How often do you have thoughts like these?

[Anonymous]

I have these thoughts regularly. I don’t obsess over them, but they come and go like waves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people who don’t have these thoughts and are you really really happy? I wish I could know and get there, medication didn’t help, so how can I be like the happy people?

To the OP, every few minutes, constantly, always, even when I wake up to go pee or something i think of dying and someone finding me. The worst the absolute worst is during pregnancy and thinking about birth and dying during childbirth.

This. Currently 36 weeks pregnant with number 2 and had a good cry earlier this week because I was thinking that if something happens to me during childbirth my 3 year old won't remember me because they are too young. Absolutely gutted me then and I'm crying now thinking about it.

Anxiety is a tricky. I am extremely happy and also just so worried it could all slip away in a moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people who don’t have these thoughts and are you really really happy? I wish I could know and get there, medication didn’t help, so how can I be like the happy people?

To the OP, every few minutes, constantly, always, even when I wake up to go pee or something i think of dying and someone finding me. The worst the absolute worst is during pregnancy and thinking about birth and dying during childbirth.

I'm one of those people who rarely have these thoughts. Yes, I'm generally pretty happy, but I actually think I'm like this because I'm an engineer and am very good about letting actual odds govern what I worry about.

I also realize that I have no control over any of it, really, and that it's pointless to worry about it.

The odd thing is that I'm actually a somewhat anxious person, but it manifests in social anxiety, not this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people who don’t have these thoughts and are you really really happy? I wish I could know and get there, medication didn’t help, so how can I be like the happy people?

To the OP, every few minutes, constantly, always, even when I wake up to go pee or something i think of dying and someone finding me. The worst the absolute worst is during pregnancy and thinking about birth and dying during childbirth.

I'm one of those people who rarely have these thoughts. Yes, I'm generally pretty happy, but I actually think I'm like this because I'm an engineer and am very good about letting actual odds govern what I worry about.

I also realize that I have no control over any of it, really, and that it's pointless to worry about it.

The odd thing is that I'm actually a somewhat anxious person, but it manifests in social anxiety, not this.

This last post almost perfectly describes me as well, including being an engineer with social anxiety.

I wouldn't describe myself as particularly happy, though. Like the pp, I can usually think in terms of relative risk. And when I do fixate on things, I generally fixate on things I think I can control.

I don't tend to worry about things I don't think I can control. As an example, my wife nearly died in childbirth. In the moment, of course I was worried. But after the fact I was much much more inclined to feel anger rather than worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, save the “get help OP” comments. I am truly trying to gauge, on an anonymous forum, how often you have these thoughts.
Never-rarely-sometimes-often

Flashing images of:
Your child getting hit by a car
Your child dying in your arms
Freak accidents/brain injury

Thoughts of:
This is too good to be true, this won’t last, we are being set up for heartache.
Hold this moment, might not come again.

Fears:
Tumors
Cancer
Death

All the time, but only briefly, and it's mostly when things are good. I lost a baby to cancer and it was traumatic, and it made me realize how fragile life is, and how important it is to appreciate each moment. But it has oddly also given me less anxiety about illness or death - I've already experienced a great loss and know what it's like, and know intimately that it's just part of life. A part of life that I had not really wanted to think about before that happened.

We are all going to die at some point. So the greatest risk is not using your time here wisely thinking and worrying about pointless stuff you have zero control over. The greatest risk is living in fear instead of living your life fully and with love. For yourself and others. Let yourself experience joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please, save the “get help OP” comments. I am truly trying to gauge, on an anonymous forum, how often you have these thoughts.
Never-rarely-sometimes-often

Flashing images of:
Your child getting hit by a car
Your child dying in your arms
Freak accidents/brain injury

Thoughts of:
This is too good to be true, this won’t last, we are being set up for heartache.
Hold this moment, might not come again.

Fears:
Tumors
Cancer
Death

All the time, but only briefly, and it's mostly when things are good. I lost a baby to cancer and it was traumatic, and it made me realize how fragile life is, and how important it is to appreciate each moment. But it has oddly also given me less anxiety about illness or death - I've already experienced a great loss and know what it's like, and know intimately that it's just part of life. A part of life that I had not really wanted to think about before that happened.

We are all going to die at some point. So the greatest risk is not using your time here wisely thinking and worrying about pointless stuff you have zero control over. The greatest risk is living in fear instead of living your life fully and with love. For yourself and others. Let yourself experience joy.

That's not how anxiety works. That's like telling someone who is depressed "don't be sad, be happy!"

[Anonymous]

Never ever. Sorry. I think I'm on the "Not Anxious" side at all though.

This was a great recent article about the crisis of anxious parenting. https://www.theatlantic.com/press-releases/archive/2020/04/the-anxious-child-and-the-crisis-of-modern-parenting/609901/

[Anonymous]

Multiple times a day before I found the right combo. of meds. Now, rarely, and only if actual danger seems imminent.

[Anonymous]

I think of all of those things, OP. And then I use my rational brain to determine that they are unlikely to happen and shrug them off. I think if you have a problem perseverating on these types of thoughts, then it becomes a disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Multiple times a day before I found the right combo. of meds. Now, rarely, and only if actual danger seems imminent.

What was the right combo of meds?

[Anonymous]

My mom has these thoughts constantly and her kids are grown.

This stuff pops into my head occasionally but I can recognize it is an intrusive thought and that most of these things are outside my control. I'm also medicated, which helps even though my main diagnosis is not anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Maybe once a month? If it was more than that, or something that was affecting my ability to live my life on a regular basis, I would seek help. And when I do have those thoughts they are generally pretty fleeting.

[Anonymous]

I’m always worried about cancer. I just had another skin check for moles and am stressing b/c I won’t get a full check up until October to screen for breast or ovarian.

I’m not super worried about my kids, except when they are riding in cars with other people. Which isn’t often... we generally live a carefree life.

But the idea of not worrying about this stuff stresses me out, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multiple times a day before I found the right combo. of meds. Now, rarely, and only if actual danger seems imminent.

What was the right combo of meds?

I tried every SSRI under the sun until landing upon an SNRI + Benzodiazepine combo. For me, cymbalta daily + Xanax as needed is perfect. With an occasional ambien for sleep.

[Anonymous]

Never. Please treat your anxiety.