so explain this kindergarten cutoff to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this forum talk about redshirting as if were very common. I'm curious just how common it is. Is it 1 or 2 kids per class? or is it more? (one PP said 12 out of 18. is that usual?)

Is there any way to find out from the school system how many kids are starting K a year late?

it would certainly influence my decision to accelaerate/hold back.

I am interested in this information, too. (Though I highly doubt the findings would change our plan to send DS to kindergarten "on time.") I searched FCPS website and couldn't find such an enrollment stat, so I just emailed them and inquired directly. I'll report back what I learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why do you care if someone holds their child back or not? Their decision should have no impact on your life, so I'd keep your trap shut.

But it does, when "my" kids are at school at the normal/prescriptive time and "your" kids are held back pushing social, emotional and physical issues onto "my" kid.

I will agree with the previous poster who said that it is one thing if there are physical/social issues which proscribe starting school late, but another when a parent simply doesn't want their kid to "be the youngest in the class".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read "Outliers" and you'll understand the rationale to hold your child back.

Really? You've got to be kidding me. Well, at least people will have an explanation when their sons wonder why their parents though they weren't able to handle starting school on time.

[Anonymous]

"it will affect my kids" line of thinking

The concern isn't crystal meth in K. The concern is that if the average age of a K kid is 6 rather than 5, that changes the classroom dynamic and expectations. K teachers and schools come to expect K kids to act like 6 year olds and not 5 year olds, and at that age the one year does make a difference. So it gets frustrating for those of us with 5 year olds close to the cut off who are academically very ready for K, but don't have the fine motor control of a kid more than a full year older. There is a wide spread of abilities in the classroom anyway and redshirting just makes that spread worse. And for those who cannot necessarily afford another year of preschool or preK or JK or whatever, it is a real concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read "Outliers" and you'll understand the rationale to hold your child back.

Really? You've got to be kidding me. Well, at least people will have an explanation when their sons wonder why their parents though they weren't able to handle starting school on time.

?

[Anonymous]

This is completely anecdotal, but my nephew has an early January birthday, so I would've expected him to be one of the older ones in his class. Turns out that most of his classmates are older than him! He goes to a public school in Arlington.

[Anonymous]

My question to FCPS, as well as their response, is below. In a nut shell, they don't track the information we're wondering about for this discussion.

Question:
I am wondering if an enrollment statistic is available for FCPS that measures the number of children who are eligible to start kindergarten in a given school year but who are "opted out" by their parents until the following year. For example, what portion of children who reached their fifth birthday on or before 9/30/09 did not attend kindergarten for the 2009-2010 school year?

Answer:
We don’t maintain that information, and the age/grade table uses January 1 as a calculation date which masks the students who are 6 for Kindergarten as of 9/30 because that is 6 as of 1/1 which would include students who turned 6 in October through December.

http://www.doe.virginia.gov/statistics_reports/supts_annual_report/2008_09/table07.pdf

Look over this VDOE chart for all of Virginia.

[Anonymous]

"(one PP said 12 out of 18. is that usual?)"

Elementary children here. No, it is absolutely not usual. It is probably a flat out lie from someone trying to sway their spouse to hold their perfectly ready child "back".

"Read "Outliers" and you'll understand the rationale to hold your child back."

Please never admit to your child that you based your decision on this. Remember, they choose your nursing home.

"In a nut shell, they don't track the information we're wondering about for this discussion."

Not everything has to be "tracked" or "listed". A better help would be to look at the parents. Let's face it, some might hold the kid back for years and it would not make a shred of difference (for better or worse).

This is not to be facetious, rather, to consider what you are working with. The parents that "hold back" are likely not very realistic to begin with; but rather good at making lists! In other words, they lack the proper focus, so that trying to change their mind (about much of anything) would be useless. I don't see successful people acting this way - just the ones trying to overcompensate. They end up drowning themselves every time. Don't be them.

[Anonymous]

AdequateParent wrote:Look around you, at all of the people you know. Look at their parents. Look at their neuroses. Parents are going to screw up our kids one way or another, and it will most likely be with the well-intentioned or reflexive actions that we'd least suspect of being damaging. I find it liberating to embrace that dark and dirty secret, feed my kid a Snicker's bar, and get on with my day.

That's why every time I have a therapy jar instead of a swear jar. It's never too early to start saving.

So true. I recognize my decisions to hold back, push ahead etc. are directly related to my experience growing up. So yes, my neuroses drives my decisions. I tell myself I went thru all that so I could learn these lessons to pass on to my children. I hate to admit it but I was a goody two-shoes, teacher's pet that wasn't challenged in school, and had frequent enough moves and a parent's divorce/separation in the mix. As a summer birthday in state with a December cutoff, I was smack dab in the middle so I wasn't the youngest or the oldest and yet I had teenage angst, wasn't athletically inclined, didn't have a family car I could drive plus moved to a state where kids learned to drive younger (and I missed the gym class/driver ed combo most kids took as a sophomore), so I actually didn't get my license until I was ready to go to college.

So what do I want for my daughter that has a personality that reminds me a lot of me - for her not to have everything come easy - to know how to work hard to succeed in school and be able to listen and give other people the chance to shine as well. I want my kids to have the security of growing up in the same house their whole lives and having kids/family friends they have known since they were in diapers but not use that a crutch and still be able to make new friends. I don't think being the oldest or being the youngest in K guarantees happiness or heartbreak in life and if my decisions on pushing her ahead causes her to think it would have been better being older, she will make the different decision with her kids.

I've added my 25 cents to the therapy jar.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if anyone has already mentioned this, I didn't read the whole thread but there are several good books on the development of boys that indicate why many parents should be starting their summer boys at the age of 6 rather than 5, and none of those reasons have to do with athletics, they have to do with language acquisition and early reading skills along with social skills. My two favorite books on the subject are "It's a boy: understanding your sons development from birth to 18" by Michael Thompson and "The Way of Boys" by Michelle Seaton.

[Anonymous]

We will be starting our August born son at the age of 6 because his father (born Sept. 24) started K. the year he turned 5 and it affected his entire academic career, he was constantly struggling with being far behind in reading but way far ahead in Math. He constantly struggled in Elementary with being bored in his other classes because the group he was in was based off of his reading ability (I think that they still do that here). Even though he caught up on the reading front he was still not aloud to take the high level English classes in Highschool because "that wasn't the track he was on". This caused all kinds of issues when it came to going to college because he had Calc 3 on his transcript but only the mid-level English courses and had been shutout of AP English. He also really hated being the youngest kid in the class, he was constantly picked on for it. Needless to say he is a bit opinionated on when our son will start school. All of this and he was incredably sucessful, he graduated 8th in his highschool class!

[Anonymous]

My brother was one of the youngest in his class - last to get his permit, last to drive, last to do whatever you can do at whatever age you can do it. He was popular, a football star, and did well academically in high school. Gave up football in college but continued to do well and went to a very good school. He is now one of the youngest people in his company to hold the management position he's in - think 10-15 years younger than anyone else - and is on the fast track to being super successful. Would holding him back a year have made him president of this huge public company by now? He's 31 - maybe that extra year would have made all the difference and he'd now rule the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a September boy who started on time and is doing fine, no issues. I also have an October boy that I wish I could move ahead, I'm actually sorry he's going to be the oldest. Being younger bro, he loves big bro and friends, and doesn't like to socialize with his peers (and certainly doesn't relate to those 12-16 months younger). 25 months apart and 3 years apart in school...ugh...

This is my situation too. DS is an Oct baby and has lots of friends at church and daycare with June/July/Aug/Sept birthdays. I think it is going to be hard on him when they all start kindergarten and he's left behind to do another year of pre-school.