What are you currently spending on birthday presents for class parties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how much time I have. Sometimes we just get a card. I always feel crummy about it. We don’t ever really know these kids and I have no idea what to get them, and I ask their parents but they rarely respond.

This is awful. You know the kids well enough to attend their parties you have no more or less time than the rest of us. Gmafb - you can get them something your kids would like, a gift card, cash. So because you feign not knowing what to get them, are too busy and their parents don’t tell you what to buy - you have your kid hand them a card and it isn’t because you can’t afford a gift?! Dear Lord, you suck.

No I don’t actually know the kids. My kid is in preschool. She gets an invite every second or third week. We rarely can make it to the parties, there’s not usually enough notice as we work weekends, and I never even know who the parents are...they leave the invite in child’s cubby. I do RSVP promptly though. Thanks for judging me so much. You’re not very kind.

We’re not talking about the parties you don’t make it to. Whether YOU know the kid is not relevant. If you accept a bday party invitation, you show up with a gift. Unless there is a valid reason not to: cannot afford, party said no gifts, you’re ill, etc. You initially at least said you feel crummy about just giving a card but now you seem to justify it. It’s pretty bad to put your kid in that position and makes the family look bad.

No. I just think the previous poster was super rude and taking a bad day out on an online stranger.

Not rude at all.

And to the other poster who said we hold parties to see our friends, of course. But in our culture, a bday gift is the socially appropriate thing to bring. This person didn’t say she couldn’t afford a fit but rather was busy, didn’t know the kid well and the parent didn’t tell her what to bring. There’s a reason she feels crummy about bribing no gift - because it goes against a social norm. At parties where presents are opened, she doesn’t feel bad for her kid?

[Anonymous]

I spend $10-20 depending on the kid and situation. More for a close friend. I see nothing wrong with below 5 but it really depends on the present. Some of the stuff is junk but every once in a while they get expensive older toys that they are trying to get rid of. I usually stockpile board games that are usually $25-40 when I pick them up for under $10. Some of the best gifts we've gotten are books but my child loves getting books as when we are ask I will say books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for confirming that I thought that about 20 was appropriate. I always get books (kids are too little to have much say or really know what classmate wants) but my DH thinks I'm a killjoy.

My son was thrilled to get books this year. The parents got ones we didn't know about but their kids loved. It was great but mine loves reading. I usually ask the parents if I don't know. I actually said books.

[Anonymous]

$25 is the floor for us. $35 if we know the parents, and $50 is it is a close friend.

Our kids normally get gifts in the region of $10-$15. I am ok with giving others more than what they give us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how much time I have. Sometimes we just get a card. I always feel crummy about it. We don’t ever really know these kids and I have no idea what to get them, and I ask their parents but they rarely respond.

This is awful. You know the kids well enough to attend their parties you have no more or less time than the rest of us. Gmafb - you can get them something your kids would like, a gift card, cash. So because you feign not knowing what to get them, are too busy and their parents don’t tell you what to buy - you have your kid hand them a card and it isn’t because you can’t afford a gift?! Dear Lord, you suck.

No I don’t actually know the kids. My kid is in preschool. She gets an invite every second or third week. We rarely can make it to the parties, there’s not usually enough notice as we work weekends, and I never even know who the parents are...they leave the invite in child’s cubby. I do RSVP promptly though. Thanks for judging me so much. You’re not very kind.

We’re not talking about the parties you don’t make it to. Whether YOU know the kid is not relevant. If you accept a bday party invitation, you show up with a gift. Unless there is a valid reason not to: cannot afford, party said no gifts, you’re ill, etc. You initially at least said you feel crummy about just giving a card but now you seem to justify it. It’s pretty bad to put your kid in that position and makes the family look bad.

No. I just think the previous poster was super rude and taking a bad day out on an online stranger.

I actually don’t think the previous poster was rude at all. I have certainly seen worse in DCUM. But I do think it’s rude to show up with just a card.

Pp could very easily have picked up a $25 amazon gift card. I keep a drawer full of amazon, target and Barnes and nobles cards. Sometimes I will get an experience gift card and print it out. I have printed out amazon gift cards and put in hand made card from my child.

[Anonymous]

Those gift cards are just in case gifts. It has come in handy for last min parties. When kids get older, some kids don’t have parties and parents will ask child for a birthday play date or outing. Those gift cards are good for those types of birthday celebrations.

[Anonymous]

Typically $15, no more than $20 for some random school friend. Close friends we will go higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$25 is the floor for us. $35 if we know the parents, and $50 is it is a close friend.

Our kids normally get gifts in the region of $10-$15. I am ok with giving others more than what they give us.

I would think it really strange if some family spent like $50 on my kid’s birthday present. That’s a weird flex.

[Anonymous]

$50 for 9 year old parties. They are way more intimate affairs with a lot of entertainment over a longer period of time. Think escape rooms, Ninja warrior courses, mini golf, sleepovers, etc.