Disruptive children in church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a special needs son whom I always felt was disruptive. Our priest constantly assured me that church is for everyone, including my son. No answer for you. But I sure did love my priest and our congregation for their acceptance.

+1
If the church wants you to have 'em, they had better welcome 'em!

There is more to this story. Perhaps your family contributes financially a lot.
If you were a single parent or an unmarried mother getting by on little, then you would likely be counseled out

No one is ever "counseled out" of church.

Where do you get these things?

Church is not a 30K per year private school, which is the only time that term is ever used.

Church is a business

[Anonymous]

Good grief, church and church members can be welcoming to families and children and still expect children to behave. There is no reason for a kid to be running up and down the aisles or yelling out during services (babies excluded from that of course). I went to family-heavy churches my whole life and never saw parents allow anything like that. Why do people hold their children to such a low standard of behavior?

And the person who said kids running around in church was the norm for eons needs to go back and revisit history. That is patently not true for the majority of white Christian denominations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a special needs son whom I always felt was disruptive. Our priest constantly assured me that church is for everyone, including my son. No answer for you. But I sure did love my priest and our congregation for their acceptance.

+1
If the church wants you to have 'em, they had better welcome 'em!

There is more to this story. Perhaps your family contributes financially a lot.
If you were a single parent or an unmarried mother getting by on little, then you would likely be counseled out

No one is ever "counseled out" of church.

Where do you get these things?

Church is not a 30K per year private school, which is the only time that term is ever used.

j


I'm a new poster- I was definitely 'counseled out' of a church that is often recommended on this board due to the challenges my children face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, church and church members can be welcoming to families and children and still expect children to behave. There is no reason for a kid to be running up and down the aisles or yelling out during services (babies excluded from that of course). I went to family-heavy churches my whole life and never saw parents allow anything like that. Why do people hold their children to such a low standard of behavior?

And the person who said kids running around in church was the norm for eons needs to go back and revisit history. That is patently not true for the majority of white Christian denominations.

This. The occasional babbling of a happy baby or undertone of a parent hushing a wiggly child is totally fine and normal and welcomed. Anyone, no matter their age, who is loud and disruptive enough to truly interfere with others' ability to worship should step out until things are under control. Tantruming child can be taken to the narthex until they have settled and then lovingly return to the service. People should mute their cell phones, and if they must answer a vibrating phone, take the conversation out of the sanctuary. Child running up and down the aisles is inappropriate, period.

Common courtesy and common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, church and church members can be welcoming to families and children and still expect children to behave. There is no reason for a kid to be running up and down the aisles or yelling out during services (babies excluded from that of course). I went to family-heavy churches my whole life and never saw parents allow anything like that. Why do people hold their children to such a low standard of behavior?

And the person who said kids running around in church was the norm for eons needs to go back and revisit history. That is patently not true for the majority of white Christian denominations.

This. The occasional babbling of a happy baby or undertone of a parent hushing a wiggly child is totally fine and normal and welcomed. Anyone, no matter their age, who is loud and disruptive enough to truly interfere with others' ability to worship should step out until things are under control. Tantruming child can be taken to the narthex until they have settled and then lovingly return to the service. People should mute their cell phones, and if they must answer a vibrating phone, take the conversation out of the sanctuary. Child running up and down the aisles is inappropriate, period.

Common courtesy and common sense.

x100000

[Anonymous]

I grew up going with my grandmother, and we all learned to behave without issues. I remember my brother sitting on her lap and she’d split her attention between him and the first half of the service. We’d be called forward for children’s time (short, kid-framed version of the sermon), then kids went downstairs for junior church (talking over the message and reviewing by doing an activity based on the message, sermon on loudspeaker was ignored) and came back up for the benediction hymn. I think we went downstairs from age 4-8? Boggled my mind when I saw a visiting middle school boy go up front, then downstairs, but her already been laughing at a video on a phone and generally being a nuisance. That church always provided crayons and paper, and they had a hall tree with quiet bags labeled with gender/age with extra coloring supplies and two toys.

I’m a huge fan of kids being taught manners, including that there are times that it’s inappropriate to be loud. I was taught that you don’t interrupt other people or try to purposefully distract. Both are behaviors I’m seeing more often in church, and both are being excused because people are afraid to ask parents to help their children learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What blows my mind is the amount of crap kids need these days to get through an hour long service (I’m Catholic). When I was growing up (and I’m in my 20s, so not THAT old) I and most of the other kids I knew were MAYBE allowed to color on the kids bulletin or read a kids Bible, but for the most part we were expected to sit quietly and participate. Today I see parents showing up with enough games/toys/snacks for an overseas flight! The best was when a mom wheeled in a rolling backpack with multiple snacks and had one kid write his class valentines while the other rolled cars up and down the pew. I don’t mind if a child cries, talks to a parent, or gets restless, but kids are capable of sitting through a service without constant entertainment. It really is absurd. I agree with you 100% OP.

I agree with you actually. A lot has changed in that regard, and I'm only 32 and grew up going to a local catholic church (one attached to an elementary school, no less). The services were filled with kids and families. You'd hear kids talking (and promptly bring shused) here and there, and the occasional outburst - when a kid wouldn't calm down, a parent would carry them out. Yes it was somewhat catered to families, you knew kids were there and I don't think it was necessarily the environment OP is looking for or anything. But that said, in general (and taking into consideration how many kids were there) everyone was pretty darn well-behaved, and it was rare to see ANY toys. Definitely not big bags full, and snacks and screens. I think it's a little nuts. It's an important skill for kids to learn (and practice!) to sit and be bored and not wreak havoc or require constant stimulation for one freaking hour. And yes, I do have kids (2 and 4)