Mixed feelings about legacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surprised that anyone is buying this. This seems like C- concern trolling by one of the anti-legacy posters.

I read it as beginning the process of eventually rationalizing and explaining why legacy child (LC) didn't get in. "From the beginning we were uncomfortable with the process, so really ...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem I have with OP's post is that she's all "aw shucks" about legacy when she's the first to say that the Ivies in question might not even be a good fit for her kid. And that means that she's willing to send her kid to a school that isn't even a fit only because of the name and because she thinks legacy status will get the kid in. And, to me at least, that's pathetic.

If, as she claims, he's qualified for a top school anyway, why not look for the right fit?

I am sorry I gave you this negative impression. To be clear, I do believe DC would be a good fit at either spouse’s or my alma maters. My concern is that somewhere else may be a *better* fit, yet ironically might be more difficult for DC to gain admittance there.

Then what the heck is your point or question, OP? Whether it's ok for your kid to apply to a college and click the legacy box? Just click the damn box on the Ivy application and also apply to the potentially better fit, and the kid can decide where to go once the acceptances/rejections come in. It's not an either/or proposition. Your kid is allowed to apply to more than one school you know.

By applying to one of our alma maters SCEA, DC would *not* be able to apply early to another school that may be a better fit. DC’s chances of being admitted to that other school would be lower without the early round advantage. On the other hand, if DC applies early to that other school, the chances of being admitted to one of our alma maters would be lowered significantly since the legacy bump counts most in the early round. The dilemma is whether DC should be more practical or less. Either way, all of us recognize how extremely difficult it is to get into any very selective university in this day and age.

BUT. REA and SCEA allow your DC to still apply to public institutions. My DC got deferred from all the Ivies even while being a legacy at Yale and Harvard but got into Purdue, Ga Tech and UVA. DC picked the latter and never looked back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised that anyone is buying this. This seems like C- concern trolling by one of the anti-legacy posters.

I read it as beginning the process of eventually rationalizing and explaining why legacy child (LC) didn't get in. "From the beginning we were uncomfortable with the process, so really ...."

The excuse-making usually comes in the form of 'I didn't donate 7 figures so that's why my legacy kid wasn't admitted."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid applied early to our alma mater. I didn’t realize we were supposed to feel conflicted about this. It seemed like the sensible thing to do since the school was one of their top choices.

Apologies, my post was not meant to suggest you *should* feel conflicted. I am not judging anyone, simply sharing my thoughts and asking for others.

No need to apologize. I think it depends on your kid. If your school isn’t one of their top choices then it doesn’t make sense to apply there just because you have a legacy connection. Our second kid didn’t apply early to our alma mater because they really wanted to go somewhere else so that’s where they applied. It’s probably more helpful for your kid to decide what they want and then you figure it out from there.

My daughter had a similar feeling, not guilt so much as she and everyone else would think she got in because of the hook and for no other reason. She just didn’t feel like dealing with that.

Thank you for sharing this!

[Anonymous]

You need to be in the pool of possible admits for legacy to help. At my school the benefit you get is that the admissions director him or herself reviews all legacy applications at least two times (and likely spends more time each review than normal). So instead of the quick look to the admissions team you get a long look(s) by the admissions director.

If you are in a range and you have something that can be pointed to, you are likely in. The range changes every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem I have with OP's post is that she's all "aw shucks" about legacy when she's the first to say that the Ivies in question might not even be a good fit for her kid. And that means that she's willing to send her kid to a school that isn't even a fit only because of the name and because she thinks legacy status will get the kid in. And, to me at least, that's pathetic.

If, as she claims, he's qualified for a top school anyway, why not look for the right fit?

I am sorry I gave you this negative impression. To be clear, I do believe DC would be a good fit at either spouse’s or my alma maters. My concern is that somewhere else may be a *better* fit, yet ironically might be more difficult for DC to gain admittance there.

Then what the heck is your point or question, OP? Whether it's ok for your kid to apply to a college and click the legacy box? Just click the damn box on the Ivy application and also apply to the potentially better fit, and the kid can decide where to go once the acceptances/rejections come in. It's not an either/or proposition. Your kid is allowed to apply to more than one school you know.

By applying to one of our alma maters SCEA, DC would *not* be able to apply early to another school that may be a better fit. DC’s chances of being admitted to that other school would be lower without the early round advantage. On the other hand, if DC applies early to that other school, the chances of being admitted to one of our alma maters would be lowered significantly since the legacy bump counts most in the early round. The dilemma is whether DC should be more practical or less. Either way, all of us recognize how extremely difficult it is to get into any very selective university in this day and age.

BUT. REA and SCEA allow your DC to still apply to public institutions. My DC got deferred from all the Ivies even while being a legacy at Yale and Harvard but got into Purdue, Ga Tech and UVA. DC picked the latter and never looked back.

Good point, thank you!

[Anonymous]

I guess if I were you, I would let your child make her own list, realizing that the legacy school might be a little easier admission for her than someone off the street.

That is the objective reality, so I am not really sure what decision you have to make here.

She will either be attracted to that school or not. It should be her decision where to apply, just like any other child (given your family's constraints, of course).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess if I were you, I would let your child make her own list, realizing that the legacy school might be a little easier admission for her than someone off the street.

That is the objective reality, so I am not really sure what decision you have to make here.

She will either be attracted to that school or not. It should be her decision where to apply, just like any other child (given your family's constraints, of course).

Yes, DC is still early in the process, but will be the decision-maker. Spouse and I will explain the objective reality of hooks like legacy, and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

This is trolling

[Anonymous]

This is so ridiculous. Feeling guilty about getting into HYPS?

[Anonymous]

I do not understand the negative responses. I think if you post that way it says way more about you than OP.

Let's say you went to Penn (totally random example) and your kid would be a very solid candidate. Very good chance of getting in. But the kid likes Dartmouth (also random example) a bit better. Kid has worked hard and would love to attend an Ivy.

Do you encourage them to apply early to Dartmouth? Probably not. They don't dislike Penn, and that's their best chance to go to an elite university. If they apply to Dartmouth without the legacy bump, they may get rejected from there and Penn. I went to a similar college and they really encourage legacy kids to apply in the early round.

This is a reasonable question. If you feel the need to criticize and attack OP, please take stock and examine your own life. If this doesn't apply to you, you should not feel the need to respond.

I am confident OP is not a troll not only because I could have written her post, but the way she calmly DGAF about the nasty responses seems like a HYPS grad.

[Anonymous]

I guess I take issue with the notion of wanting to attend "any Ivy." Penn and Dartmouth are TOTALLY different schools. If she likes one, she probably won't be happy at the other.

This approach to choosing is foreign to me, though I am sure there are others on DCUM who salivate over "ivy or bust. " "Give me any Ivy, I just want to slap that thing on my bumper."

I just cannot relate to being so status-conscious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I take issue with the notion of wanting to attend "any Ivy." Penn and Dartmouth are TOTALLY different schools. If she likes one, she probably won't be happy at the other.

This approach to choosing is foreign to me, though I am sure there are others on DCUM who salivate over "ivy or bust. " "Give me any Ivy, I just want to slap that thing on my bumper."

I just cannot relate to being so status-conscious.

OK cool so you're better. I also don't believe in Ivy or bust, but if a student has a goal of attending a top 10, an Ivy league school, a very selective school, whatever... that's their choice. Give advice based on what they're looking for. Or don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I take issue with the notion of wanting to attend "any Ivy." Penn and Dartmouth are TOTALLY different schools. If she likes one, she probably won't be happy at the other.

This approach to choosing is foreign to me, though I am sure there are others on DCUM who salivate over "ivy or bust. " "Give me any Ivy, I just want to slap that thing on my bumper."

I just cannot relate to being so status-conscious.

OP here. I do not believe in Ivy or bust, and apologize if anything I wrote led you to believe such. It is true DC is interested in schools known for academic rigor, but that includes several non-Ivies and does not include all the Ivies. My original post was meant only to highlight the irony that DC actually has a better chance of being admitted to HYPS than a similarly selective or even less selective school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so ridiculous. Feeling guilty about getting into HYPS?

Yes, if you conceptualize getting in as a legacy as taking a spot from someone who deserved it more and/or for whom the opportunity would have been life-changing. My kid did.