Is your 15 or 16 yr old at all interested in driving?

[Anonymous]

My DS got his provisional a while back (we’re in MD), and he was very eager to do so. He drives to school (I signed off on this on the most recent occasion that the school bus just plain didn’t show up...that’s a whole ‘nother thread in a whole ‘nother forum), and because he does so, he hits the gym after school every day. This is a good development, and I’m pleasantly surprised how well it’s working out.

[Anonymous]

Mine weren't. They started driving at 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends' kids in the city are not interested. I think it is because they can go anywhere with Uber so easily. Parking is hard (both in terms of difficulty/fear for a new driver and finding it) in the city.

Who is paying for this Ubering exactly? Time to cut them off so that they can grow up.

Uh...so what does that have to with them being able to drive?

Dp You can be grown up and not be able to drive. I know a few people who are very responsible, have jobs and yet never learned. They are nice people too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does being interested in driving and being able to drive have to be mutually inclusive? One can be able to drive but still not be interested in driving.

I think the largest reason for kids nowadays to not be interested in drivign is because of access and the comfort of their own homes. If they want to socialize, they just go online; if they want to buy something, they just go online; if they need to get to somewhere, they just Uber there. Not saying all kids are like that but I'm sure a significant portion of kids are not interested in driving because of that. However, teens will still be teens. I still know plenty of kids who can't wait to get their license and get out of the house on their own though, just probably not as many as when we were their age.

OP here --- I think this definitely applies to my kids. I grew up with three tv channels (plus PBS)... there were no computers, only a phone. If you wanted any kind of interaction, you had to leave your house. We were motivated and the small town was less intimidating to navigate... we new how to get everywhere b/c we had been on those same streets for 15 yrs (being driven around). My kids don't know the roads and they have all the interaction they want (unfortunately) on their devices. It will be like learning to swim -- my kids fought that all the way, but they both know how to swim now b/c I insisted on it. It just seems like my job as a parent involves so much more "pushing" than my parents had to do. It's exhausting sometimes to want more out of life for your kids than they do for themselves.

At some point you are going to have to drop the rope and let them live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends' kids in the city are not interested. I think it is because they can go anywhere with Uber so easily. Parking is hard (both in terms of difficulty/fear for a new driver and finding it) in the city.

Who is paying for this Ubering exactly? Time to cut them off so that they can grow up.

Uh...so what does that have to with them being able to drive?

The uber access takes the incentives away.

And all the ubering perplexes me because one of the great things about my kid driving was that I had to drive less, and I could ask him to run errands for me. As a parent, I would question why so little is being demanded of the kid.

At this point, the kid drives. None of us in the house like to do it. But that's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pp again - they walk, rent bikes, take the bus, and uber everywhere.

We live in in a location where my kids walk to school and bus, metro, ride their bikes, or walk virtually everywhere else. My DS1, now 21, had no interest in driving. I did feel like it was a skill he should learn, so I forced him to get his learners permit at 17, but I found it was difficult to get the practice time in when I was the only one who cared about it. So he went off to college without a license. But he spent the summer after freshman year living with my parents, where there is no public transit, and quickly found that he wanted very much to drive. So he renewed his permit, practiced with my parents all summer, and then got his license. However, he maintains that his preference would be to live where he wouldn't need a car.

DS2 is 15. He shows a little more interest in learning to drive, but not much. I do think he will get his license earlier than his brother, if only because he likes to compete with DS1 that way, lol.

[Anonymous]

My kid was not interested 5 years ago when he was 16. Got a learner's permit and let it lapse - twice. Finally, got his driver's license but did not drive all that much.

In college, he needed to drive for his part time job and his internship, and so he did. Very good driver now. I think there is no longer a pressure for kids (at least in this area) to start driving in HS. As long as they can solve their transportation issues, I don't care. I learned to drive in US when I was 28, immigrating from another country.

Car driving is a skill that anyone can pick up at any age. Your attitude as a driver is also dependent on your overall maturity level. I think many teens are not mature enough in terms of decision making to be good drivers.

[Anonymous]

My #1 had little interest. Got his license at 18 when his permit was about to expire. Now #2 has little interest either. Maybe because they can do so much on-line socially or shopping? Or maybe because they know we are not buying them a car? This seems very common among other families we know. Saved us money on car insurance...he will need to some day and then he will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does being interested in driving and being able to drive have to be mutually inclusive? One can be able to drive but still not be interested in driving.

I think the largest reason for kids nowadays to not be interested in drivign is because of access and the comfort of their own homes. If they want to socialize, they just go online; if they want to buy something, they just go online; if they need to get to somewhere, they just Uber there. Not saying all kids are like that but I'm sure a significant portion of kids are not interested in driving because of that. However, teens will still be teens. I still know plenty of kids who can't wait to get their license and get out of the house on their own though, just probably not as many as when we were their age.

OP here --- I think this definitely applies to my kids. I grew up with three tv channels (plus PBS)... there were no computers, only a phone. If you wanted any kind of interaction, you had to leave your house. We were motivated and the small town was less intimidating to navigate... we new how to get everywhere b/c we had been on those same streets for 15 yrs (being driven around). My kids don't know the roads and they have all the interaction they want (unfortunately) on their devices. It will be like learning to swim -- my kids fought that all the way, but they both know how to swim now b/c I insisted on it. It just seems like my job as a parent involves so much more "pushing" than my parents had to do. It's exhausting sometimes to want more out of life for your kids than they do for themselves.

At some point you are going to have to drop the rope and let them live their lives.

If I did what you propose, they wouldn't know how to swim, tie their shoes, multiply numbers, or drive. They would quite literally sit in their rooms and play games on their devices all day.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the next generation will even need to know or it will all be self driving cars..or enough that they just don't learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[nquote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG they better be. It's a life skill. I would say it's the parents responsibility to make sure they drive and are a good driver. I would be disappointed in any parent that didn't.

I think saying you would be disappointed in any parent because kid does not drive is a bit over the top..while I want my kids to know there are plenty of people who don't drive and yet live productive and happy lives. You should really check your priviledge, pp.

Soooo cliche'.

I knew I would "trigger" someone!

NP. But in this context it doesn’t even MEAN anything. Alll over the country, poor and working people drive. Are you saying, you should not do something (encourage child to drive) because you feel a group of underprivileged people DONT drive?
When people use it in the wrong context, it becomes meaningless. And I even debate the original intention: which is don’t do x, because less privileged people can’t do x.

[Anonymous]

My two daughters love to drive. They would jump at all opportunity to, including sending us to the grocery store or bank. They view it as a mark to maturity perhaps and have also been responsible to return the car on time as promised. The eldest one sometimes picks up her boyfriend when he couldn’t get the car from his parents. So while we read that it is an increasingly common occurrence where teens don’t want to drive, for us it isn’t the case.

[Anonymous]

OP - not all kids are like that - sitting on devices all day. I don’t know why it’s a shortcoming to not want to drive. I’m not saying we never need to push kids, but you seem to be romanticizing the past and only allowing for things that you find worthy. Times have changed. That’s not always bad. Maybe reflect on why your kids aren’t living up to your expectations. Is it your kids, your expectations, or a combination?

[Anonymous]

My 14-year-old has been talking about getting his drivers license for the last year. I’ve also noticed highschoolers on my street that don’t have their drivers licenses yet. One didn’t get it until she was 20.

[Anonymous]

My 15 yo is counting the days til she can get her permit.