This a cultural, regional and SES thing. I suppose you could make it about manners, but what is “rude” in one place might not be commonplace in another. |
My kid's friends call me by my first name.
It doesn't bother me at all. For neighbors I usually tell my kids to call them Mr. (last name) or Mrs/Ms ( last name). The only time we wouldn't do this is if we know the other family well and the adults have introduced themselves to the kids by first name and told them to use their first name only, "you can just call me Karly" etc... I hate the "Miss (first name)" thing. Yuck! The only time that makes sense is in preschool, but even then the kids could learn the last names. |
If I called an adult who wasn’t my teacher Mrs. Anything, they’d look at me as if I had three heads and laugh. It would’ve been so odd. It was simply not customary where I lived, at all. |
For family friends and close co-workers, my kids say uncle/auntie. I found it strange at first but DH insisted as it was how he was raised. Adults my kids are not close to are called Mr./Mrs. first or last name depending on who they are. |
I grew up in CA and I called my friends' parents Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Now I live in Virginia and my kids call their friends' parents Miss Amy and Mr. Greg. It's odd, actually, since I generally think of VA as being more conservative and formal than CA.
I'm not sure what I would have chosen, particularly, but we moved into a very close neighborhood with tons of friends (for kids and adults) and that's the nomenclature everyone else used so we have adopted it. |
+1. It's a cultural difference. Accusing everyone with different cultural norms of rudeness is not a very polite thing to do. The insistence of some people on titles and honorifics and hierarchies seems really fussy and insecure to me. We're all just people and we all have perfectly fine names. Genuine respect doesn't come from titles, and it certainly isn't obtained by demanding that people use a title. |
My kids generally use the name that I use for our neighbors but add Mr or Mrs before it.
For example, our next door neighbor is know as, ‘Mr. @sshole with the dog that barks at 6AM on a Saturday morning” |
First names for neighbors since that's what we call them. Auntie/uncle first name for our close friends. And we are Eastern European and not Indian. But it's still cultural.
Mr/mrs last name for people we don't really know. |
Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones, unless the adult specifically asks them to do differently.
Always start more formal unless invited to be more familiar. |
"Ma'am" and "Sir" then. If they feel it is too formal they will say "Oh please! Call me Ms. Silvia!" |
Were your co-workers also raised with/like your Dh? |
I am from the northeast and grew up calling my parents friends and my friends parents by their first name. My preference is also to be called by my first name. My kids use either first name or Ms./Mr. Firstname depending on the adult's preference. |
I'm the poster with the Filipino husband, and I forgot this part. Among those close enough to be called Auntie/Uncle, my child calls their children (if older than she is) Kuya/Ate Firstname (older brother/sister). Auntie/Uncle's parents (or people of our parents' generation) are Lola/Lolo Firstname or Lastname (grandmother/grandfather). |
Ms. / Mr. first name
Close friends that are Asian: Auntie first name |
What if the adult's preference is for Ms./Mr. Lastname? |