Is she flirting with me?

[Anonymous]

A longtime colleague and friend told me she is not excited about the sex she is having with her new male friend. She is widowed, I am in a sexless marriage. When we go for drinks with co-workers, she often steers our conversation to sex. What do you (ladies, in particular) think is going on here? Am I just reading too much into this, given my situation at home? Is she teasing or flirting?

[Anonymous]

Widow here. She may have been out of the dating scene for so long, that she is not aware how she comes across. Since she is a coworker, she is out of bounds for you.

Sorry about the sexless marriage. A lot of married men at work hit on me when they learn that I am a widow. I always feel insulted and think less of them.

[Anonymous]

Does she know you are in a sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she know you are in a sexless marriage?

Like I said, we've known each other for a long time, so we are quite open with each other in conversation. I don't think I've ever used the words "sexless marriage" with her, but she knows I am not fulfilled sexually.

[Anonymous]

Here's my take. She is open to a relationship, but you are going to have to close the deal and it is going to have to be "the real thing." Hearts and flowers. Not fuck buddies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take. She is open to a relationship, but you are going to have to close the deal and it is going to have to be "the real thing." Hearts and flowers. Not fuck buddies.

But if she wants more than a FWB, why is she telling me her current friend is great, except for the sexual turn-on part?

[Anonymous]

OP - Did she have a good marriage?

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say. She may actually just view you as a friend, so she feels comfortable talking about these topics with you.

She could be an "over-sharer".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Did she have a good marriage?

Yes she did. A good guy, with a bad heart. Sudden death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she know you are in a sexless marriage?

Like I said, we've known each other for a long time, so we are quite open with each other in conversation. I don't think I've ever used the words "sexless marriage" with her, but she knows I am not fulfilled sexually.

Well, what was your intent when you shared details of your sexless marriage? Sounds like you've been putting out feelers and want validation to cheat.

amirite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she know you are in a sexless marriage?

Like I said, we've known each other for a long time, so we are quite open with each other in conversation. I don't think I've ever used the words "sexless marriage" with her, but she knows I am not fulfilled sexually.

Well, what was your intent when you shared details of your sexless marriage? Sounds like you've been putting out feelers and want validation to cheat.

amirite?

Actually, no. It was similar to what she was doing. She asked, I told her things weren't all I would like them to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to say. She may actually just view you as a friend, so she feels comfortable talking about these topics with you.

She could be an "over-sharer".

+1 I was going to ask: who the hell talks about their sex life or about sex in detail with people from work - super inappropriate. Does not sound remotely professional and sounds like a harassment/hostile work environment lawsuit just waiting to happen...even if the talk is "out for drinks after work".

If this is real, and she is the one initiating this, then she's definitely interested/flirting - she's trying to introduce sex into your conversation and therefore relationship.

But, I smell a troll.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. She probably thinks of you as a friend and since you talked about your sex life she's talking about hers. And unless she feels like lying and saying everything is great, then of course she will tell you the truth if things aren't going well. Has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to say. She may actually just view you as a friend, so she feels comfortable talking about these topics with you.

She could be an "over-sharer".

+1 I was going to ask: who the hell talks about their sex life or about sex in detail with people from work - super inappropriate. Does not sound remotely professional and sounds like a harassment/hostile work environment lawsuit just waiting to happen...even if the talk is "out for drinks after work".

If this is real, and she is the one initiating this, then she's definitely interested/flirting - she's trying to introduce sex into your conversation and therefore relationship.

But, I smell a troll.

We are colleagues, but work together directly. I am not her superior and she is not mine, we are on about the sane professional level. I'm not a troll and I'm not saying I would do anything, even if she is flirting. Just wanted to be up front about liking the attention, if that's what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to say. She may actually just view you as a friend, so she feels comfortable talking about these topics with you.

She could be an "over-sharer".

+1 I was going to ask: who the hell talks about their sex life or about sex in detail with people from work - super inappropriate. Does not sound remotely professional and sounds like a harassment/hostile work environment lawsuit just waiting to happen...even if the talk is "out for drinks after work".

If this is real, and she is the one initiating this, then she's definitely interested/flirting - she's trying to introduce sex into your conversation and therefore relationship.

But, I smell a troll.

We are colleagues, but work together directly. I am not her superior and she is not mine, we are on about the sane professional level. I'm not a troll and I'm not saying I would do anything, even if she is flirting. Just wanted to be up front about liking the attention, if that's what it is.

Oops... Should have said DON'T work together directly.