It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my mid-20s employees got married last year. I thought it was weird. I am 47. Most people I know got married in their 30s.

I have noticed this "trend" already.

I’ve noticed it too, although I didn’t know it was a trend. I know a few couples in their 20’s getting married. My niece got married at 22 just after graduating college from a top 25 school.

You're making that up. You're a right wing troll. Or your niece and her husband are just backwater GOP rubes!

She said her niece went to a T25, so why would she be a "GOP rube" in your snark?

It was sarcasm. This was the most popular thread of the day. On the forum blog, the writer quoted someone in the thread said marrying young is a right wing "trad wife" movement. Marrying young is not a partisan movement, it's simply smart, which is why the rich are doing it (again). Waiting until your 30s to get married because you were hoodwinked by propaganda and handcuffed to your pointless job was the biggest scam ever pulled on millennials and generation x.

Yesterday's topics with the most engagement included Gen Z marrying younger:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2024/10/04/update100424

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is full of femcel cat ladies and IVF moms old enough to be pensioned grandmothers who seethe when they see happy young love birds. Sorry you were duped into making terrible life choices. Try to be happy for young people making better choices than you made.

This is so weird! Why do you care At ALL about "femcel cat ladies" or people who use IVF? You also have no idea what they think about anything. I'm neither and had kids without any help, and I've been married over 30 years. Live and let live!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that it's hard to afford a house, and careers aren't stable at all, why wait?

It's actually the opposite of this. Trend is young marriages for rich kids -- who have no student loans, get parent help including with house. Biglaw partner here and I have seen other partners kids getting engaged and married at college (quite often elite) or right after.

Yep. Rich kids are pairing during college and marrying soon after undergrad (and buying a nice house and will pop out easy kids). Not being married or at least engaged by mid to late 20s is going to be a prole tell for Gen Z’ers. Weird lower rung leftovers still using dating apps while their rich peers have kids and a big house.

The rich are a minority by definition so why is their experience relevant to us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that it's hard to afford a house, and careers aren't stable at all, why wait?

It's actually the opposite of this. Trend is young marriages for rich kids -- who have no student loans, get parent help including with house. Biglaw partner here and I have seen other partners kids getting engaged and married at college (quite often elite) or right after.

Yep. Rich kids are pairing during college and marrying soon after undergrad (and buying a nice house and will pop out easy kids). Not being married or at least engaged by mid to late 20s is going to be a prole tell for Gen Z’ers. Weird lower rung leftovers still using dating apps while their rich peers have kids and a big house.

The rich are a minority by definition so why is their experience relevant to us?

Washington is the wealthiest region in the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that it's hard to afford a house, and careers aren't stable at all, why wait?

It's actually the opposite of this. Trend is young marriages for rich kids -- who have no student loans, get parent help including with house. Biglaw partner here and I have seen other partners kids getting engaged and married at college (quite often elite) or right after.

Yep. Rich kids are pairing during college and marrying soon after undergrad (and buying a nice house and will pop out easy kids). Not being married or at least engaged by mid to late 20s is going to be a prole tell for Gen Z’ers. Weird lower rung leftovers still using dating apps while their rich peers have kids and a big house.

The rich are a minority by definition so why is their experience relevant to us?

Washington is the wealthiest region in the country.

And yet...the rich are still a minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

To learn useful life skills like budgeting, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, planning time, saving, making friendships, developing hobbies, maintaining social networks.

You can’t learn all of this while at college? Or while continuing to live in your hometown? Or while living with your spouse or future spouse?

No, not really. In college much of that is arranged for you by outside forces. And you have no income to manage. As to why not with your spouse - it is better to marry someone who's already house trained.

LOL. There’s that bubble again!

I’ve been working since I was in high school. I worked all through college and lived in crappy rental houses with roommates (which we arranged without parental involvement), and I had to use my wages to pay rent and buy food. And of course I had to make sure my tuition was paid, manage my student loans, pay my taxes, etc. Just because you spent your college years in arrested development doesn’t mean the rest of us did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary. It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts. This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad. Weddings paid for! Down payment assistance! College savings for the grandkids! And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.

What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

Huh? There are tons of consequences these days everyone is watched and video'd etc genz and millennials don't have this opportunity especially with the high cost of everything the old Genx boomers left us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary. It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts. This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad. Weddings paid for! Down payment assistance! College savings for the grandkids! And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.

By extension...there's then nothing wrong with subsidizing every expense of your child for life. Of course that happens quite often with massive Trusts for kids.

I don't care one way or the other, but why stop at the things you list?

You're suggesting privileged kids are lazy layabouts, when they're anything but. They're wealthy Type A overachievers. They're going to selective colleges, getting great grades, and they're mindful about finding a spouse. Who you marry is the most important decision of your life. Not seriously looking for a spouse in your prime, when you're surrounded by 10,000-50,000 ambitious peers, is foolish. These kids have it all and they're quickly checking off status and milestone boxes. BA, check. Fiancé or fiancée, check. Grad school, check. Wedding, check. First house, check. Career in a premier city, check. Baby, check.

[Anonymous]

This goes both ways. Go to happy hour today in DC and ask the 30 and 40 something bachelors sipping beers their biggest regret in life. It'll almost always be not proposing to an ex girlfriend they were dating in their early 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is full of femcel cat ladies and IVF moms old enough to be pensioned grandmothers who seethe when they see happy young love birds. Sorry you were duped into making terrible life choices. Try to be happy for young people making better choices than you made.

This is so weird! Why do you care At ALL about "femcel cat ladies" or people who use IVF? You also have no idea what they think about anything. I'm neither and had kids without any help, and I've been married over 30 years. Live and let live!

This goes both ways. Go to happy hour today in DC and ask the 30 and 40 something bachelors sipping beers their biggest regret in life. It'll almost always be not proposing to an ex girlfriend they were dating in their early 20s.

Why would anyone advise the younger generation to make those same mistakes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary. It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts. This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad. Weddings paid for! Down payment assistance! College savings for the grandkids! And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.

It's an issue paying for most of those things if your kid thinks it should continue after marriage. I think parents should pay for education and even set up something for grandkids, but a marriage shouldn't be financed by your parents. That's failure as a parent. A kid simply getting married and then having their parents pay for everything, is not something to brag about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary. It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts. This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad. Weddings paid for! Down payment assistance! College savings for the grandkids! And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.

By extension...there's then nothing wrong with subsidizing every expense of your child for life. Of course that happens quite often with massive Trusts for kids.

I don't care one way or the other, but why stop at the things you list?

You're suggesting privileged kids are lazy layabouts, when they're anything but. They're wealthy Type A overachievers. They're going to selective colleges, getting great grades, and they're mindful about finding a spouse. Who you marry is the most important decision of your life. Not seriously looking for a spouse in your prime, when you're surrounded by 10,000-50,000 ambitious peers, is foolish. These kids have it all and they're quickly checking off status and milestone boxes. BA, check. Fiancé or fiancée, check. Grad school, check. Wedding, check. First house, check. Career in a premier city, check. Baby, check.

They aren't actually...so not really sure why anyone propagates that myth. You are literally describing the Ivy league and other Northern kids that I guess people claim to despise (Ivy league schools plus Stanford/MIT/Chicago to this day as we speak have by far the highest concentration of top 1% and top 0.1% income students/families).

So, I don't get it. Do these kids to a state flagship that isn't particularly selective for in-state students, or do they attend a selective school? Do their parents pay for everything as PP poster indicated, or they do not?

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Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take.

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary. It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts. This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad. Weddings paid for! Down payment assistance! College savings for the grandkids! And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.

By extension...there's then nothing wrong with subsidizing every expense of your child for life. Of course that happens quite often with massive Trusts for kids.

I don't care one way or the other, but why stop at the things you list?

You're suggesting privileged kids are lazy layabouts, when they're anything but. They're wealthy Type A overachievers. They're going to selective colleges, getting great grades

Stop exaggerating. A lot of wealthy kids who've gotten into prestigious universities or careers have gotten there via connections and you know it. Yes, there are overachievers, but many others never deserved to be in the schools or positions they got into and they're the first ones who scream about "affirmative action" and "DEI." I know enough of these people who've gotten far more opportunities to fail/succeed due to their wealth and connections rather than actually deserving those chances, while others who weren't so lucky, never even got the first opportunity.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:20-yo Millie Bobby Brown and 22-yo husband (Bon Jovi's model son) just revealed their gorgeous wedding photos on social media to her 65 million followers. MBB is a trend setter. This follows influencer Sofia Richie getting married and quickly pregnant last year when she was just 24-yo. Pendulum has swung, gen Z'ers consider it is un-cool and weird to wait until late 20s or 30s to settle down.

LOL! These are kids who never have to worry about careers or money.

So true. And John bonjovi is putting a lot of capital in pushing his nepo baby out there to be noticed. The pair are everywhere these days. I just tossed a local magazine because their faces were plastered all over it. Just sick of Hollywood whoring out their kids.