Why do people who make 500k + not "feel" rich?

[Anonymous]

Here is my BIL's story. Makes over 500K, with the bonus a lot more. Two kids, one with issues, squandered 4 years of tuition, kids became a pot head, blamed it on issues... Which, ok, fair. Was a a cheap husband to my lovely SIL, until she decided enough. Then he decide, I will spend the money to save the marriage. Didn't work, now he is paying his dd's tuition, both her and his son a house, one, not two, bough SIL a major farm, got two rental properties, pays for his sons vacations to scuba dive resorts in the Pacific( how can a young adult be responsible to scuba blue spots but not to finish college?) bought farm animals for fun, has 6 cars, and he himself drives a wreck... So, marriage not saved, kids a mess, houses destroyed by animals, looks like a horror house...But, hey, at least he can pay for it all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought that rich was making more than your brother/sister-in-law! Teddy Roosevelt was right though that "comparison is the thief of joy" and who we compare ourselves to matters as the following articles attest:

https://petetheplanner.com/comparison-is-a-costly-habit/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/multiple-choice/201903/is-comparison-really-the-thief-joy

I think social media has had a huge impact on this since you're no longer comparing yourself to your neighbors but to the proverbial Kardashians and others online through a neverending stream of posts and articles showing others having their "best life."

This! Husband and I grew up in lower middle class families. Went to public school, took one vacation a year close by to the OBX or went camping. We got our groceries from Walmart and celebrated birthdays at Chili’s. We are a young couple with a HHI of 400k now which will continue to grow. Our lifestyle has changed designer shoes and clothes, trips to Europe, and skiing in Colorado, shopping at Whole Foods and never checking prices. Eating out at fancy restaurants once a week. We don’t have kids yet, but when we do I’m sure we will put them in private. We are constantly surrounded by people trying to be better than the next person...showing off vacations on social media....posting pics of them drinking champagne in Cartier bracelets. This world is focused on materialism and who has the best/ who is the happiest/ prettiest. When you make more you spend more to “keep up”. Hubby is surrounded by people at work who make 1 mil +. We go on vacations with them and it can be hard to feel like we “fit in”

LOLOLOLOL honey take lots of pictures now because you have the spending habits of someone with $1M coming off a trust every year. This is not a $400k/year lifestyle. You aren't your "hubby's" work colleagues, so stop striving and save some money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of posts on this so I believe it but I don't understand it.

Is it really true that the .01% is that much better off than everyone else so it's them and everyone else? I feel like that is the underlying argument about high earners not being rich.

OP, I make over that, and, I am not sure what 'feeling rich' means? I work hard, and, am grateful for it. But, do I 'feel rich'? I am not even remotely sure what that is, or, what it means. Maybe you can better explain your thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of posts on this so I believe it but I don't understand it.

Is it really true that the .01% is that much better off than everyone else so it's them and everyone else? I feel like that is the underlying argument about high earners not being rich.

OP, I make over that, and, I am not sure what 'feeling rich' means? I work hard, and, am grateful for it. But, do I 'feel rich'? I am not even remotely sure what that is, or, what it means. Maybe you can better explain your thinking?

DP. Pretty sure the OP means why don't you wealthy people feel wealthy. It's not rocket science. If you make over $500k a year, you are wealthy. Period. If you don't feel wealthy, WTH is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because 85% of my pay is spent on taxes, savings, childcare, mortgage and education.

One day I’ll be rich when the kids go off to college. Until then most of my money is going to the future full pay college, childcare required to keep my high paying job and savings.

You are rich now...and ridiculous if you don't realize this.

If you are saying 85% goes to those things, and those things include savings, that means that remaining 15% is discretionary, correct? 15% of 500k is well more than the median income in this country. Your extra money after you pay your mortgage and all your bills AND put away savings is significantly more than most people earn all year. But you don't feel rich?

This is why really wealthy people suck. They have so much, but they don't appreciate it and they just want more, more, more.

[Anonymous]

Is not how much you make but how much you spend and save. If you live in a high COL area with high taxes plus have child care costs you might not be saving much. Being rich relates to your net worth. You may make a lot of money but if your net worth is low you might not feel rich. There are certainly a lot of people who make a lot of money and just piss it away on indulging themselves who might feel rich but really aren’t.

[Anonymous]

We make $500K and don't feel rich. First of all, we try to save a lot so that we can soon downshift to lower stress, lower pay jobs. Second, when you have two people with demanding jobs and no local family the economics are very different than a family where one parent makes $500K and the other parent stays at home. We have to outsource a lot to make our lives manageable. We spend about $35K each year on child care and our kids are in school (that does not include camp). That is because we need a very reliable babysitter with a car who can drive our kids to activities (neither of our kids do travel sports, if you don't count year-round swim). We also have a lot of money in savings that we try to forget about so that money doesn't make me feel rich, because it made me feel rich I would spend it. We only have one car and it is old -- we do take a few nice vacations a year (maybe $15K/year).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make $500K and don't feel rich. First of all, we try to save a lot so that we can soon downshift to lower stress, lower pay jobs. Second, when you have two people with demanding jobs and no local family the economics are very different than a family where one parent makes $500K and the other parent stays at home. We have to outsource a lot to make our lives manageable. We spend about $35K each year on child care and our kids are in school (that does not include camp). That is because we need a very reliable babysitter with a car who can drive our kids to activities (neither of our kids do travel sports, if you don't count year-round swim). We also have a lot of money in savings that we try to forget about so that money doesn't make me feel rich, because it made me feel rich I would spend it. We only have one car and it is old -- we do take a few nice vacations a year (maybe $15K/year).

Translation:
We are able to save a ton of money, but too stupid to realize that most people can't save anything.
We want the money and we refuse to have one of us stay at home and have less money.
We are able to afford insane care for our kids, and we can spend 70K for child care for school age children(which must be a private school!)
We have a full time nanny.
We take nice vacations.
There is no measure to our greed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought that rich was making more than your brother/sister-in-law! Teddy Roosevelt was right though that "comparison is the thief of joy" and who we compare ourselves to matters as the following articles attest:

https://petetheplanner.com/comparison-is-a-costly-habit/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/multiple-choice/201903/is-comparison-really-the-thief-joy

I think social media has had a huge impact on this since you're no longer comparing yourself to your neighbors but to the proverbial Kardashians and others online through a neverending stream of posts and articles showing others having their "best life."

This! Husband and I grew up in lower middle class families. Went to public school, took one vacation a year close by to the OBX or went camping. We got our groceries from Walmart and celebrated birthdays at Chili’s. We are a young couple with a HHI of 400k now which will continue to grow. Our lifestyle has changed designer shoes and clothes, trips to Europe, and skiing in Colorado, shopping at Whole Foods and never checking prices. Eating out at fancy restaurants once a week. We don’t have kids yet, but when we do I’m sure we will put them in private. We are constantly surrounded by people trying to be better than the next person...showing off vacations on social media....posting pics of them drinking champagne in Cartier bracelets. This world is focused on materialism and who has the best/ who is the happiest/ prettiest. When you make more you spend more to “keep up”. Hubby is surrounded by people at work who make 1 mil +. We go on vacations with them and it can be hard to feel like we “fit in”

You sound insecure and utterly ridiculous dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of posts on this so I believe it but I don't understand it.

Is it really true that the .01% is that much better off than everyone else so it's them and everyone else? I feel like that is the underlying argument about high earners not being rich.

OP, I make over that, and, I am not sure what 'feeling rich' means? I work hard, and, am grateful for it. But, do I 'feel rich'? I am not even remotely sure what that is, or, what it means. Maybe you can better explain your thinking?

DP. Pretty sure the OP means why don't you wealthy people feel wealthy. It's not rocket science. If you make over $500k a year, you are wealthy. Period. If you don't feel wealthy, WTH is wrong with you?

Well, first off, you can make $500K a year, and, have no debt, have $200K in debt, or $3mm in debt. It's not rocket science, as you said. Nothing is wrong with me. What is wrong with you?! The OP's question, and premise, is very one dimensional. He/she seems to arrive at the conclusion that if you make $500K a year, you are both wealthy AND feel rich. What about if you only make $499K a year? Ya can't feel rich yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make $500K and don't feel rich. First of all, we try to save a lot so that we can soon downshift to lower stress, lower pay jobs. Second, when you have two people with demanding jobs and no local family the economics are very different than a family where one parent makes $500K and the other parent stays at home. We have to outsource a lot to make our lives manageable. We spend about $35K each year on child care and our kids are in school (that does not include camp). That is because we need a very reliable babysitter with a car who can drive our kids to activities (neither of our kids do travel sports, if you don't count year-round swim). We also have a lot of money in savings that we try to forget about so that money doesn't make me feel rich, because it made me feel rich I would spend it. We only have one car and it is old -- we do take a few nice vacations a year (maybe $15K/year).

Maybe you'd feel rich if you compared yourself to a couple who make $100K. They, too, try to save a lot so that they can downshift to lower stress jobs. They would like to outsource a lot to make their lives manageable, but they cannot afford to. They spend a much higher percentage of their income on child care, but because they can't afford $35K each year, they worry about the quality of the care. They would love to have a very reliable babysitter, because their lower-paying jobs don't give them much time off. They can't forget that they don't have money in savings--if they had any money in savings, they would feel rich! They also only have one car, older and less reliable than yours, and they dream of taking one decent vacation a year.

Feel better about yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of posts on this so I believe it but I don't understand it.

Is it really true that the .01% is that much better off than everyone else so it's them and everyone else? I feel like that is the underlying argument about high earners not being rich.

OP, I make over that, and, I am not sure what 'feeling rich' means? I work hard, and, am grateful for it. But, do I 'feel rich'? I am not even remotely sure what that is, or, what it means. Maybe you can better explain your thinking?

DP. Pretty sure the OP means why don't you wealthy people feel wealthy. It's not rocket science. If you make over $500k a year, you are wealthy. Period. If you don't feel wealthy, WTH is wrong with you?

May I ask what your income is? As people are saying, it’s all relative. If you, or the people in your circle all make $70k, then $500k seems “rich.” But boring life stuff sucks a lot of it away. Aside from taxes (which takes a lot, btw) then there is also a big mortgage, tuition, and all sorts of other bills.

But. Yes, $500k means you get to buy organic, wear nicer clothes, take vacations, and drive a nicer car. But not “too” nice! 500k still means you have to be careful and stay within budgets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because 85% of my pay is spent on taxes, savings, childcare, mortgage and education.

One day I’ll be rich when the kids go off to college. Until then most of my money is going to the future full pay college, childcare required to keep my high paying job and savings.

But you don't have to do that. Kids can get scholarships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $500K and don't feel rich. First of all, we try to save a lot so that we can soon downshift to lower stress, lower pay jobs. Second, when you have two people with demanding jobs and no local family the economics are very different than a family where one parent makes $500K and the other parent stays at home. We have to outsource a lot to make our lives manageable. We spend about $35K each year on child care and our kids are in school (that does not include camp). That is because we need a very reliable babysitter with a car who can drive our kids to activities (neither of our kids do travel sports, if you don't count year-round swim). We also have a lot of money in savings that we try to forget about so that money doesn't make me feel rich, because it made me feel rich I would spend it. We only have one car and it is old -- we do take a few nice vacations a year (maybe $15K/year).

Maybe you'd feel rich if you compared yourself to a couple who make $100K. They, too, try to save a lot so that they can downshift to lower stress jobs. They would like to outsource a lot to make their lives manageable, but they cannot afford to. They spend a much higher percentage of their income on child care, but because they can't afford $35K each year, they worry about the quality of the care. They would love to have a very reliable babysitter, because their lower-paying jobs don't give them much time off. They can't forget that they don't have money in savings--if they had any money in savings, they would feel rich! They also only have one car, older and less reliable than yours, and they dream of taking one decent vacation a year.

Feel better about yourself?

DP. She won't. Greedy, needy, clueless people can never understand somebody else's life. Not do they want to. They are immersed in their own negativity all day long. Nor does she want to even entertain the possibility that her post here is out of touch. That would mean admitting that she is not as smart as she thinks. No doubt, most of the posts about how stupid people don't save and make no plans ahead for snow days, car repairs, housing projects are written by this same exact troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because 85% of my pay is spent on taxes, savings, childcare, mortgage and education.

One day I’ll be rich when the kids go off to college. Until then most of my money is going to the future full pay college, childcare required to keep my high paying job and savings.

This is ridiculous. We are in the same position. I feel rich because we can do all these things and not really worry. People in similar circumstances who don't feel rich are whiners with no sense of perspective.