This is what class rage feels like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I just can't feel bad for this woman. It all comes down to choices. And how you deal with the cards you are dealt- that's how the winners are separated from the losers.

Years ago one of my best friends was living in Manhattan, working at an average paying job that she could get literally anywhere in the US, and constantly bitching about. how expensive it was. I said - so leave. She went on at length about. how she never could, the theatre, the restaurants, the entertainment, the art, etc.! And I said - but you never go any of those places. You can’t afford it. And I come to NY once or twice a year, and do all that.

This is pretty common for New Yorkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely how I feel when I find out people have significant parental help in the form of house down payments (or full purchase price), tuition, completed 529’s, free trips to Hawaii, etc. It’s all very hush hush because they want it to seem like they aren’t getting that much help.

I'm not trying to seem like my father didn't pay for most things I had. I just ... don't really talk about money at all, either way. If you are scraping by and ONLY want to be friends with people who are also scraping by, then you need to find a way to say that. Otherwise, if you're cool, I'm going to try to be friends with you. I have friends who are a part-time bartender, a social worker, a paralegal, a tech chick, general counsel of a company, etc. I'll be friends with anyone whose personality I like. And yes, if that means we meet up to go for a walk because you can't afford anything until payday, then I'm cool with that. Or if you want to grab a slice of pizza and can't afford the fancy Italian restaurant, I'm fine with a slice.

But I shouldn't have to feel bad about what I was given. I work hard, I appreciate what I have, I donate. And I will raise my children to do the same. While yes, giving them the gift of not having to worry about money.

NP your parents should have given you additional classes in reading comprehension , the author did not explicitly state that she wants people like you to feel bad about what you were ‘given’or that she exclusively wanted her friends to be fellow scrappers , but rather lamented the dishonesty of her ex peers . She described it accurately when she recounted instances of friends who gave her the impression that they were similarly situated only to discover that it was far from the truth . Perhaps you can chalk it up to people like you not ‘talking about money ‘ which is your prerogative , but in this case , it appears that the author would’ve wanted her peers to be more forthcoming which is an understandable and logical expectation . I don’t think expecting a peer to say ‘ hey Susie , the only reason why I’m even pursuing this career path is because I have a lot of family help’ is too much to ask

[Anonymous]

Meh, she needs to get over it. Life isn’t fair and I can relate to the envy felt towards those with financial freedom to explore life and pursue passions. I grew up poor. I made decisions that would stack odds in my favor to help me not be poor as an adult. I had jobs starting at 11 and worked up through grad school. I don’t feel rage towards those with more. I focus on myself. I have no patience for this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Thanks OP. I totally relate to this article. I had no idea that class rage is the name of the thing I feel all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, she needs to get over it. Life isn’t fair and I can relate to the envy felt towards those with financial freedom to explore life and pursue passions. I grew up poor. I made decisions that would stack odds in my favor to help me not be poor as an adult. I had jobs starting at 11 and worked up through grad school. I don’t feel rage towards those with more. I focus on myself. I have no patience for this nonsense.

Yup. I grew up middle class, I worked hard to get where I am. I also learned DH's dad has a lot of money. That helps. It's nice to have vacation homes to stay at, contributions to 529s, that sort of thing. We pay all of our own bills though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I just can't feel bad for this woman. It all comes down to choices. And how you deal with the cards you are dealt- that's how the winners are separated from the losers.

Years ago one of my best friends was living in Manhattan, working at an average paying job that she could get literally anywhere in the US, and constantly bitching about. how expensive it was. I said - so leave. She went on at length about. how she never could, the theatre, the restaurants, the entertainment, the art, etc.! And I said - but you never go any of those places. You can’t afford it. And I come to NY once or twice a year, and do all that.

This is pretty common for New Yorkers.

It’s common for DC’ers too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, she needs to get over it. Life isn’t fair and I can relate to the envy felt towards those with financial freedom to explore life and pursue passions. I grew up poor. I made decisions that would stack odds in my favor to help me not be poor as an adult. I had jobs starting at 11 and worked up through grad school. I don’t feel rage towards those with more. I focus on myself. I have no patience for this nonsense.

+1 If she doesn't get over it, she has a chosen a life filled with anger. There will always be inequities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind if LOLing at all the people in this thread saying the article is stupid. Because normally there is a LOT of class rage on this web site as a whole.

lol. I couldn’t agree with you more.

[Anonymous]

I’m feeling “rage” towards all the posts about working hard if you want to be rich. Hard work is only one part of the equation. Race, gender, mental illness, country of origin etc are also very important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Author is pretty stupid if she thinks she can pursue a BFA. That's a huge luxury. Taking on debt for a BFA, she knew what she was doing -- she was just choosing to do something really stupid (in her circumstance)

Art is not a luxury! I got my BFA and MFA and I have German cars (referencing another PP), a nice SFH in a close-in suburb, retirement accounts, and college savings for my kids. Zero help from my parents after high school. Author just seems out of touch and unable to monetize her malaise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can totally relate to the first half of the story. I understand what she is saying in the rest.

I feel envy at those who can comfortably send their kids to private. I felt envy (near rage) when having worked for 13 years each in professional careers (26 years could be someone’s entire career), we were struggling to buy an entry level crappy house in Arlington Mclean or Vienna. I had started off earning six figures, mostly did those 13 years, but could not believe how difficult it was to afford that house (after taxes daycare expenses what not).

I have seen what the author describes. People who are able to hang in there, develop and ultimately get some success in industries or careers that are not a real choice unless someone can heavily subsidize them the first 10-20 years (such as in the arts).

I just wanted to say that we don’t talk about things in that article or class issues often enough or open enough.

It’s like Hill staffers. Parents subsidize them until they become lobbyists.

But if you have half a brain, you don’t become a hill staffer unless your family has $$$. Certain fields are luxury goods. Plan accordingly.

A lot of good people don’t realize this. They aren’t dumb, just a little naive.

How?! I am from a tiny town at the epicenter of the opioid crisis in Ohio. I swear I practically fell off the turnip truck. But it was pretty easy to figure out the $ jobs that would match with my skills.

Idk. DH and I were both middle class and thought the key to wealth was law or medicine. Haha, jokes on us. Those are merely middle class jobs now. I had never heard of a lobbyist or ibanker until I was already in the working world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I just can't feel bad for this woman. It all comes down to choices. And how you deal with the cards you are dealt- that's how the winners are separated from the losers.

Years ago one of my best friends was living in Manhattan, working at an average paying job that she could get literally anywhere in the US, and constantly bitching about. how expensive it was. I said - so leave. She went on at length about. how she never could, the theatre, the restaurants, the entertainment, the art, etc.! And I said - but you never go any of those places. You can’t afford it. And I come to NY once or twice a year, and do all that.

This is pretty common for New Yorkers.

It’s common for DC’ers too.

x1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m feeling “rage” towards all the posts about working hard if you want to be rich. Hard work is only one part of the equation. Race, gender, mental illness, country of origin etc are also very important.

Of course it isn’t just hard work. But you increase your chances exponentially by choosing a lucrative area and not one they pays very little. I knew I would never be working at an art gallery because I had to pay my own bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely how I feel when I find out people have significant parental help in the form of house down payments (or full purchase price), tuition, completed 529’s, free trips to Hawaii, etc. It’s all very hush hush because they want it to seem like they aren’t getting that much help.

I'm not trying to seem like my father didn't pay for most things I had. I just ... don't really talk about money at all, either way. If you are scraping by and ONLY want to be friends with people who are also scraping by, then you need to find a way to say that. Otherwise, if you're cool, I'm going to try to be friends with you. I have friends who are a part-time bartender, a social worker, a paralegal, a tech chick, general counsel of a company, etc. I'll be friends with anyone whose personality I like. And yes, if that means we meet up to go for a walk because you can't afford anything until payday, then I'm cool with that. Or if you want to grab a slice of pizza and can't afford the fancy Italian restaurant, I'm fine with a slice.

But I shouldn't have to feel bad about what I was given. I work hard, I appreciate what I have, I donate. And I will raise my children to do the same. While yes, giving them the gift of not having to worry about money.

NP your parents should have given you additional classes in reading comprehension , the author did not explicitly state that she wants people like you to feel bad about what you were ‘given’or that she exclusively wanted her friends to be fellow scrappers , but rather lamented the dishonesty of her ex peers . She described it accurately when she recounted instances of friends who gave her the impression that they were similarly situated only to discover that it was far from the truth . Perhaps you can chalk it up to people like you not ‘talking about money ‘ which is your prerogative , but in this case , it appears that the author would’ve wanted her peers to be more forthcoming which is an understandable and logical expectation . I don’t think expecting a peer to say ‘ hey Susie , the only reason why I’m even pursuing this career path is because I have a lot of family help’ is too much to ask

You are absolutely insane to think that anyone owes someone else - especially a coworker - information about their finance. The logic that you think you are entitled to someone else’s personal information is mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely how I feel when I find out people have significant parental help in the form of house down payments (or full purchase price), tuition, completed 529’s, free trips to Hawaii, etc. It’s all very hush hush because they want it to seem like they aren’t getting that much help.

I'm not trying to seem like my father didn't pay for most things I had. I just ... don't really talk about money at all, either way. If you are scraping by and ONLY want to be friends with people who are also scraping by, then you need to find a way to say that. Otherwise, if you're cool, I'm going to try to be friends with you. I have friends who are a part-time bartender, a social worker, a paralegal, a tech chick, general counsel of a company, etc. I'll be friends with anyone whose personality I like. And yes, if that means we meet up to go for a walk because you can't afford anything until payday, then I'm cool with that. Or if you want to grab a slice of pizza and can't afford the fancy Italian restaurant, I'm fine with a slice.

But I shouldn't have to feel bad about what I was given. I work hard, I appreciate what I have, I donate. And I will raise my children to do the same. While yes, giving them the gift of not having to worry about money.

NP your parents should have given you additional classes in reading comprehension , the author did not explicitly state that she wants people like you to feel bad about what you were ‘given’or that she exclusively wanted her friends to be fellow scrappers , but rather lamented the dishonesty of her ex peers . She described it accurately when she recounted instances of friends who gave her the impression that they were similarly situated only to discover that it was far from the truth . Perhaps you can chalk it up to people like you not ‘talking about money ‘ which is your prerogative , but in this case , it appears that the author would’ve wanted her peers to be more forthcoming which is an understandable and logical expectation . I don’t think expecting a peer to say ‘ hey Susie , the only reason why I’m even pursuing this career path is because I have a lot of family help’ is too much to ask

You are absolutely insane to think that anyone owes someone else - especially a coworker - information about their finance. The logic that you think you are entitled to someone else’s personal information is mind boggling.

It’s mind boggling that the author thought what she was being told was frank and truthful ? It is mind boggling to you that the people she considered friends not the barista or the panhandler were pretending to go through what they knew wasn’t true ? Keep up with that mindset of thinking a moral compass can be bent or adjusted to suit your needs , with a little luck you might get the Felicity Huffman treatment some day .Out of curiosity, did you read the article at all?