To tell or not to tell

[Anonymous]

So through the grapevine i have heard that my very good friends D who is a junior away at college is "dating" a college professor, my D told my son who kind of slipped in telling me.Then I asked my D about this morning and she first got very angry and yelled then calmed down and made me swear to not tell anyone. Do I mind my own business or tell my friend, I feel like if she ever found out that I knew this and didn't tell her it could cause lasting damage to our friendship...I would want to know!
I am uncomfortable and really not sure what to do. I thought most colleges prohibited this kind of relationship?

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. Not your business.

[Anonymous]

Also if you say something you will guarantee that your children will never confide in you again.

[Anonymous]

I would stay out of it. She's over 18.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell. If you friend telegraphs any strange changes in her DD's behavior then I would re-think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. She's over 18.

This. She's old enough to make this stupid mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. She's over 18.

This. She's old enough to make this stupid mistake.

+1

[Anonymous]

Mind your own business, mom.

[Anonymous]

They're both consenting adults. I hope it's not one of her own professors, just for the impropriety of THAT situation, but no one's business but the two involved in the relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're both consenting adults. I hope it's not one of her own professors, just for the impropriety of THAT situation, but no one's business but the two involved in the relationship

+1. I think it would kick up a crap load of drama for a relationship that may not even last the school year that involved two adults. Unless you think there is a threat to her physical or mental health like involved in a cult, was assaulted, abusive relationship etc, I would not get involved. I would like to think/hope my daughters would not get involved in dating a married man or their boss or subordinate or client for ethical reasons but there is really no control over that as a parent.

I think some of the other dating things about what is a good match for you a person you learns through trial and error and you hope your child develops good judgment bout those things over time. I think many of us have dated the older guy/different stage of life like 22 dating a 32 year old or the shady guy with an excuse for everything or the guy where you as a female may pay for everything. You live and you learn so by the time you have children and/or get married or settle in to a LTR you have figured out what you want and need.

[Anonymous]

It's wrong. But she is an adult.

[Anonymous]

Call your D back. Say, there are a few reasons this situation worries me..." Say, I will not tell, but I need you to stay aware of the situation and be alert to any problems that arise. I also need you to let her know she needs to seek help if those do arise. You or she can call me if you need anything.