Do elderly women tend to be the pickiest eaters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we get together with extended families, it's always my mother and/or my mother-in-law whose limited tastes in food have to be worked around. There are a lot of things they don't like, and they get grouchy if that's the food being served (whether at home or at a restaurant.) And, they've since passed, but if memory serves, one of my grandmothers was like this as well. The middle aged and young adults (I'm not counting kids for this discussion) of both genders seem to have a broad palate. I'm not sure if the elderly men particularly like a lot of stuff, but they'll cheerfully eat whatever.

I'm obviously working with a limited sample size here, so I'm wondering if my experience is representative of something more generalized or if it's a luck-of-the-draw kind of thing.

Yes. Because your mother and MIL are "picky" eaters it means all elderly women are.

What crawled up your ass? The original post noted that it was a limited sample size and anecdotal, requested the experience of others. Others said, nope - mothers ate well and men were more likely to complain. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait- you will one day find yourself in a similar place. I am in healthcare and remember when all my patients would talk about the digestive issues with me. I would think- how can this be such a big part of your life? Sadly, I am now beginning to understand. Most of you will in a few decades.

I'm not so sure. There is being careful to eat things that work for you, and there is policing the food choices of all in the vicinity. I think it's more the latter that comes off as judgmental, and is likeliest to be judged. Being smug about eating less, talking about what size you wear and for how many years, expressing disapproval of other's choices. Burger King Lady kind of behavior.

That’s not really what OP described.

"Grouchy" is an interesting term. It certainly means more than just selective.

Yeah - there are two elements here. One is just not liking a wide range of foods. But the second part is making their selectiveness other peoples' problem in some fashion.

[Anonymous]

It has been my experience too. MIL can’t stand anything with flavor, her cooking is bland. Everything made by anyone else is “spicy” even when it is not. My mother selectively avoids gluten, typically when it’s an opportunity to get attention. As in she’ll eat pasta when it’s just my mom and dad at home (and not the gluten free kind) but eating out with others, she has to avoid gluten. 🙄

[Anonymous]

65 year old here. Not true for me. But I'm a sample of one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe luck of the draw. My MIL is like this (and it is so annoying) but I know plenty of other older women for whom this is not true.

OP. I definitely didn't mean to imply that all elderly women are like this. But most of the people who are like this - in my family circles - have been the elderly women. (Even so, I see other posters saying it's the men in their families.)

We all infer that you mean to imply this from your thread title. It was kind of a sweeping generalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always reminded that C.S. Lewis identified picky eating (for orthorexic/control reasons) as a form of gluttony, the "Gluttony of Delicacy" instead of excess:

It's typical to associate gluttony with overconsumption, or, an excess of food or drink.

But according to C.S. Lewis, that’s only one form the vice takes. The broader definition of gluttony is any inordinate desire related to food or drink. That includes overconsumption, but it also includes overselectivity regarding the type or quality of food and drink.

From "The Screwtape Letters wrote:
"My dear Wormwood,

The contemptuous way in which you spoke of gluttony as a means of catching souls, in your last letter, only shows your ignorance. One of the great achievements of the last hundred years has been to deaden the human conscience on that subject, so that by now you will hardly find a sermon preached or a conscience troubled by it in the whole length and breadth of Europe. This has largely been effected by concentrating all our efforts on gluttony of Delicacy, not gluttony of Excess. Your patient's mother, as I learn from the dossier and you might have learned from Glubose, is a good example. She would be astonished—one day, I hope, will be—to learn that her whole life is enslaved to this kind of sensuality, which is quite concealed from her by the fact that the quantities involved are small. But what do quantities matter, provided we can use a human belly and palate to produce querulousness, impatience, uncharitableness and self-concern? Glubose has this old woman well in hand. She is a positive terror to hostesses and servants. She is always turning from what has been offered her to say with a demure little sigh and a smile ‘Oh please, please ... all I want is a cup of tea, weak but not too weak, and the teeniest weeniest bit of really crisp toast’. You see? Because what she wants is smaller and less costly than what has been set before her, she never recognises as gluttony her determination to get what she wants, however troublesome it may be to others. At the very moment of indulging her appetite she believes that she is practising temperance. In a crowded restaurant she gives a little scream at the plate which some overworked waitress has set before her and says, ‘Oh, that's far, far too much! Take it away and bring me about a quarter of it’. If challenged, she would say she was doing this to avoid waste; in reality she does it because the particular shade of delicacy to which we have enslaved her is offended by the sight of more food than she happens to want.”

https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog/cs-lewis-deadly-sin-gluttony/

It's impossible not to think of Burger King Lady, but of course this can be true for any age or sex.

Love that quote! Thanks for sharing it.

NP. Another thank you for the quote! It’s hilarious and so true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:65 year old here. Not true for me. But I'm a sample of one.

But I should add: Don't. Serve. Me. Liver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the same way. She would also go into insane detail describing her food. Annoyed the heck out of me. RIP mom...

+1

Obsessed with eating the “smallest” portions and don’t get her started on the multiple ailments and doctor’s visits!

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming that picky people remain picky, even as they get older. As a point of anecdata, my 90+ year old Grandma loooooves to eat out, and trying new foods. My 70 odd year old mom, *much* less so, but she has always been the less adventurous eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was the same way. She would also go into insane detail describing her food. Annoyed the heck out of me. RIP mom...

+1

Obsessed with eating the “smallest” portions and don’t get her started on the multiple ailments and doctor’s visits!

Mine insists on the "smallest" portions in public yet grazes all day in private. She is 60 lbs overweight. If she only ate the food she eats in front of people she would be a size 2.