If your kid is thriving with DL....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't trust many parents' assessments of how their children are "thriving" in DL.

Why not? Doe the first time have a front row seat and can see everything they are doing and how they’re reacting to it.

Because I don't think a lot of parents are very good at impartially assessing the academic progress of their kids, and we already know a lot of parents don't assess the emotional and mental health of their children well.

But then they aren’t really doing any worse now than they would be doing in general right?

No, it's very different. In non-DL, there are many more external and more impartial measurements going on, both formal and informal. There is a wider community that provides essentially continuous feedback, and that's largely not happening now. If you talk with teachers honestly (without flaming them or calling them lazy or other stupid insults), they'll often open up about how they don't have a lot of faith in formal assessments going on, and informal non-parental assessment has largely disappeared. The fact is, in DL the wide variety of inputs a thoughtful parent might get about their children is severely diminished.

Have you ever read any homeschool survivor forums? I have, and the "my kid is thriving!" posters sound remarkably like the parents of those kids. The kids themselves, particularly as adults, often have wildly different and typically more accurate assessments of their own educational progress, because they have to live with the results as adults.

I am sure there are some kids who are actually thriving, but I don't trust the assessment of most parents as to that point.

I agree with this. I am suspicious of anyone who says that their kids is "thriving." They might be doing well in school or enjoying aspects of DL like the ability to sleep in, but to me, the word "thrive" involves a comprehensive wellness that DL cannot provided. This is not to say that the need for the relationships, personal connections that come with in person learning require immediate return to school buildings. But part of education is building and even more navigating relationships, and that is missing with DL. I think this layoff will come at great cost, but hopefully we can get kids back to where they need to be.

My oldest child took largely duel enrollment classes, got all As, and learned a great deal about managing him time. However, he lacked in person connection with classmates and even with teachers and therefore, despite his good grades and general good humor, I won't say he is thriving. To the contrary, his development has been hampered by this period where he is completely out of touch with his peers, making it impossible to "thrive."

I honestly think that people who rave about DL are control freaks who want their children to be separated from the world. While my son socializes through video games, I don't consider that the type of socialization that a teenage boy needs to learn how to navigate the world. Life is about being around all types of people, those you like and those you don't. While they might be learning, they might be content or adopting, kids aren't connecting and therefore, are not thriving.

You can disagree but its not the point of the post and some of our kids are enjoying it and understand what is going on in the country/world with COVID. You are making it about you, your thoughts and your needs and that's fine but don't project that onto our children who are doing well. Mine are thriving and happy. Yes, I wanted my child separated from selfish people like you who have no issues spreading covid and teaching their kids poor values that their needs come before the community good.

PP here. I don't think you understand the point of my post, which is filled with typos for which I apologize. I wrote it quickly. It doesn't matter if DL works for your child or mine or whether it is the right thing to do in light of COVID. It is what it is. Nothing I said was about my needs or interests. From your writing, it appears that English might not be your first language. My post is based on the conventional understanding of the definition of "thrive" which means growing, prospering, and developing. Thriving is not just being happy under the circumstances and not just learning well enough. It is about development, and unquestionable, aspects of children's development are being hindered under these circumstances. Again, this is the reality, and says nothing about my feelings about schools being open. In fact, this goes beyond school issues, because any responsible adult in this country, and I am one, is not allowing their children to have normal and active in-person learning and socializing because it is not safe and such behavior increases community spread. It is fine that kids are happy and doing fine in school under these less than ideal circumstances. My teenaged son is fine and doing well. Still, I understand that not all children are and have great empathy for those who are struggling.

I'm not sure where you get the impression that we are behaving selfishly, given that my son does not engage in normal interaction in person with his friends, who he misses greatly. He also doesn't have a job, which he should at this age, due to concerns about COVID risk for our household. Even for kids who interact with their friends outdoors or masked or whatever, they aren't engaging in social interaction that is necessary for their development. That is a fact. We should make do in order to get through the pandemic. However, if you cannot understand that no child is thriving, which means developing in all aspects his or her being, consider that you might be embracing isolation and detachment from the world in an unhealthy way.

Under your definition mine are doing very well as are many others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't trust many parents' assessments of how their children are "thriving" in DL.

Why not? Doe the first time have a front row seat and can see everything they are doing and how they’re reacting to it.

Because I don't think a lot of parents are very good at impartially assessing the academic progress of their kids, and we already know a lot of parents don't assess the emotional and mental health of their children well.

But then they aren’t really doing any worse now than they would be doing in general right?

No, it's very different. In non-DL, there are many more external and more impartial measurements going on, both formal and informal. There is a wider community that provides essentially continuous feedback, and that's largely not happening now. If you talk with teachers honestly (without flaming them or calling them lazy or other stupid insults), they'll often open up about how they don't have a lot of faith in formal assessments going on, and informal non-parental assessment has largely disappeared. The fact is, in DL the wide variety of inputs a thoughtful parent might get about their children is severely diminished.

Have you ever read any homeschool survivor forums? I have, and the "my kid is thriving!" posters sound remarkably like the parents of those kids. The kids themselves, particularly as adults, often have wildly different and typically more accurate assessments of their own educational progress, because they have to live with the results as adults.

I am sure there are some kids who are actually thriving, but I don't trust the assessment of most parents as to that point.

I agree with this. I am suspicious of anyone who says that their kids is "thriving." They might be doing well in school or enjoying aspects of DL like the ability to sleep in, but to me, the word "thrive" involves a comprehensive wellness that DL cannot provided. This is not to say that the need for the relationships, personal connections that come with in person learning require immediate return to school buildings. But part of education is building and even more navigating relationships, and that is missing with DL. I think this layoff will come at great cost, but hopefully we can get kids back to where they need to be.

My oldest child took largely duel enrollment classes, got all As, and learned a great deal about managing him time. However, he lacked in person connection with classmates and even with teachers and therefore, despite his good grades and general good humor, I won't say he is thriving. To the contrary, his development has been hampered by this period where he is completely out of touch with his peers, making it impossible to "thrive."

I honestly think that people who rave about DL are control freaks who want their children to be separated from the world. While my son socializes through video games, I don't consider that the type of socialization that a teenage boy needs to learn how to navigate the world. Life is about being around all types of people, those you like and those you don't. While they might be learning, they might be content or adopting, kids aren't connecting and therefore, are not thriving.

You can disagree but its not the point of the post and some of our kids are enjoying it and understand what is going on in the country/world with COVID. You are making it about you, your thoughts and your needs and that's fine but don't project that onto our children who are doing well. Mine are thriving and happy. Yes, I wanted my child separated from selfish people like you who have no issues spreading covid and teaching their kids poor values that their needs come before the community good.

DP. The point is that we don't believe you when you claim your child is thriving, which makes any answer you give OP suspect.

Why would you believe a child is thriving with DL. You want DL to be bad so you will spin it to meet your beliefs. I don’t care if you or others are suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm. Maybe we should sell all the school buildings, fire 2/3 of the specials teachers (specials could be pre-recorded) and give every resident a tax break? Not entirely kidding. If it’s awesome let’s stop the charade that it will go back to anything like normal. People who want old fashioned school can pay for private using (partially) the rebate. Oh and why do we need principals if there are no buildings?

Why? Because people don't really like their kids enough to spend that much time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

You did not give dL a chance so how can you say it’s not working when you child is not doing it. My middle schooler is happy with it and does not want to go back until Covid is under control as they understand the spread. You are raising a selfish inflexible child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't trust many parents' assessments of how their children are "thriving" in DL.

Why not? Doe the first time have a front row seat and can see everything they are doing and how they’re reacting to it.

Because I don't think a lot of parents are very good at impartially assessing the academic progress of their kids, and we already know a lot of parents don't assess the emotional and mental health of their children well.

But then they aren’t really doing any worse now than they would be doing in general right?

No, it's very different. In non-DL, there are many more external and more impartial measurements going on, both formal and informal. There is a wider community that provides essentially continuous feedback, and that's largely not happening now. If you talk with teachers honestly (without flaming them or calling them lazy or other stupid insults), they'll often open up about how they don't have a lot of faith in formal assessments going on, and informal non-parental assessment has largely disappeared. The fact is, in DL the wide variety of inputs a thoughtful parent might get about their children is severely diminished.

Have you ever read any homeschool survivor forums? I have, and the "my kid is thriving!" posters sound remarkably like the parents of those kids. The kids themselves, particularly as adults, often have wildly different and typically more accurate assessments of their own educational progress, because they have to live with the results as adults.

I am sure there are some kids who are actually thriving, but I don't trust the assessment of most parents as to that point.

I agree with this. I am suspicious of anyone who says that their kids is "thriving." They might be doing well in school or enjoying aspects of DL like the ability to sleep in, but to me, the word "thrive" involves a comprehensive wellness that DL cannot provided. This is not to say that the need for the relationships, personal connections that come with in person learning require immediate return to school buildings. But part of education is building and even more navigating relationships, and that is missing with DL. I think this layoff will come at great cost, but hopefully we can get kids back to where they need to be.

My oldest child took largely duel enrollment classes, got all As, and learned a great deal about managing him time. However, he lacked in person connection with classmates and even with teachers and therefore, despite his good grades and general good humor, I won't say he is thriving. To the contrary, his development has been hampered by this period where he is completely out of touch with his peers, making it impossible to "thrive."

I honestly think that people who rave about DL are control freaks who want their children to be separated from the world. While my son socializes through video games, I don't consider that the type of socialization that a teenage boy needs to learn how to navigate the world. Life is about being around all types of people, those you like and those you don't. While they might be learning, they might be content or adopting, kids aren't connecting and therefore, are not thriving.

Well said.

I am not raving about DL but my kids are doing well. Their teachers have done a really good job. DC came from a highly stressful school environment and DL has been a much needed pause. DC’s are teens who have learned to cook, be more organized, independent and self monitor, plan for assignments, and have found time to tutor others. I get this is not for everyone but for some kids DL has been a break from the pressure of school and social life. As parents, we are getting to spend more time with our kids and I recognize not all families can do this. Have we done anything differently? Perhaps. We set parameters about keeping balance bt online and chores and we stressed the need to give to others. DL is not ideal and we do wish for our kids to go back to school and for social life to resume but in our experience, it has not been as bad as it has been for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

You did not give dL a chance so how can you say it’s not working when you child is not doing it. My middle schooler is happy with it and does not want to go back until Covid is under control as they understand the spread. You are raising a selfish inflexible child.

I'm pretty sure this same troll, who posts over and over, cannot read, or at least cannot read English.

PP, I was thinking about your reasons why your DS likes DL. Obviously, you've covered the social needs through sports. As a parent with three kids in school, it is easy for the sporty kid than it is for the less sporty one. One of my kids goes to a private school. He has executive function issues and we had to move him because he just couldn't succeed in in public school. We found it too difficult to monitor and supervise his work and to hold him accountable for a number of reasons, including the facts that many teachers did not post assignments online, offer any course outlines, and grade in a timely manner (and the school refused to give him a 504). The consistent routine of his small private school along with an academic support teacher transformed him into a completely different student. I was thinking that if this DL arrangement would have come about after that miserable last year in public school when he was failing at everything and we were constantly yelling at him and punishing him, I would have absolutely loved DL for the reasons you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

This thread is BS and should be deleted for being misleading and stupid. Let me here about how well your kids are " thriving" under DL.
Deranged poster: no. You don't know your kids. Have humility. They aren't " thriving" , it's a facade. They are really suffering.
Parents: my child gets all As and plays sports
DP: well, my son does not play sports and misses the social aspect of school, so yours is too, so they are not "thriving"


We know our kids, and if we say they're well, they are fine. Go take care of your sad son Debbie downer and leave us alone. Kill this thread please.

[Anonymous]

There is one poster in this thread who doesn't seem to understand or communicate written words well at all, yet insists her kids are thriving, which is interesting to observe because some PPs are making the point that parents often aren't well-suited to assess their children's educational and other progress. That poster feels like an example of the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

You did not give dL a chance so how can you say it’s not working when you child is not doing it. My middle schooler is happy with it and does not want to go back until Covid is under control as they understand the spread. You are raising a selfish inflexible child.

I'm pretty sure this same troll, who posts over and over, cannot read, or at least cannot read English.

PP, I was thinking about your reasons why your DS likes DL. Obviously, you've covered the social needs through sports. As a parent with three kids in school, it is easy for the sporty kid than it is for the less sporty one. One of my kids goes to a private school. He has executive function issues and we had to move him because he just couldn't succeed in in public school. We found it too difficult to monitor and supervise his work and to hold him accountable for a number of reasons, including the facts that many teachers did not post assignments online, offer any course outlines, and grade in a timely manner (and the school refused to give him a 504). The consistent routine of his small private school along with an academic support teacher transformed him into a completely different student. I was thinking that if this DL arrangement would have come about after that miserable last year in public school when he was failing at everything and we were constantly yelling at him and punishing him, I would have absolutely loved DL for the reasons you mentioned.

PP, you nailed it. Mine has ADD and DL is so successful for us because now everything and everyone is organized and we know well in advance when things are due.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

You did not give dL a chance so how can you say it’s not working when you child is not doing it. My middle schooler is happy with it and does not want to go back until Covid is under control as they understand the spread. You are raising a selfish inflexible child.

I'm pretty sure this same troll, who posts over and over, cannot read, or at least cannot read English.

PP, I was thinking about your reasons why your DS likes DL. Obviously, you've covered the social needs through sports. As a parent with three kids in school, it is easy for the sporty kid than it is for the less sporty one. One of my kids goes to a private school. He has executive function issues and we had to move him because he just couldn't succeed in in public school. We found it too difficult to monitor and supervise his work and to hold him accountable for a number of reasons, including the facts that many teachers did not post assignments online, offer any course outlines, and grade in a timely manner (and the school refused to give him a 504). The consistent routine of his small private school along with an academic support teacher transformed him into a completely different student. I was thinking that if this DL arrangement would have come about after that miserable last year in public school when he was failing at everything and we were constantly yelling at him and punishing him, I would have absolutely loved DL for the reasons you mentioned.

PP, you nailed it. Mine has ADD and DL is so successful for us because now everything and everyone is organized and we know well in advance when things are due.

When I was in school, our teachers taught us how to use planners to keep track of assignments. My child's school also did this. But if yours does not, teach your child to write down assignments and check the planner. If they can't handle this now, when adults around them want them to succeed, how are they going to manage college and/or holding down a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More sleep for DC. Our public school is also super organized, with a good virtual board that shows what's due every day for the next 2 weeks. All the teachers make summary notes with what they thought in the class that day, so it's easy to review with the child. Every teacher stays online from 2:30 to 3:30 after school for questions, extra help, tutoring etc. My child struggles with organization IRL so he loves this setup. He wants to stay virtual.

What grade is this?

7th.

I'm also adding that he's doing sports outdoors year around and we let him play outdoors with other kids. My other one is in elementary school and he's doing private, in person; virtual would not work for him at his age. It's very much dependent on age.

You did not give dL a chance so how can you say it’s not working when you child is not doing it. My middle schooler is happy with it and does not want to go back until Covid is under control as they understand the spread. You are raising a selfish inflexible child.

I'm pretty sure this same troll, who posts over and over, cannot read, or at least cannot read English.

PP, I was thinking about your reasons why your DS likes DL. Obviously, you've covered the social needs through sports. As a parent with three kids in school, it is easy for the sporty kid than it is for the less sporty one. One of my kids goes to a private school. He has executive function issues and we had to move him because he just couldn't succeed in in public school. We found it too difficult to monitor and supervise his work and to hold him accountable for a number of reasons, including the facts that many teachers did not post assignments online, offer any course outlines, and grade in a timely manner (and the school refused to give him a 504). The consistent routine of his small private school along with an academic support teacher transformed him into a completely different student. I was thinking that if this DL arrangement would have come about after that miserable last year in public school when he was failing at everything and we were constantly yelling at him and punishing him, I would have absolutely loved DL for the reasons you mentioned.

PP, you nailed it. Mine has ADD and DL is so successful for us because now everything and everyone is organized and we know well in advance when things are due.

When I was in school, our teachers taught us how to use planners to keep track of assignments. My child's school also did this. But if yours does not, teach your child to write down assignments and check the planner. If they can't handle this now, when adults around them want them to succeed, how are they going to manage college and/or holding down a job?

You are so right. Because 6th graders and exactly the same as adults. Trust me, you would think that would be the case but until you've experienced a kid like some of us have, you would never understand. And I say this as the parent of two kids who teachers consider to be perfect students and one who is most decidedly not in that category. Not every kid is the same, and part of the process is not pounding a square peg into a round hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't trust many parents' assessments of how their children are "thriving" in DL.

Why not? Doe the first time have a front row seat and can see everything they are doing and how they’re reacting to it.

Because I don't think a lot of parents are very good at impartially assessing the academic progress of their kids, and we already know a lot of parents don't assess the emotional and mental health of their children well.

Maybe you are right. No one ever knows what is going on inside another’s head. Or even our own heads, come to think of it. We should stop trying to communicate, it is a futile endeavor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't trust many parents' assessments of how their children are "thriving" in DL.

Why not? Doe the first time have a front row seat and can see everything they are doing and how they’re reacting to it.

Because I don't think a lot of parents are very good at impartially assessing the academic progress of their kids, and we already know a lot of parents don't assess the emotional and mental health of their children well.

Maybe you are right. No one ever knows what is going on inside another’s head. Or even our own heads, come to think of it. We should stop trying to communicate, it is a futile endeavor.

One interesting point about students who are "thriving" that I've seen made in teaching forums involves concerns that less material is being covered in many places. Perhaps this isn't true everywhere, but with reduced expectations, more opportunities to make up late or missing work, less material covered each week and other aspects of virtual education, thriving under these circumstances could still lead to the majority of kids being very behind.

[Anonymous]

DD in 7th is thriving.
- she made it around the bend with learning how to organize and take self responsibility for her assignments last year (pre Covid) after being a hot mess in 5th on that stuff.
- she goes to class and I think actually does the work during class they assign; as a result has very little homework
- she’s a “quick” kid fortunate not to have any learning disabilities that would make it harder for her
- she has an social outlet with daily (weekday) swim team

DS in 4th doing pretty well too.
- A sitter a few hours a week has been absolutely crucial. She helps check work and coax corrections plus plays.
- even with that he needs me keeping an eye on gmail and google classroom to stay on top of him every other day or so to not skip behind.
- plays with neighbors kids outside and a buddy or two once or twice a week
- neurotypical too
- fortunate to have GREAT teachers this year.