Corporate mistress

[Anonymous]

Does your DH know that you know about the affair? If he does, then out of self-respect, I could not stay.

[Anonymous]

OP- talk to a divorce lawyer. Make him sign a post-nuptial agreement which outlines support for you and your son.

Let the lawyer know about the infidelity on his part.

This is the best thing you can do for now and will pave the way and make divorce easier in the future. Plus, it will give you ease of mind.

You have not said what the relationship was like otherwise and if there is any hope for reconciliation or therapy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

It’s not my native language, sorry for typos or errors.

NP: Does corporate mean something in your native language that it doesn’t in English?

[Anonymous]

OP here. My husband doesn’t know I am aware of his mistress. I just learned myself and now trying to see if I can live with that. No “body access” is required on his part. I feel terrible without someone to lean to at night but at the same time have no time or desire to go outside marriage for that.

Both mistress and I are European, we are both equally educated and I was employed first 2 years of marriage until we got our sons diagnosis. I feel really depressed now, not because of him, but because while I was tied up at home with our son, he used these years to build a start up company with his mistress. He groomed her to become an executive from initially low position. Gave her love and expensive gifts while being an asshole at home. She got the best of him and her life. And I became a total loss professionally.

Which is why I wonder if I should at least try to go for an extra masters degree at his expense now? There is limited hiring now, and many companies first taje for telework positions. But I really feel need to communicate with people, go to real office or real school to get away from it all.

And yes, I am stashing some money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- talk to a divorce lawyer. Make him sign a post-nuptial agreement which outlines support for you and your son.

Let the lawyer know about the infidelity on his part.

This is the best thing you can do for now and will pave the way and make divorce easier in the future. Plus, it will give you ease of mind.

You have not said what the relationship was like otherwise and if there is any hope for reconciliation or therapy, etc.

My husband was very difficult at home particular in the last 4 years. But even then, I took that as him possibly being tired from work, having aging issues, and not a mistress. We had good sex life until about a year ago, and very happy family trips, to my friends and his friends. He was very good in hiding her. We were very much in love and it was perfect marriage for at least 10 years, leaving issues with our son apart.

I offered him marriage therapy he doesn’t want to. But at the same time he says divorce is not in his cards (the mistress is married). I think he might be also using our son’s condition as a justification for her as to why he can’t change his life and divorce. In many areas, my husband is living a pretty comfy life with his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

It’s not my native language, sorry for typos or errors.

NP: Does corporate mean something in your native language that it doesn’t in English?

No it doesn’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband doesn’t know I am aware of his mistress. I just learned myself and now trying to see if I can live with that. No “body access” is required on his part. I feel terrible without someone to lean to at night but at the same time have no time or desire to go outside marriage for that.

Both mistress and I are European, we are both equally educated and I was employed first 2 years of marriage until we got our sons diagnosis. I feel really depressed now, not because of him, but because while I was tied up at home with our son, he used these years to build a start up company with his mistress. He groomed her to become an executive from initially low position. Gave her love and expensive gifts while being an asshole at home. She got the best of him and her life. And I became a total loss professionally.

Which is why I wonder if I should at least try to go for an extra masters degree at his expense now? There is limited hiring now, and many companies first taje for telework positions. But I really feel need to communicate with people, go to real office or real school to get away from it all.

And yes, I am stashing some money.

There’s a lot of ridiculous people on here. If he’s rich and you’re leading separate lives and you have a SN child to take care of, you do what’s best for you and your son. That quite likely means staying married, spending his money, and getting that degree. Divorcing now is standing on a principle that ultimately makes you worse off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have been wondering what country you were born in. Your omission of articles -- "the, an, a" -- stands out. It does, however, convince me that you are not a troll. If I were you I would not even think about leaving before my SN graduated from high school. I would try to save money. The marriage is dead, but not your son's future. I am not surprised that your DH prefers someone older. There is a certain kind of man who wants a woman who does not truly want/need him. They want women with equal or superior wealth, social standing, etc. They want to feel desired for themselves, not the material benefits they provide.

His mistress IS with him for material benefits. Would she sleep or travel with him, if he didn’t raise her up the corporate ladder? If he didn’t make her a shareholder, included in employee options plan ? There were many smart ladies joining his startup 10 years ago, and only one attractive lady made it all the way up. Of course, now she probably feels like a very successful business woman on her own right. My it’s my husband who “made” her.

And he did nothing for me, beside confining me at the house with the SN child abd buying couple joint properties (in which I invested as well when I worked).

[Anonymous]

I think 'corporate' is appropriate in this context because the ties are not merely personal. Are you sure that she had 'the best' of him? Perhaps he regards the two of you as complementary: he gets things from you that she cannot offer and vice versa. It would be critical for me to understand his motivation for staying with me all these years. You said the marriage and sex were great until recently. Is it just duty or does he love you? I would absolutely go back to school on his dime; not doing so would be irresponsible. Please do not consider yourself 'totally' lost, professionally speaking. You will recover.

[Anonymous]

In thinking about this more, OP, I actually think that his not knowing that you know about the mistress gives you a huge tactical advantage. I would not tell him until I had that M.A. I would, in fact, after a short break, be a better wife to him in order to lull him into a sense of false security. I find it easy to be patient and affectionate with someone in whom I no longer have any emotional investment.

[Anonymous]

But don't you own half the company, OP? I think you will be handsomely remunerated for the years at home. I would probably be on the verge of poisoning him, myself, and do relate to your deep frustration but, with the help of a good lawyer, you will get the money. And another thing you have going for you is that you are a European. I am black but DH is from Western Europe, so I know that there is a certain cachet still. In my experience, European women are more independent than the typical American woman. You are an educated, attractive, person with a equity in several properties, a valuable passport, and a great deal of solid life experience. You will, as I said, recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

I am so sorry. He has not left because the other woman is not leaving her own family. Also he would have to split whatever interests he has in the company with you. You have evidence- VA is a divorce with fault state. Consult an attorney on how to best protect yourself and your son. Build savings now, prepay on bills, rental fees, keep separate cash. Open a trust for your son, transfer all property, list son and yourself as trustees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

It’s not my native language, sorry for typos or errors.

NP: Does corporate mean something in your native language that it doesn’t in English?

No it doesn’t

Ok. Do you just mean that your H is cheating with a coworker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out? DH finds a new job and goes no contact recommitting to the marriage or you divorce. It’s not difficult.

Via a mutual friend. And after some more research, I found that so many of his colleagues knew about it all along, and continued to come to our house, party with us, gave gifts to our son. I am totally shocked about morals, not just about my husband's, but our whole social circle!

Wow, are you glad the friend told you or wish you didn’t know? Perhaps the circle of friends either thought you knew, or that it was none of their business to disclose but still be friends with you because you haven’t done anything or maybe even covering it up if there’s something in it for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many years has this affair been going on??

I have evidence since 2016 but she joined the company even before that

Was she known to him before working at the company?