Lost Trust in a Friend leading to Family Friendship Break up

[Anonymous]

I have this friend that did some things that made me lose trust in her. I have made up with her but I don't think things can go back to the way things were before. My friend is very possessive and demanding and had stressed me out prior to the incident where I lost trust. She has a daughter close to the same age as my daughter - Middle school age. She had always wanted her daughter to have sleep overs almost every weekend and seemed jealous that my daughter had other friends. Her daughter can be very possessive too and I think she learns this trait from her mother. I've caught her daughter in some lies and I don't think it is a good influence on my daughter. Anyway my daughter have had a falling out with her daughter too probably because what happened with me an my friend. Anyway, my daughter did things with her daughter which I had expressly forbid. And I said you can still hang out with her daughter but you need to be aware of what she is asking you to do and if it is against our rules then don't do it. So since these actions had gotten her in trouble she doesn't really want to hang out with her friend too. Anyway, we were friends with the husband too and my husband has been pressuring me to get back to together with their family. I told him he is giving me pressure about getting back together. Anyway, I am filled with guilt. But I feel I should go with my gut. I have a tendency if you lose my trust once I basically get really angry and cut you off. I always feel I am the nice one and people will take advantage of me. Anyway, she keeps contacting me and inviting me to do things but I just sort of make up excuses and get out of it. It feels sad that we had fun together but she is asking more of me than I want to give.

[Anonymous]

OK.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a complicated situation that you have made up your mind about. Not sure what you are looking for here.

[Anonymous]

Go with your gut.

[Anonymous]

At the beginning our your OP you said that you have made up with your friend but from the rest of what you wrote it sounds like you haven't at all. You need to own that. If you are still upset you need to go and talk with your friend. Tell her how her actions have made you feel and that you are having trouble trusting her to watch the girls.

You seem to have made it clear to your daughter - but have you made it clear to your friend? Did your friend really know that you had a problem with x, y, z?

Regardless, it sounds like you don't like your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the beginning our your OP you said that you have made up with your friend but from the rest of what you wrote it sounds like you haven't at all. You need to own that. If you are still upset you need to go and talk with your friend. Tell her how her actions have made you feel and that you are having trouble trusting her to watch the girls.

You seem to have made it clear to your daughter - but have you made it clear to your friend? Did your friend really know that you had a problem with x, y, z?

Regardless, it sounds like you don't like your friend.

OP Here: Oh I have talked to her. I told her she stressed me out. I said it's hard for me to say No to her since she pushes my boundaries. I told her things that have bothered me. I think she is trying to back off and not be so demanding. But there are undertones when I talk to her I can still feel the jealousy under there. It's like I can't trust her again.

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband that he can be friends with the husband but you will pick your own friends.