with getting kids to want to chip in with housework, or with maintaining a house in general? Or should I just suck it up for another 9 or 10 years, when my not-very-neatnik kids leave the nest? And please, I beg of you, nobody tell me to "bless this mess"--this mess makes me very unhappy.

My kids (boys) help clean the house. They are in HS. The learning curve is long and it took more work teaching them to clean when they were 9 and 10. However, the payoff now is great. They will clean bathrooms, mop and sweep floors... Laundry is still a work in progress. Folding seems to be an issue and remembering to pull my shirts out before putting the rest in the dryer- but otherwise it is fine.

[Anonymous]

Stop nagging. Have a sit-down and explain what their daily/weekly responsibilities are In detail. Then explain what the consequences will be if they fail to meet their responsibilities. Then post a reminder somewhere. When it is time for them to do their chores for the day, remind them ONE TIME. If they fail to do it, execute the consequence. Repeat until they figure out that you are not kidding.

For my kids, they have daily, weekly and monthly jobs.

Daily: before they are allowed to do anything other than homework/music practice, they must:
1) hang backpacks and coats and put shoes away,
2) tidy rooms (when we first started, I would go in and say "I see X number of things out of place" so they had some guidance)
3) do one "job"--we have a jar full of slips of paper that say things like "empty the trash cans downstairs and replace bags" or "use a lysol wipe to clean your bathroom sink" or "sweep dining room." They get something different every time, but each one take 5 min max and it keeps the house going smoothly.

For use the consequence is simply that they have to earn the right to choose how to spend their time and anythig they try to use (tv, toy, book) before completeing these 3 things is gone for 1 week.

Our weekly list is that they each help make and clean up from dinner one night per week a d they are responsible for doing 1 load of their laundry each weekend (wash, dry, fold and put away).

Monthly, I pick a Saturday and we overhaul kids' rooms. We sort through all art projects and store, photograph or toss, we put away all toys and projects, we sort through clothes and make a list of anything they need in the next size, and we vacuum their floor and dust shelves. While working, we also talk about their plans for the next month and make note of anything they want to work on or need help with. Takes 1-2 hours and afterwards we all go do something fun together.

[Anonymous]

My kids are in elementary school and middle school now, so it's not even about toys anymore but just stuff--papers, shoes, books, jackets, hair brushes, etc. No one picks up after themselves, and I'm tired of nagging people about it.

BTDT wasting my breath. I solved this problem you describe in the quote by getting a large clear storage bin and putting everything not picked up in it everyday. I did a sweep nightly. When anyone whined about this or that missing, I pointed to the box in the laundry room. If it wasn't in the box, it was not my problem.

Swiffer dusters and mops for in between cleanings. The kids can do that.

Don't bother with furniture until they leave home. Find some nice slipcovers. I just bought some from Wayfair for pet hair. You can even buy those in bundles according to what size you need. I bought contrasting colors and they are fantastic. Washable and can be vacuumed or a lint roller pass picks up hair.

Your kids are old enough now so they should each be given a task according to what you know they can do. If you want a tight ship, make whatever you decide stick. Once the objective is firmly in place, never let a task be skipped. When you do that you will lose.

Dad was enforcer in our house. I wrote up the jobs to be done and by whom on a white board put where all could see. He made sure they did their jobs and his too. No fighting, no crying, no back talk, just do the job. BTW, each job was barely 10 mins. to complete. Things run smoothly and get done. Punishment for not completing said job ? You don't get any snacks, after dinner desert, no games, tv, phone, computer time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I demand my kids clean. Regularly. Which means daily. Five minutes when you come home from school and five to ten minutes before bed.

There are some things I've accepted - backpacks will always live near the front door rather than in their bedrooms, as will shoes (no shoe house). So we created a neat space. It only took me throwing their book bags out the front door once for them to get with the program.

If you want a snack, you eat it in the kitchen or den (if it's a neat snack), and you do not leave that room without taking your mess and making it clean. Dishes go in the dishwasher, any spilled crumbs get vacuumed. If you want to cook, you clean as you go. Once the food is cooking, you clean the prep stuff. After eating, you clean what had been hot bc by then it's cool.

There is a shredder. There is a box next to the shredder for all papers to be shredded. There is another box for recycling. Use them. It only took me dumping the contents of the shredder all over the floor of DD's room once for her to get the memo that she needs to use the shredder.

There is no banging into walls, kicking walls, etc. Accidents happen and that's fine. But there's no ball-playing in the house. It is on the kids to make their friends clean up after each playdate. I will give a 15 minute warning before the kid is scheduled to leave so they have time to clean up. If my kid doesn't make the friend do it, my kid has to do it. If it happens a second time that kid is not welcome back.

The kids dust when I tell them to dust. I give them a section of a room at a time so they learn. Then they are given the whole room. I will not yell. I refuse to be pulled into yelling. If you do not do your chores you do not get your privileges - I'm sure I can easily enjoy using that iPod Touch you seem so attached to.

I know you probably get this often but will you marry me? I don't care what your gender is, I'll make it work.

[Anonymous]

I recommend reading this blog.

http://www.aslobcomesclean.com/

She's written an e-book on teaching kids to clean, and she writes about daily routines and decluttering.

[Anonymous]

This is a perfect reason why people opt for a larger new build. With a new build you have separate entrances and places to keep dirty things and organized.

[Anonymous]

Move to a smaller house in a warm climate where you can use your outdoor space year round. In the moving process, ruthlessly cull, cut, organize into neatly categorized storage bins, donate, and/or throw out your accumulations.