How do you have your children address other adults?

[Anonymous]

Children are not the equal of adults and they learn respect by calling non-family members by Mr., Ms, Mrs. close friends Miss/Mr first name and very close friends uncle or aunt. I have no qualms in correcting children who have called me by my first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children are not the equal of adults and they learn respect by calling non-family members by Mr., Ms, Mrs. close friends Miss/Mr first name and very close friends uncle or aunt. I have no qualms in correcting children who have called me by my first name.

Children don’t learn respect through arbitrary, authoritarian rules. They learn it through watching adults live kind and thoughtful lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very regional. We do what people here I live now do (which is first name only) and when we lived in my home state, we did Miss first name which is what people did there.

This is so true. I grew up in the south and my grandmama would’ve whacked me with a wooden spoon if I called one of her friends Julie or Miss Julie. Mrs. Lastname was the only acceptable option. My kids were born in the Midwest, and we started with Mr. and Mrs. Lastname, but quickly modified it to Mr. and Ms. Firstname because that seemed more common. Now in San Francisco, and everyone is on a first name basis.

You don’t want your kids to be the rude kids, so I’d do at least the minimum respectable form of address. Just remember that it can be confusing for little kids if their parents insist on them addressing everyone as Mrs. Lastname and you insist on them calling you Larla because you don’t want to feel old.

I think that confusion is good for kids. Life is confusing. As you see on this thread, people have a wide variety of ways of being addressed that they find respectful and appropriate-better to teach kids to be flexible, read the signs, or ask than have them assume one way is always correct.

[Anonymous]

Teachers (per their introduction) are Ms./Mr. Lastname. Family friends/kid friends' parents are their preference - either Mr./Ms. Firstname or Mr./Ms. Lastname. Very close family friends are Aunt/Uncle Firstname.

[Anonymous]

We default to Mr. Bob. I’ve been teaching my 2nd grader to ask adults “should I call you Mr Bob?”
The response is usually “yes, that’s fine” or “just call me Bob”
I have had one “I prefer Mr Jones”, so we respect that too.

[Anonymous]

My kids don’t call adults anything. If they must, I might hear them say “Larlo’s dad.” I’ve taught them that last names are always safe, teachers are always Ms./Mr. LastName, close friends can be Miss FirstName, if someone states a preference, use that instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children are not the equal of adults and they learn respect by calling non-family members by Mr., Ms, Mrs. close friends Miss/Mr first name and very close friends uncle or aunt. I have no qualms in correcting children who have called me by my first name.

I have no problem with you stating your preference. But. Kids are equal to adults and they should be taught to respect everyone. Using arbitrary titles doesn’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Chiming in here. Close friends are "Aunt/Uncle" or sometimes "Miss/Mr first name" and everyone else is "Miss/Mr first name" unless I know for a fact their last name, then we try to use that. We have female friends/acquaintances that have kept their maiden name and I don't even know which one to address them by. Teachers have been Ms. last name and Ms. first name in our experience.

My dad was VERY "you use Ms/Mr last name" so I still do that even as an adult sometimes!

[Anonymous]

I grew up in this area (Northern VA), and friend's parents preferred all different things. The military parents usually wanted Mr/Mrs. Last-name, my parent's friends who were mainly from further north wanted to called just first name, some aunt/uncle first name.

I have my 3 year old call most people Ms/Mr. first name. FWIW, I'm a high school teacher and am called Ms. Last-name all day. I like to be called just by my first name outside of work or being called Larla's Mom is fine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever that adult wants to be called. Phoebe, Mrs. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, whatever.

I hate the "Miss Phoebe" thing. We're not Southern, obviously.

I am a brown immigrant and I would say “Miss Phoebe”. It’s not just a Southern thing.

We have kids call us by our first name and I find it incredibly off putting that their parents allow that and even refer to us by our first name when talking with their kids. It’s like they think they are being so modern but it’s really tacky. Your kids are still kids. Stop thinking that treating them like your mature equal is going to make them into some well adjusted super adult.

[Anonymous]

I hate the whole Ms./Mr. First name. It is like some stupid mash up of formal and informal. If you are gonna do the Mr./Ms then use the last name. Otherwise go with first name. My kids have always been taught to assume Mr./Ms. Last Name and then change only if instructed by the person in question. The important lesson is to always start with most respectful level of address. This will serve them well when they enter the the professional and adult world.

[Anonymous]

So if you call close friends Aunt and Uncle then what do you call your real aunt and Uncle and how do people know who is your actual family and who isn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children are not the equal of adults and they learn respect by calling non-family members by Mr., Ms, Mrs. close friends Miss/Mr first name and very close friends uncle or aunt. I have no qualms in correcting children who have called me by my first name.

Children don’t learn respect through arbitrary, authoritarian rules. They learn it through watching adults live kind and thoughtful lives.

Yes, actually, they do.

[Anonymous]

Mr./Miss First name, though now my kids go to a school where they address their teachers by their first names so it’s changing and I’m not really stopping it.

[Anonymous]

We usually do Mr. or Ms. FIRST NAME around here - that seems to be what everyone else does.

I know it's different than what I grew up with, which was Mr. or Mrs. LAST NAME.

I suppose it makes me feel old when people call me Mrs. LAST NAME or MA'AM. LOL.