How to keep kids safe around a home pool?

[Anonymous]

No way OP. What are you smoking? You cannot seriously think pf leaving a baby and a toddler in a house with a pool with grand parents and a husband who checks out if his parents are there.

A friend's friend had a sister who opened a door and fell into their pool (when she was 2). She is now a disabled (mentally) adult and was just fine before this accident.

[Anonymous]

The pool must be equipped with a retractable cover or it’s a no go.

Let me remind you that in Florida, drowning in pools is the number 1 killer of kids and it is 100% preventable.

Our pool has a retractable cover that is strong enough to walk on and the pool is only opened when someone is in it. If the grandparents don’t have this, I would not allow my kids to be there.

[Anonymous]

My parents have a pool in Florida and they are incredibly responsible. But even given that we don’t leave anyone but our capable swimmer six year old with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP is deranged to leave her infant and toddler with them - AND in a home with a pool.

Grow up, OP.

We have a pool and had one when kids were born. They were taught from the get-go that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES could they ever go to pool without me or their father. They also had to wear life vests when in back yard. We had a cover that locked as well as a lock at tops of doors. We never had a problem. When we had parties, I hired two Red Cross certified life guards and everyone, including adults, had to follow their rules. Pools are safe but you set up rules early.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t do it. Skip the wedding or find alternate childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To OP--Although some people have said there is no way they would trust their parents or inlaws to properly keep the kids safe in this situation I have re-read your original post and nowhere do you say that your inlaws don't properly watch your kids or that they are feeble minded or careless. So why not find a safety solution as you originally mentioned? Not all older people are careless and demented. You don't say how old they are but generally people in their 60s or 70s and many in their 80s are fairly sharp and vigilant in caring for young kids. Many parents (as opposed to grandparents) are much less careful, in my opinion.

So, I commend you for trying to find an acceptable solution and I also admire the inlaws for wanting to do whatever it takes to keep the little ones safe. Many many people have pools and young kids and do not have pool accidents. It is not a given that young kids around pools will drown.

I would suggest that if you have reservations then you let the inlaws install a fence or locks or whatever and then go there with the kids for a few days and observe the situation and then decide whether it is acceptable to leave the kids there without you and the husband being there.

NP here. They said the kids would be fine because the door dings when they open it. Pool owners on this thread have stated that the door dinging isn't a sufficient safety measure. I don't this means the grandparents are careless or demented, just that they are likely uninformed about the dangers of pools. And anybody who has to take care of two little kids, one of whom is in diapers and the other who is extremely attracted to water, risks a lot by having them around pools

[Anonymous]

I say no way.
My husband had a drowning incident when he was child, he pushed open the doors to the pool and was underwater for a few minutes before anyone noticed what was going on.

My MIL claims to be very cautious of pools since then. They don’t have a pool alarm but they “always” keep the door locked to the pool, the have a dead bolt and a lock up on top of the door too.

Over the summer we went to visit them, my FIL walked out to grill something, my MIL was in the kitchen and guess what the door wasn’t locked since my FIL was out there. My toddler was reaching for the door and tried to open it. Thank god I was on him like a hawk because he could have opened the door and the grill isn’t really close to the door or the pool so my FIL would have had no idea the toddler got out and my MIL isn’t very Mobile.

After that I promised myself the kids aren’t allowed to go there by themselves.
I grew up woth a pool and we had an alarm, they aren’t for stopping kids it’s an alert to let you know someone is going out. Kids are freaking fast, I can’t imagine what would happen in the few seconds it would take a grandparent to become aware of the door alarm and then go to after the kids.

It’s a hard no for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP is deranged to leave her infant and toddler with them - AND in a home with a pool.

Grow up, OP.

We have a pool and had one when kids were born. They were taught from the get-go that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES could they ever go to pool without me or their father. They also had to wear life vests when in back yard. We had a cover that locked as well as a lock at tops of doors. We never had a problem. When we had parties, I hired two Red Cross certified life guards and everyone, including adults, had to follow their rules. Pools are safe but you set up rules early.

These are great rules but OPs parents don’t follow them.

[Anonymous]

I'm usually pretty easy going with kid safety because when I went to law school I learned about the Hand formula and now I calculate all risk with that. I let my 10yo play in the road of our cul-de-sac, I let my kids eat grapes and hot dogs (I do watch them though), I let my kids stay home by themselves for periods of up to two hours, my 7-year old bikes by himself to school, etc.

But here's the thing about pools: kids are quiet when they are drowning, it doesn't take long to drown, and drowning responsible for about ten deaths per day in the US. And it's not like all these kids are parented by people who didn't care about them or didn't intend to watch them. Not letting your grandparents watch them is a really easy way of drastically reducing the odds of losing your children.

[Anonymous]

I remember reading this tragic story a few months before a family vacation to a beach house with my family. After I read it I talked to my DH and we agreed one of us would be on toddler duty at all times and we always would verbally acknowledge whose turn it was. We didn’t even trust my mom with this task because she isn’t a great and nimble swimmer if something did happen. I say if you can’t trust the grandparents to dedicate watching your kid like a hawk like we did, it isn’t worth it. Pools are dangerous at this age, especially if your child had a fascination.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.popsugar.com/v/s/www.popsugar.com/family/Mom-Creates-Water-Guardian-Lanyards-After-Son-Drowns-45056443/amp%3famp_js_v=0.1&usqp=mq331AQCKAE%253D#ampf=

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say no way.


My MIL claims to be very cautious of pools since then. They don’t have a pool alarm but they “always” keep the door locked to the pool, the have a dead bolt and a lock up on top of the door too.

Over the summer we went to visit them, my FIL walked out to grill something, my MIL was in the kitchen and guess what the door wasn’t locked since my FIL was out there. My toddler was reaching for the door and tried to open it. Thank god I was on him like a hawk because he could have opened the door and the grill isn’t really close to the door or the pool so my FIL would have had no idea the toddler got out and my MIL isn’t very Mobile.

22:23 poster here. This is exactly what happens at my IL's. Door's 'always' locked except when...Grandpa is grilling...Grandpa goes out to the shed...Grandma waters the plants..ect. So it's often not really locked.

[Anonymous]

Op we have nearly identical situation and I don’t leave my kids there. Grandparents forget what toddlers and preschoolers are like. Visiting them is very tense for me because I’m always keeping an eye out. They are not vigilant.

[Anonymous]

Just reading the OP has given me anxiety. Do not ever leave your kids alone with their grandparents if there is a backyard pool. Especially not with these grandparents who think this is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

I think people are overreacting. Skip a wedding just for a pool? If you don’t trust your ILs or husband enough to make sure two eyes are on your toddler at all times, then hire a babysitter for the night whose job will literally be to keep two eyes on your toddler all night. Then go enjoy your wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overreacting. Skip a wedding just for a pool? If you don’t trust your ILs or husband enough to make sure two eyes are on your toddler at all times, then hire a babysitter for the night whose job will literally be to keep two eyes on your toddler all night. Then go enjoy your wedding.

I don't see why she would have to skip a wedding. Just get adjoining rooms at the hotel and grandparents can stay in one, op and her husband in the other, and grandparents can take care of the kids there.