Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious without being mean. Kudos, ladies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:COS

Super thin, very chic late 20s-mid 30s European woman (Italian or French come to mind) who relocated to DC for work. Probably lives in Dupont or in the vicinity of the 14/U corridor. Likes to buy the bulk of her clothes back home when visiting family, but COS will do for a quick thing when she's stateside. Always gets compliments for her outfits when out and about.

Ha! This is exactly me in every respect, but I'm British

This makes me giggle. I work in a museum and COS is the uniform of every curator in the joint who's not executive level. Size two, size fourteen; American or Belgian; whatever. EVERYBODY MUST WEAR COS.

COS looks almost exactly like Zara when its on someone IRL. Wearers would fight this notion tooth and nail, but its true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GAP

Born the middle child in a middle class family from middle America, Larla is too frugal to shop at Banana Republic but thinks the clothes at Old Navy are for the poors. She wouldn't be caught dead buying Safeway Select food, but rarely sets foot in a Whole Foods. Larla shops at the GAP but has been known to purchase her children's clothing from Gymboree - the sticker shock she experienced at Janie and Jack was too much for her. She drives a certified pre-owned Honda Civic and lives in Alexandria, the part in Fairfax County.

Hmmmm, you did pretty well! Nailed some of it, some not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GAP

Born the middle child in a middle class family from middle America, Larla is too frugal to shop at Banana Republic but thinks the clothes at Old Navy are for the poors. She wouldn't be caught dead buying Safeway Select food, but rarely sets foot in a Whole Foods. Larla shops at the GAP but has been known to purchase her children's clothing from Gymboree - the sticker shock she experienced at Janie and Jack was too much for her. She drives a certified pre-owned Honda Civic and lives in Alexandria, the part in Fairfax County.

Omg Im dying, I love GAP. I drive a Honda and dont buy safeway select brands or shop in whole foods.

I don't know any moms who drive a Honda Civic. But Honda Pilot or Odyssey? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:COS

Super thin, very chic late 20s-mid 30s European woman (Italian or French come to mind) who relocated to DC for work. Probably lives in Dupont or in the vicinity of the 14/U corridor. Likes to buy the bulk of her clothes back home when visiting family, but COS will do for a quick thing when she's stateside. Always gets compliments for her outfits when out and about.

Ha! This is exactly me in every respect, but I'm British

This makes me giggle. I work in a museum and COS is the uniform of every curator in the joint who's not executive level. Size two, size fourteen; American or Belgian; whatever. EVERYBODY MUST WEAR COS.

COS looks almost exactly like Zara when its on someone IRL. Wearers would fight this notion tooth and nail, but its true.

Seriously. One asymmetric pocket or random ruffle and you're in the club.

[Anonymous]

Aritzia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aritzia?

Boho arts chica from LA. Meditates with her crystals for good vibes while sipping on organic cashew milk every morning. Super spiritual, even though her Capricorn moon says otherwise (she's very in touch with her Cancer Venus, though). No one is quite sure WHY she's in DC (law school, duh, but still). Wants to be a human rights lawyer or work in women's rights; previously worked on Bloomberg's campaign through Hawkfish and holds a young professionals board membership with EMILY's List. Worked in digital branding prior to law school. Has a small, tight-circle of friends all named something like Star, West, or Skye. Very quiet and polite. Loves to read, especially poetry, but secretly looks down on people who like "mainstream" stuff like Rupi Kaur -- our Aritzia-wearer prefers Rumi. Will probably marry an Executive in a few years and become a SAHM in Chevy Chase, MD, but don't tell her that now, for she yearns to be free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:COS

Super thin, very chic late 20s-mid 30s European woman (Italian or French come to mind) who relocated to DC for work. Probably lives in Dupont or in the vicinity of the 14/U corridor. Likes to buy the bulk of her clothes back home when visiting family, but COS will do for a quick thing when she's stateside. Always gets compliments for her outfits when out and about.

Ha, guilty: does not like the selection at COS here, but stock up at COS and a couple of stores in Brussels when back home

[Anonymous]

OH! Forgot to post a brand in my write-up above.

Dolce & Gabanna

[Anonymous]

You all are hilarious! Someone please do Ann Taylor circa 2020? I'm curious who still shops there...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are hilarious! Someone please do Ann Taylor circa 2020? I'm curious who still shops there...

Ann Taylor 2020 ... I work on the Hill and want to look classy, conservative, and professional. Gray is in, gray is CHIC, and I do NOT want to stand out unless it's for my work and work ALONE. Work is number 1. I will go to great lengths to beat the Congressman I'm currently working for in the next few years. I'll use that position as a stepping stone to an ambassadorship (I'm eyeing Ireland, because I went Notre Dame and am Irish through my father, or China). Then, the White House is the goal. First female President, that's me. Larla, my stupid 3BR basement apartment roommate who works in marketing and keeps eating my food, calls me "Tracy Flick redux" but she's just jealous that I have ambition and all she has is her boyfriend, who proposed to her but still cheated on her with that skank from SKDKnickerbocker. SHE HAS NO IDEA.

I live near H St and miss the nightlife and happy hour specials, but it'll be back soon if you all STAY THE F*** HOME AND WEAR YOUR F*****G MASK.

In my weak moments, I think about giving everything I worked for up and making bank as a consultant at Deloitte or Booz, but why make PowerPoints when you can make change you can believe in?

I'd write more, but I have to go; my Uber Eats is here, and then it's time for popcorn, wine, and Scandal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are hilarious! Someone please do Ann Taylor circa 2020? I'm curious who still shops there...

Ann Taylor 2020 ... I work on the Hill and want to look classy, conservative, and professional. Gray is in, gray is CHIC, and I do NOT want to stand out unless it's for my work and work ALONE. Work is number 1. I will go to great lengths to beat the Congressman I'm currently working for in the next few years. I'll use that position as a stepping stone to an ambassadorship (I'm eyeing Ireland, because I went Notre Dame and am Irish through my father, or China). Then, the White House is the goal. First female President, that's me. Larla, my stupid 3BR basement apartment roommate who works in marketing and keeps eating my food, calls me "Tracy Flick redux" but she's just jealous that I have ambition and all she has is her boyfriend, who proposed to her but still cheated on her with that skank from SKDKnickerbocker. SHE HAS NO IDEA.

I live near H St and miss the nightlife and happy hour specials, but it'll be back soon if you all STAY THE F*** HOME AND WEAR YOUR F*****G MASK.

In my weak moments, I think about giving everything I worked for up and making bank as a consultant at Deloitte or Booz, but why make PowerPoints when you can make change you can believe in?

I'd write more, but I have to go; my Uber Eats is here, and then it's time for popcorn, wine, and Scandal!

Thank you and much love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are hilarious! Someone please do Ann Taylor circa 2020? I'm curious who still shops there...

Ann Taylor 2020 ... I work on the Hill and want to look classy, conservative, and professional. Gray is in, gray is CHIC, and I do NOT want to stand out unless it's for my work and work ALONE. Work is number 1. I will go to great lengths to beat the Congressman I'm currently working for in the next few years. I'll use that position as a stepping stone to an ambassadorship (I'm eyeing Ireland, because I went Notre Dame and am Irish through my father, or China). Then, the White House is the goal. First female President, that's me. Larla, my stupid 3BR basement apartment roommate who works in marketing and keeps eating my food, calls me "Tracy Flick redux" but she's just jealous that I have ambition and all she has is her boyfriend, who proposed to her but still cheated on her with that skank from SKDKnickerbocker. SHE HAS NO IDEA.

I live near H St and miss the nightlife and happy hour specials, but it'll be back soon if you all STAY THE F*** HOME AND WEAR YOUR F*****G MASK.

In my weak moments, I think about giving everything I worked for up and making bank as a consultant at Deloitte or Booz, but why make PowerPoints when you can make change you can believe in?

I'd write more, but I have to go; my Uber Eats is here, and then it's time for popcorn, wine, and Scandal!

Thank you and much love.

However (sorry for the aside) I just checked in on good old AT and I can't picture the person described above wearing this: https://www.anntaylor.com/petite-animal-jacquard-mock-neck-sweater/553426?skuId=30540842&defaultColor=4991&catid=cata000027&selectedColor=4991

Serious WTF? Could someone do whomever would buy and wear that monstrosity???

[Anonymous]

I love this thread, and some of these brands I’ve never heard of, but are still cracking me up.

...Sezanne

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everlane

Over-stressed, prestige-obsessed insecure overachiever who left their heart in San Francisco. Going to business school or praying daily for an acceptance from HBS, Wharton, or GSB on the daily. Has read every business book known to man and wears Allbirds unironically. Hates the dating apps but feels pressure to be booed up simply to say they did it. Has a Biden/Harris sign in their window and posts all the “right” woke pictures and hashtags on their carefully curated social media while only motivated by money and prestige in real life. Will talk a HUGE game about “doing good and doing well” and “making a difference” but never take meaningful action.

Free People

I think the bolded is going to be my new descriptor for a certain type of person. You could have just written that

Free People...hmmm, I didn't know people still wore this brand. Here's a guess:
Younger set - BoHo chic high schoolers and college kids signaling that they weren't raised by Tiger Moms or that they are rebelling against their Tiger Moms.
Older set - People who haven't bothered to update their style since the late-90s/aughts. Fairly wide range of demographics, though primarily UMC.

Now do: St. Johns.

Lucille Bluth.