October Due Dates: Please Join us!
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Anonymous
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LJ - I'm sorry about the messed up lab orders and the uncertainty of your results.
I too decided to go ahead and take the NT scan without thinking twice about it (mainly so I could see the baby with the ultrasound) but never once did I think...well, what if the results aren't to my favor? At my last visit, my OB explained the AFP screening (to screen for spina bifida) and asked if I wanted to go forward with it. Without blinking an eye, I just said yes. Luckily, they weren't able to draw my blood right then and there and I ended up having a few days to think it over. During that time, I realized that there's really little to no chance that I would terminate this pregnancy so why even do the testing? If I were to get unfavorable results, I will just worry myself even more than I already am for the rest of the pregnancy. So I decided to just opt out of the AFP and some other testing (Iforget what it was for) at my 20 week visit. I hope that your retest will give you more reassurance. Keep us posted! - Peanut |
Anonymous
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Hi all,
Raspberry here. Very interesting to hear everyone's experiences with the genetic testing. This is our first, and at our practice everything was presented as "this is what most people do, you find out lots of stuff, etc". So although we knew it was technically optional, it's not like we've done this before, and if a doctor is telling you to do it, why would I really object, you know? If we have a second, I think I will definitely decline all of it though. It has caused me far more stress wondering if my insurance will cover it and trying to figure out what the results mean than the peace of mind I've gotten from "normal" results. Semi-related...a couple people asked about the travel I did recently. I was in Zambia, and I think I felt okay going because 1) I had been there before, 2) Everything looked ok at the most recent dr's appt, and 3) I was armed with the name of an OB practice that I knew had treated other Westerners. Our non profit does a lot of work with pediatric health issues, so I also felt like if I had a really bad emergency I could just call the office director (an American) and say "help! what do i do?!" (As an aside, we had some friends who took a trip to mexico towards the end of her second trimester and ended up delivering super early. The baby had to be evacuated to Miami and the mom had to stay in Mexico for a while. The baby is doing well now, but that's always been kind of our "worst case scenario" for travel, so I think the rest of our travel before October will be domestic.) But, ANYway, while I was in Zambia, I had the chance to visit one of the clinics that we support and there are volunteers that go out into the surrounding (very under-resourced) neighborhood, door by door, and identify kids with disabilities and try to offer the families support. We met a few of the families and kids they were helping and, I don't know, it just made something kind of "click" in my brain. I realized that as awful as it would be for us (at any point) to realize something was wrong with our baby, we would have the resources to handle it, and we would figure it out. Not that I'm normally at ALL one of those "they have it worse elsewhere, so my problems don't matter" kind of people, but for some reason seeing all of that up close (kids with severe problems, whose families had tons of other kids to care for, so they didn't even have shoes) just kind of reset the stress that the testing was causing. Hopefully I can maintain this zen state a little longer  And definitely not going for any other testing options, though I think we've already hit most of them...
Anyway, sorry for the Wednesday afternoon ramble. I've been kind of out of it at work the last couple days, I think in part because we found out....we are having a girl! Since it's our first, I didn't really have a strong opinion one way or the other, but this is letting us both feel like things are a little more "real". Hope everyone else's afternoon is going okay! |
Anonymous
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Raspberry--congrats on your little girl! So exciting!
LJ, still thinking of you and hoping you get some resolution soon, one way or the other. I can totally see your husband's perspective on wanting to stop with testing. If you do opt for the cell-free DNA tests, they should be covered given your quad screen results. The companies offering them are also providing financial assistance in case insurance won't pay. All: brunch on Monday of Memorial Day weekend at LPQ in Dupont sounds great to me! I'll also keep an eye out for places that might be serving brunch that would day and would take reservations (and are still in that area, assuming it's convenient for folks). |
Anonymous
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I am November Interloper #2. I'm the one that posted a long time ago after Poppy or Peanut (sorry I can't remember) was talking about how adorable their LO was during the NT ultrasound. I had not really thought about how our baby would look like a real baby by that point and it was so fun to think about. We had our NT scan on Thursday. I had done the bloodwork a week before so we did the ultrasound and then met with Dr. Nies (this was at Antenatal Testing Center at Inova Fairfax). Ultrasound was awesome. No soft markers. Bloodwork was terrible - consistent with Down Syndrome. 1:65 odds. My age risk would be something like 1:350 so this was tough news. Dr. Nies was great, explained everything and all of the different testing options we could choose or not choose, if we wanted. Like many of you, we never really expected the results to come back with bad news! But I don't know why I was looking for some kind of assurance when before this I never had any worry over chromosomal abnormalities. We went to GIVF on Friday to meet with a genetic counselor and ultimately decided to do a CVS. We just wanted the certainty of a diagnostic result and to be able to prepare if we got news of DS without "hoping" which I had a lot of guilt about. Also, if we had done Verify, they would have wanted us to do CVS or Amnio to confirm a positive and I just wanted to be done with it. But since CVS is obviously invasive and has a risk, it was a really tough decision. Dr. Stern did the CVS and he honestly could not have been better. I had some soreness at the needle site on Friday afternoon andlaid around all weekend and felt fine. We got the FISH results on Monday and everything came back normal. After such a stressful weekend, I will definitely think a lot harder about this kind of testing in the future. Especially given the high instances of false positive - or elevated risk or whatever - it was really a maddening experience. Just wanted to share this. I love reading all of your posts, especially since you all are a few weeks ahead of me. It's like a little window into what I can expect and I love the advice!
- November Interloper #2, aka Turkey |
Anonymous
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Wow, I try to keep up and ya’ll are flying through this board! So, let me try to catch up. First, I hope everyone had a great mother’s day!
Jin, word on the maternity pants. I have found a new love. Poppy, I use our vitamix on a daily basis. I ADORE it. LJ, I’m with you on the gagging. I had on an episode of NCIS on the other night – a gruesome scene on it even made me end up on the bathroom floor begging DH to change the channel. About your test – I know that must be hard. I’m sorry. I think I saw a posting on this forum somewhere that compared that testing to a pumpkin patch. This is the analogy they gave: “My advice is sure, let yourself be unnerved, but every time a fearful thought creeps in, imagine yourself in a pumpkin patch. There are 128 pumpkins. One of them has a billion dollars underneath it, 127 of them have a dollar. Which one do you think you'd get?” I know it doesn’t help much, but I remember reading it before my NT results came back, and it seemed to somehow put me at ease. And with the uncertainties in the actual testing procedures – it sounds like there are probably some errors that happened. I like how Pumpkin put in perspective too. One way or another, I’ll be thinking of you. Pumpkin, I think my bump goes up and down on a normal basis – is that normal? BTW, I got that same listserv posting about the yard sale. I’m planning on going. Would love to try and meet up! Peanut, glad to hear little peanut is doing well – I hope you feel better soon! Raspberry – I would love to hear more about your travels – they sound fascinating. And congrats on the girl! Nov. Interloper (Turkey) – so glad things worked out! I can’t imagine how much stress that is. On my end, I think I need to start joining a prenatal yoga class – I think Jin, you mentioned you go to one? And someone else mentioned brookland – I’d love to try one! I had done some basic yoga pre-pregnancy, even attempted bikram at one point, but not much past downward dog. I have started working out again, and even tried a few short runs. It makes me feel a little more like myself, which is nice. About Memorial Day weekend – I’m heading home early from a trip b/c I think I may have to go into work on Monday. But, if not, I’d love to crash this party. And…my exciting news! I’m at 19 weeks, 1 day, and I think this past Sunday I may have felt some movement – maybe digestion, who knows? But, when I woke up at 3am this morning to use the facilities – I’m pretty sure I felt something swimming in there! Fingers crossed. If I don’t feel it again, I may attempt with a home Doppler, a friend gave me hers, but I’m holding off for a few more days. -Sepi |
Anonymous
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Sepi, yay movement!!! That's so exciting! I'm glad you're feeling more like yourself.
Turkey, so sorry to hear about your scare. I'm glad things worked out, but how awful to have to go through that. Ugh. Re: brunch, I'm thinking of starting a short brunch thread, just to get a headcount. Does anyone object? I figure it might make planning easier, in case folks want to quickly comment on that and save our longer updates for this thread. Poppy (and, oops, was 14:12 from yesterday, too) |
Anonymous
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sounds fine to me, Poppy
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Anonymous
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Hi everyone, it's November Interloper 1 here (Critter). It's been great to hear everyone's updates, especially as people are finding out about the gender. LJ, I'm really sorry to hear about your testing woes, I can imagine how nerve wracking and frustrating that is. Hang in there and do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself right now. Turkey, sorry to hear about your scare, too! Testing is definitely a blessing and a curse. And tricky waters to navigate since there is such an information gap between provider and patient.
I posted the following in the November thread, but wanted to post it here too, since you're all so wonderfully responsive, supportive, and full of good advice. Any thoughts would be much appreciated! We had the first trimester screen today, and everything looked good- the baby was moving all over the place, and I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow! We're thinking it's probably time to start thinking about telling people, but my husband and I are both pretty private people, and thinking about sharing the news is definitely giving me anxiety! I'm hoping other people can share when they've told and what they've done, and if they have any suggestions? We don't want to make a big deal about it, but we'll have to let the cat out of the bag sooner or later! We haven't told family or anyone, so it seems really daunting right now, but I'm not sure why or what I'm afraid of. Thanks everyone! |
Anonymous
Hi Critter! Plum here. We told our family from the very start (IVF), our core group of friends the end of Week 13 (close to 14 weeks), and I told work at 15 weeks. Not planning to make a FB post about it but I may send an email out to a more extended group of friends after my 20 week scan. We were also super, super nervous about telling -- both because "announcing" feels odd, and because we are superstitious. I don't think there is any rush if you don't want to tell -- you can always wait until 20 weeks when you have a pretty good sense that everything is totally fine.
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jindc
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This is exactly what we're doing - I only told my mom and best girlfriend about the IVF while it was going on, and we told extended family at week 13. We've told friends piecemeal (when we see them), but nothing on facebook. I've thought about an email after the 20 week scan. Definitely hear you on the superstitious thing. |
Anonymous
| Pumpkin here - will write more later but I hope both November interlopers would consider our lunch date - I guess I can't speak for everyone but I think it would be lovely if you joined us also! See separate thread started by Poppy. More later because there are so many great updates to reply to here - but I'm behind on some work stuff so that's all for now! |
Anonymous
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Omg ladies! It's Sepi- I can't help but tell someone- my little guy is definitely swimming around in there- such a crazy feeling! Is anyone else feeling this?
Critter- we told our families, and once I was definitely showing, told some close friends. I don't really need to tell work, they figured if our, but I sent an email to my boss anyways (I work offsite). I think we're planning an email once the 20 week is done. |
Anonymous
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LJ here.
So yesterday I was able to rush over to the hospital to get the right bloodwork done. It took HOURS because the genetic counselor had left for the day so I had trouble getting the order. Then the lab LOST my order. I waited for an hour to get called and they were like closing when they realized they lost my order. It turns out it had been somehow attached to someone else's labwork. It was like 50 minutes after closing time by the time they found my order and drew the blood. I was really about to lose it by then - I cannot believe how difficult this process has been. It is a good thing I don't believe in bad omens as these would seem like a lot of bad omens. I wish I would get the results tomorrow, but I am sure that it probably won't be until early next week. I had trouble finding out from my insurance company whether they will cover the cell free test. I will follow up with the genetic counselor to get more info to check again with insurance. Thanks jindc - I have been trying not to get too bitter about the fact that someones careless mistake has caused me so much time and anxiety. Pumpkin - I think part of the issue is that I have seen three different doctors at my practice. The doctor who ordered the second trimester bloodwork had not seen me before and I am not at all sure that she knew anything about the lack of certainty about my due date. I am definitely trying not to lose myself in worry, but I have had concerns really ever since I was in the ER about six weeks ago. I just started to trust that everything was going right and now this has opened me to a whole new world of worries. Sleepy - I dunno, I cannot imagine not finding out the sex! I have never been patient that way. Kudos to you if you can hold out. Peanut - Knowing what I know now, I think I would have just opted out of the whole second round of testing. I think it is probably better that way, particularly because, like you, I am not planning on terminating for any results. I will definitely keep you guys posted. Interloper 2 - Sorry to hear you have also dealt with the uncertainty of a "positive" result. Very glad to hear that the results of the CVS were good. I had no idea how much anxiety all of this could cause during pregnancy. Glad you got some reassurance quickly. Sepi - Sorry you are dealing with the gagging too. It is not very fun! Thanks for the reassurance. I know that we are talking a tiny <1% chance. I am trying to keep that in perspective. Movement sounds so exciting! I have felt a few twinges of something, but nothing I can call movement with 100% certainty. Critter - Thanks for the support. I told pretty early really - my mom and sisters right away. Other family around 11 weeks as I was making a trip out to California to visit them anyway. Around week 13 I told more broadly and by week 16 or so I told my colleagues and students. Hope you all are doing well. |
Anonymous
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Pumpkin here.
Raspberry, not sure if I replied already or not to your post but if I did, but I just wanted to say your job sounds incredible. If I had my life to do over again, I would be doing something like this (I know it's not so easy as just deciding to do it). Thank you for sharing the inspiring stuff you do. I'm also glad that you got some peace and perspective about your own pregnancy. I think travel alone can offer that - but the things you see must really amplify that. My FIL is involved with a medical charity and each year we say we're going to do a trip with him (though neither DH nor I are doctors, there is lots we could do to set up, etc) and after this new baby gets here and we get ourselves sorted we're going to make that happen. LJ, my blood is boiling on your behalf! Oh my goodness, people! So sorry you had to deal with all of that. Crazy! I know people can have an off day but this is just beyond the pale. Do you like your doctors a lot otherwise? Or were you saying you'd planned to switch? Funny you mention seeing different providers. I loved that about my first doctor, Dr. Desouza, that he was the only doctor I saw. I like wisdom so far and have only been to two appointments so I've only seen one midwife but that's kind of a worrying thing about rotating through more than one provider. I think once I meet all of the midwives I'll try to schedule with just one of them - especially toward the end. Also, woo-hoo, someone quoted me! I was the one who made the pumpkin patch allusion on another thread...it wasn't my original work though. I knicked it from a blogger and now can't find the source. I do try to credit him though, whoever he may be! Poppy, thank you for starting the reservations thread! We definitely needed that boost. Peanut, I'm glad you feel at peace with your testing and Turkey, wow, that sounds frightening. I know a lot of women obviously closer to my age, who do the CVS or amnio right off the bat and skip all of the screening stuff. At least you know for sure what you are dealing with! Now that's great peace of mind. Sepi, I'm feeling movement but I'm behind the rest of you ladies and it's been sporadic and I definitely would not swear in a court of law I was 100 percent sure it was movement. I felt it at 16 weeks or so last time, I'm 16 weeks today so I hope it gets more obvious and consistent. It is such an amazing feeling, though! I'm the one who mentioned the yoga in Brookland. The session apparently began on Tuesday but I didn't make it as I didn't realize it started. She's going to extend the series by one day for anyone who did not make it to the first class. There is also a Sunday make up option if you are ever out of town, etc. Here is a link; the class is Tuesday nights at 6:30. I haven't actually signed up but will be doing that tomorrow and plan to attend next Tues. Let me know if you think you'd go - and anyone else! Register Here: http://clients.mindbodyonline.com/ws.asp?studioid=2371&stype=-102&sTG=11&sVT=92&sView=day&sTrn=100000001 Critter, I told my sister and a close friend (who also got pregnant the same month) the morning I got my positive test, we told DH's parents and his sister later that week, the rest of my family at 14 weeks, a few very close friends in the later part of the first trimester, also my boss. Otherwise I didn't mention it. At about 15 weeks I had a biz trip with tons of my colleagues and my not drinking and the slight bump I had made it kind of obvious, so I told closer colleagues. we haven't made any facebook or more public announcements at all yet. Like many of you, sometime after 20 week u/s we'll probably come out of the closet more fully, though with the second it's harder to hide. Also, my son knows, so it's not like we can tell him not to talk about it! Then again, fortunately he is not on facebook. I'm private also and being older this time. I think I just want to get to the point where I'm feeling movement, we've seen baby at 20 week scan, and feel reasonably certain (and as un-anxious as I can ever be) about everything. Then we may put a little post on facebook, just because it almost feels weirder not to. But for whatever reason, I just want to be quieter about this one.
OKay I'm risking carpal tunnel syndrome. You know I write too much! But there were so many updates to respond to! Afraid of how long this will be. :/ |
Anonymous
| LJ, I'm due in October but I'm not a regular on this board. I was in a similar situation with the NT results minus the lab screw up. My results for DS were 1/4000 I think but the results for the other trisomies were around 1/450. My husband and I decided not to do any more testing because we were frustrated and none of the tests were explained to us very well. The uncertainty from these NT results were affecting me more than I would even admit to myself. At 17 weeks I refused to buy maternity clothes despite a huge belly and I was really dragging my feet on telling friends that I don't see often about the pregnancy. At my last regular checkup they brought up the MaterniT21 again and I was in tears. My husband didn't want me to have it done but I realized that the uncertainty brought about by the NT was really affecting me negatively and I truly believe I could handle bad news better than not knowing. Chances are everything is fine with you but from someone who was adamantly opposed to more testing, I think knowing can be better than wondering/worrying for the next 5 months. |