Is a first grader too young for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats great OP. Maybe you should start sending her into 7-11 for chips too. Take it on a store by store basis.

I'm not the OP, but I am going to start sending mjy child more often into stores on his own, for just one item. He's 8 and I think it is a great idea to give him more responsibility and practice at being independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More power to you OP. Kids these days need all the opportunities they can get to be independent.

Being driven to the store and then handed the cash to buy a hot chocolate that someone other adult makes for you isn't independence!

[Anonymous]

Sheesh! OP is not a horrible person and this doesn't indicate she needs therapy! There isn't anything wrong with sending a mature first grader up to the counter to ask the employee for something. I probably wouldn't do something like this from outside, but I will try to get my 1st grader to go up to the counter to ask for a napkin, a spoon, etc., or to buy a treat if I am sitting in a cafe. I do think that encourages confidence on their part.

If your first grader is responsible enough to watch for hot drinks and not run in or out while you watch her from the outside, she should be fine. Just send cash and help her come up with a response if the counter person questions her.

That being said, it's probably also a good idea for you to provide more opportunities for her to play outside with her peer group and develop those skills as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being driven to the store and then handed the cash to buy a hot chocolate that someone other adult makes for you isn't independence!

This is a gem! Thanks for the chuckle. Do you know any children?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Mine had the same reaction I did. Biking to Starbucks, even with a parent, would be a step on the road to independence. Learning to make hot chocolate would be a step on the road to independence. Taking on a small job at home that earns pocket money and then treating your mom to hot chocolate would be a step on the road to independence.

[Anonymous]

Buying something in a store, on your own, is also a step towards independence.

[Anonymous]

And walking into a store on your own is also a step toward independence. As you can see by the number of posters here who seem to think that a 6 year old child on her own in a store is somehow in need of employee/adult supervision.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of those annoying miniature carts at the Giant -- "Consumer in Training!" Honestly, walking through doors and asking adults to give you things are skills that most 6 year olds have already mastered. No real value added here.

[Anonymous]

I have a son who will also be 7 in June, and has been described in similar ways to your DD. But I would NEVER allow my son to go in by himself and place an order and pay. That is just not how I would encourage him to "spread him wings" and develop responsibility and independence.

[Anonymous]

OP: Maybe you should just send your 6 year old grocery shopping and she can run all of your errands for you while you sit in the car with the Starbucks she brought out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of those annoying miniature carts at the Giant -- "Consumer in Training!" Honestly, walking through doors and asking adults to give you things are skills that most 6 year olds have already mastered. No real value added here.

Apparently, not, by the reaction of some posters here, incluing the one who posted just after you, who would NEVER allow her son to go into a store and pay for something, ALONE.

[Anonymous]

I brought my son to Office Depot today to get him something he needed for a project for school. I suggested that he go up to the clerk and ask where the item was. He was too nervous/shy to do it on his own. He's 8. So I think a little more independence opportunities would be a good thing fo rhim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of those annoying miniature carts at the Giant -- "Consumer in Training!" Honestly, walking through doors and asking adults to give you things are skills that most 6 year olds have already mastered. No real value added here.

Apparently, not, by the reaction of some posters here, incluing the one who posted just after you, who would NEVER allow her son to go into a store and pay for something, ALONE.

That's no indication as to whether new skills are involved. It's an assessment about comfort level with particular environments and about when/whether there's any benefit to letting a child of a particular age negotiate them alone. E.g. a parent may let their 6 year old child walk into, say, a Sunday school class alone (so separation, way-finding, staying on task type skills all get practice) but not send them into Starbucks while parked outside. And, in fact, OP seems to be complaining not that other kids are all too sheltered, but that their parents let them do riskier things than she lets hers do. My take is that what's at stake here is not just differing assumptions about levels of risk but also about risks vs. rewards. If the "reward" here is that the kid learns how to approach a counter, ask for a drink, and hand the person behind the counter a credit card, that's certainly a reward that doesn't require the parent's absence. And, frankly, it's not much of a skill or one you have to worry that your kid will never acquire without prior practice.

PS For the mom of the 8 year old -- truth is, the same kid can love asking the clerk for help at 5 and hate it at 8. Some kinds of social anxiety increase (temporarily!) with age and greater awareness of the social situation/ability to anticipate problems -- e.g. like "there may be a follow-up question I can't answer," and "clerks often ignore kids and I hate that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of those annoying miniature carts at the Giant -- "Consumer in Training!" Honestly, walking through doors and asking adults to give you things are skills that most 6 year olds have already mastered. No real value added here.

Apparently, not, by the reaction of some posters here, incluing the one who posted just after you, who would NEVER allow her son to go into a store and pay for something, ALONE.

That's no indication as to whether new skills are involved. It's an assessment about comfort level with particular environments and about when/whether there's any benefit to letting a child of a particular age negotiate them alone. E.g. a parent may let their 6 year old child walk into, say, a Sunday school class alone (so separation, way-finding, staying on task type skills all get practice) but not send them into Starbucks while parked outside. And, in fact, OP seems to be complaining not that other kids are all too sheltered, but that their parents let them do riskier things than she lets hers do. My take is that what's at stake here is not just differing assumptions about levels of risk but also about risks vs. rewards. If the "reward" here is that the kid learns how to approach a counter, ask for a drink, and hand the person behind the counter a credit card, that's certainly a reward that doesn't require the parent's absence. And, frankly, it's not much of a skill or one you have to worry that your kid will never acquire without prior practice.

The benefit of letting a child negotiate these tasks alone, to me at least, would just be that he can't look to me for help if he doesn't understand something, or if something doesn't go exactly according to plan. He'd need to exercise a little independent judgement. And that's a big difference between walking into a classroom alone, and negotiation a commercial transaction. I'd let him start with ordering something that's pretty much the same each time, and work up to harder tasks involving more choices and more judgement, payiing with cash, getting different change back. Sure, send him places with mom in the store too. But the psychological benefit of mom being outside the store is pretty big -- no hovering parent to listen in and be aware of everything that is going on. I think kids need a little breathing room, you know?

[Anonymous]

We had our son go into Starbucks to buy a pound of coffee when he was 5 because we were out with the dogs. He confidently demanded one bean. Cracked the whole place up. Since then, he's learned how to deal with money and with vendors and store personnel. As a teen, he would beg me to send him on an errand. Now he does his own errands. You're doing the right thing.