Should I share a report with the school that indicates my DD MAY have ADD obsessive compulsive...?

[Anonymous]

We took our DD to a specialist for evaluation - the private school she attends did not ask us to, but we did it on our own based on teacher's input regarding DD's outbursts in class and other behavioral issues such as constantly correcting peers and difficulty transitioning (and shouting behavior that would result from other scenario).

The psychologist has given us a detailed report that indicates that DD is highly gifted, but it also uses words like "at risk" for "anxiety disorder" or "obsessive compulsive" disorder based on DD's difficulty transitioning between tasks and her "rigid" way of thinking about certain things.

Is there any benefit or harm in sharing such a report with her school? The psychologist also prepared a separate list of recommendations that we could give (alone and separate from the report) to the school. The recommendations are fairly benign and are things like: make eye contact with her before you talk to her; tell her in advance what is going on so she can transition; use code word to help her settle down and control outbursts, etc.

DD is in K and attends a traditional private school (non-progressive).

[Anonymous]

Hi OP -

What I am about to say comes from OUR experience in a similar situation years ago when DS was in K at a traditional private. While not the same DX, there was a similar progression of events like you described - teachers mentioning things...us making our own decision to do testing...and DS getting AT RISK diagnosis for certain things. FWIW - all of his AT RISKS turned into actual diagnosis within a year or two.

Because your DD is in a traditional private, progressive or not, if her behaviors become too disruptive she will be counseled out of the school....you sharing your report with them will probably just push that to happen faster.

I would spend my time mentally preparing for that to happen, and researching schools where she would be more successful. Her high IQ means nothing when the behaviors are disruptive. A private would rather have a kid with average IQ and no social quirks and disruptive behaviors, than a high IQ kid with these challenges.

So yes, share the report. It will only help. As hard as it might be, your DD will be better for it.

[Anonymous]

Didn't you post this in the private schools forum already??

[Anonymous]

I think you should share the info that would help your teacher teach your child. And you can let them know that you are trying to find answers still to what is causing her behaviors. That is all true and accurate.

I would communicate with the teacher that you are open to trying any strategies that they suggest. And just in general try to convey to them that you are working hard on this issue.

The current school may turn out not to be a good fit for your daughter but I know how it feels to worry about not being asked back. I guess that's the nice way to put it! You want to make the decision about whether the school is working for your child before the private school makes it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you post this in the private schools forum already??

Yeah - I thought cross-posting was not allowed. that said, OP I think you're pretty much getting the same advise over there because those peeps don't want their precious snowflakes poisoned by the toxins of a disruptive child.

OP...welcome to the dark side.....and hold on because its gonna be a bumpy ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you post this in the private schools forum already??

Yeah - I thought cross-posting was not allowed. that said, OP I think you're pretty much getting the same advise over there because those peeps don't want their precious snowflakes poisoned by the toxins of a disruptive child.

OP...welcome to the dark side.....and hold on because its gonna be a bumpy ride.

As a mother of an NT and a SN needs child I find this really offensive. I have my NT son in a mainstream private and my SN son in a school that meets his needs best. The truth is that I want my NT son to spend his school days not having to worry about other children in his class the way he does his brother -- so I don't want kids with needs that cannot met by his school in his school. My NT son is not a snowflake and my SN son is a wonderful boy with lots of gifts but he doesn't belong in a mainstream private as HIS needs would not be met there and his presence would affect the learning of other children.

[Anonymous]

When someone first posts something I think they aren't sure sometimes where to post it. Or perhaps they wonder if they'll get different feedback from different areas. So they might post in 2 places. Either way, I'm not sure that's the biggest crime.
Answer her question.

My answer: I think you should tell the teachers because if not your daughter doesn't have the best chance to learn how to manage her behaviors and can't access the education available at the school well. These behaviors she has won't magically go away without a concerted effort and help from her parents and teachers. So the best thing would be to share evening. However, it will probably hasten her departure from the school because private schools often have a narrower window of children they will accept. But honestly you want to find a school where she will be accepted and helped not viewed only as a difficulty.

[Anonymous]

It may be the best fit in the long run to be at a private school for children with special needs. Oakwood, McLean school etc.